Inquiring minds will have observed strange doings in the night. You are lying in bed, starting to drift off, no doubt dreaming of hot tub threesomes with scraggly whores [1]. So, you’re in bed, you’ve still got a chubby, and you are peacefully slipping into the dreamworld of sex and frollics. Suddenly, there’s a bump in the night. You hear high-pitched chattering from the next room.
You ignore it. You sleep. The next morning as you towel off after a shower and open the dressers drawer to find your fresh pair of shreddies [2] you find….. SHOCK HORROR!…. no shreddies. Not even slightly skidmarked Primark 70% polyester specials. Gone!
Those goddamn UNDERWEAR GNOMES have struck again!
For those of you unfamiliar with what I’m banging on about [3] check out this video.
So, back? Great. Put your feet up and light a cigar. The underwear gnomes have been adopted by business schools the world over to memetize organisations with a shitty business plan. The gnomes have three phases to running a profitable enterprise.
PHASE ONE: Steal Underwear
PHASE TWO: ?
PHASE THREE: Profit.
The jokes comes from the gnomes not understanding the first principles of business. A business only exists if you have a product and customers. Everything else is secondary. The gnomes are so excited about stealing underwear that they never get as far as figuring out how (or even if) it can be monetised and thus be a real business.
This, by the way, is almost every silicon valley start up. In that depraved shit-hole of homosexual globalists, only Facebook and Google make a profit [4] and the latter only on their AdSense because everything else they do is shit.
So, to daygame.
I’ve been noticing a common theme among all the monkeys posing as daygame coaches [5] that they all seem to employ Underwear Gnome Daygame [6] in which the street portion goes as follows:
PHASE ONE: Open
PHASE TWO: ?
PHASE THREE: Get Number
Try as I might as I watch their shitty infields and laugh at WhatsApp videos my friends surreptitiously record during their (for example) Budapest bootcamps, I can’t find any actual game being done. Phase two does not have any definable things that appear to be getting done.
Go watch them yourselves. It’s fucking awful.
Anyway, I’ve been looking into some of the dating advice on teh interwebs and the gnomes appear to have infiltrated that too. Most of the dating advice I find on the forums [7] is according to this complex operational plan:
PHASE ONE: Turn Up
PHASE TWO: ?
PHASE THREE: Get Laid
It really hurts my head to watch this nonsense. So, with that in mind, I shall pour myself another whiskey and consider having an early night. Peace out [8].
If you like mad drunken ramblings from a raging egotist, perhaps you’d like to buy my Womanizers Bible product for the very reasonable price of $49. If you’d like 1,000 pages of very detailed instructions on PHASE TWO then perhaps you’ll be wanting Daygame Mastery and Daygame Infinite. If you want it on video, try Daygame Overkill
[1] Actually, I heard they were ok. Sorry Xants. Just joshing.
[2] Uniqlo supina cotton, I would hope.
[3] the gnomes, not the skidmarks
[4] And I don’t include freaky Elon Musk and his taxpayer-subsidy riding bullshit shennanigans and shifty soon-to-be-exposed accounting practices
[5] There are a small number of very good coaches, who are all my mates, and the rest can fuck off.
[6] Version 3.0
[7] Other then everyone agreeing not to mention the Pay part of P4P, or admit the real quality of the stinkers they are banging
[8] You wankers
