I’m minding my own business on Facebook chat with some girls, as I’m wont to do, when a random Italian sends me a friends request. I search my memory and I’m pretty sure I’ve never met her before. She’s made a mistake.
A big mistake.
Let’s find out what sort of trouble she’s landed herself into…..
Her: are you the guy from soho???
Me: probably, I go there alot    on the street?
Her: maybe…but you are the wrong guy  [ok, that’s cleared up the mystery. Let’s see if I can reel her in]
Me: no problem    I have a common name    so who are you? [low investment, she ought to be polite after opening me]
Her: the most common in england i think    i am [Milano]
Me: That much I already know    you look Italian  [slight defiance, make a guess – easy because of her name – and see if she’s curious about what I think of her]
Her: haha    i am
Me: like one of the crazy Sardinians  [tease, start to put her into a box]
Her: no    from milanno
Me: oh dear…..   I nearly got murdered in Milan  [bait a story, see if she wants to draw it out of me]
Her: haha    why?   mafia?
Me: I was there on business    my last job I travelled all over the world    usually Brazil, Japan etc, but we had an office in Milan    on my first night I get a taxi from the airport    as we come into the city centre, the taxi goes slow because a woman is lying in the road    this is a black mercedes. It doesn’t say “taxi”. My secretary booked it    there was a group of 10 middle-class middle-aged people near her    like they were going to the opera    very Milan-style clothes    and suddenly they attacked my taxi    shouting they were gonna kill us  [standard A2 DHV story. All true. She opened me so I can easily feign disinterest in classic Mystery manner]
Her: hahahha
Me: ð¦Â    I thought “Milan is full of crazy people”
Her: probably    thats why i’m not there anymore [she’s happy to talk about herself, so I can get her to work a little]
Me: why did you come here?
Her: i dont like milan    or italy    in general    haha
Me: your food is good [positive frame]
Her: that’s true    i’m still cooking it here
Me: oh, so you like cooking? [ bait]
Her: yes  [hook]
Me: +10 points for you ð  [reel]
Her: hahaha
Me: women in England can’t cook    My last girlfriend was from Uzbekistan. She cooked amazing stew!  [release]
Her: uzbekistan?     omg!hahah
Me: well, she was culturally Russian    cos she lived in Moscow since she was 15 for all the shows    but cooked Uzbeki food. Yum!!!!  [preselection DHV and a chance for her to ask about me, which she doesn’t take this time]
Her: i’ve never tried that food
Me: I cook Japanese mostly  [minor DHV]
Her: japanese?    i love japanese food  [rapport seeking]
Me: I lived there. Beautiful people    have you been?  [DHV, allow commonality without jumping on it, stack]
Her: yes    once    it’s an amazing country    and culture
Me: wow +5    where did you go?  [reward, stack]
Her: tokyo, yokohama, shizouka and yamanashi    and some towns between   [she’s investing]
Me: ok, I understand the first 3 but why yamanishi?  [not completely won over]
Her: don’t remeber all the names    my friend is from there    hahaha
Me: !    So you wandered around Japan, causing trouble….    … like a ninja    or wild geisha  [put her in a box]
Her: yes    always
Me: yeah, you’re trouble
Her: i am [she’s playing along, she knows that if we meet I’m not gonna force her to be a nice girl]
Me: I’m gonna tell my mum
Her: hahah
Me: she told me to avoid Italian girls  [flip the script – frame her as chasing me for sex]
Her: she is clever
Me: “Nick, never date an Italian” she said. “They are all perverts”    “She will kill you when you sleep”
Her: hahahah    yes, that’s what we do  [playing along, she’s attracted]
Me: So I tried dating an Italian.  [bait her to ask about it]
Her: are you british?  [she ignores bait, she wants to find out more about me – an IOI]
Me: English
Her: same…
Me: nope.    that’s like me saying you are from Greece  [defiance, and put it back onto her]
Her: no
Me: you look a bit Greek, actually  [another box she doesn’t want to be in and will qualify to climb out of]
Her: thats not the samei don’t look greek
Me: yeah you do    I found a photo of you looking greek
Her: ¬¬    idiot…    haha  [IOI]
Me: ð    So what do you do in London?  [elicit investment on a high]
Her: i found one yours as well…Â Â [playing along, working, investing – a great sign]
Me: British Bulldog ð
Her: i love that dogs    they are so ugly  [IOI]
Me: hey!    that’s saying I’m ugly    my profile photo is so cuuuuuute   -3 points for Milanno  [tease disapproval…]
Her: ahahha    what u do in london?  [….which triggers rapport-seeking. She’s thinking “who is this guy I’m suddenly attracted to?”]
Me: I was an investment banker    now I’m a writer
Her: a writer?
Me: yup  [not jumping on the chance to talk about myself. I’m not gonna qualify]
Her: how many events have you written?    books    hahah
Me: 4
Her: did you sell any?
Me: One of my jobs in Japan was a fight journalist. I wrote alot about fight / boxing / martial arts    all of them ð    sold out!
Her: to your family and friends?  [she’s enjoying this and I’m happy to let her keep investing]
Me: -5 points for the cheeky Italian girl  [more teased disapproval]
Her: hahahahha
Me: If you were here, I’d spank your naughty ass    Are you a reader?  [sexualise then immediately stack, see how she reacts]
Her: yes    but i just read real books    hahahah    not boring ones    ð  [she accepts it but doesn’t expand upon it. Good sign but not a slamdunk]
Me: blah blah blah    I don’t think you read    I think you just talk alot
Her: why not    i talk a lot too
Me: this is the books you read
It’s about you  [another box, while also letting her know the sex will be good and non-judgemental]
Her: haaha    yes   my favorite book
Me: So why London?  [need some comfort and qualification before progressing to close]
Her: i like london    its a cool city
Me: true    do you work here?
Her: yes    do you know [name of where she works]?
Me: the shoe shop?
Her: no
Me: it sounds like a club
Her: its a bar restaurant    very cool   in [west end] street
Me: ah, I know [that] st. My favourite cafe is there  [commonality]
Her: haha    well, i work there as an event cordinator
Me: oh, so you’re a very organised girl  [qualify her]
Her: yes    at least at work
Me: I just knew you were gonna say that    and your social / personal life is disorganised!
Her: exact    hahaha
Me: typical young girl….  [more boxes]
Her: haha    are u organised?
Me: extremely    too organised for you    you’d hate me  [false disqualifier]
Her: haha
Me: I’d be always telling you off for being late….. forgetting things…    … losing my stuff [basic Mystery style]
Her: haha    do you think so?
Me: well, I’ve never actually met you…    but probably I’d need to discipline you    make you into a real elegant lady    like that Audrey Hepburn movie  [set her hoops to jump through to please me, while framing myself as above her]
Her: i am    i’m better than her  [she thinks she’s winning, but she’s qualifiying]
Me: big words
Her: haha   haha
Me: Do you work normal Monday-Friday?  [logistics, assume the sale]
Her: no
Me: when’s your days off?
Her: it depends    not always the same ones    it depends on work
Me: this coming week, I mean
Her: wedn and thursday
Me: ok, I’ll have a look at you. Give you some tips on being a proper English lady  [I’m being won over, just]
Her: i don’t want to be an english lady   [resistance is part of the game for girls]
Me: I know, it’s tough for Italians    we’ll start with some English tea  [reframe, bulldozer objections]
Her: I won’t be an english girl… never!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I guess it’ll be mojitos then
Her: ok, better  [it’s on]
Me: text me [my number]
Her: i can’t now
Me: ok, what’s yours
Her: i’ll text you later    idon’t know my non-work phone number
Me: no probs    You’re at work now?
Her: yes
Me: obviously they aren’t working you hard enough…..
Her: hahaha    i can do two things at the same time
Me: Walking and chewing gum?
Her: yes
Me: I’m gonna have a shower [escape the scene of the crime before the cops show up]
Her: ok…
Me: Nice meeting you Milano. Now get back to work!  [comfort and order her around]
Her: i am working    not hard at the moment    but working
Later that evening I get the “hey, it’s me!” text. Result.