4 things you can do:
1. Understand that women often say one thing and do the complete opposite, when it comes to men and relationships
Itâs just their nature.
For example: A woman will say that she wants a nice guy, who is sweet and caring, but then lust after a bad boy who doesnât care about her and only wants to use her for sex.
Alternatively, a guy will be talking to a woman in a bar and she might say something like, âI just want you to know that thereâs no way I would ever have sex on the first night or date with a guy. Iâm not like that,â only for her to hook up with him sexually later on that night.
Another examples is where a woman will say that she doesnât give out her phone number to guys at bars, but then she gives her number to him when he asks.
Then, there is also the woman who breaks up with a boyfriend and says, âI will never, ever change my mind about leaving you. Itâs over between us and the sooner you accept it the better, because Iâm not getting back with you again! Iâm the sort of woman who doesnât believe in second chances. I never give second chancesâ only to find herself in a relationship with him again days or weeks later and feeling more in love and more devoted to him than ever before.
So, what makes a woman say one thing and then do the complete opposite of that?
Attraction.
Attraction changes everything.
When a guy triggers a womanâs sexual and romantic feelings for him during interactions, everything she previously said goes flying out the window.
Not because she was lying before (most women wholeheartedly believe what they say when they say it), but because he managed to changed her feelings for him, so what said no longer applies.
Itâs just how women are.
Men on the other hand, tend to say what they mean and do what they say.
Thatâs our nature.
Yet, women tend to go with how they feel, even if that means changing their mind after making a seemingly very serious statement like, âI donât believe in second chances.â
What makes her change her mind is when you change how she feels and what you need to change about how she feels, is how attracted she is to you.
How much attraction a woman feels for you is largely under your control, because itâs based on she feels in response to your behavior, attitude, conversation, tone, vibe and actions.
In other words, she reacts to who you are and if you are being attractive when you interact with her, she will feel attracted.
If you make her feel attracted enough, she will then begin to feel compelled to go back on what she said, change her mind and give you another chance, or at least open up to it and see how it goes.
So, if you want your ex back, donât give up because of what sheâs currently saying to you, or has recently said about herself (i.e. she doesnât give second chances).
Instead, just use any interactions you have with her, to re-spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are byâ¦
- Making her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you again, rather than making interactions feel stressful, or annoying for her by focusing on her decision to give you a second chance. She will go with how she feels and if she feels attracted, she will open up to it. If not, she will remain closed.
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension between you, rather than being too serious and making the interactions feel boring and unnecessary, or being too friendly and making her feel like she only sees you as a friend now.
- Being confident and self-assured with her, regardless of what she says or does to make you feel as though she would never give you a second chance.
- Having the balls and social intelligence to use humor when she is being bitchy or cold, while also making her warm back up to you by being a good guy about it (e.g. She says, âI donât believe in second chancesâ and you laugh and confidently, calmly and lightheartedly say, âOkay, but you believe in third chances, right? We can skip over the second chance and just go to third baseâ and have a laugh with her).
- Showing her via your attitude, behavior and actions that youâve leveled up as a man and are no longer the same guy she broke up with (e.g. youâre no longer insecure like you used to be, youâre more manly in how you express your emotions or points of view, your behavior is more manly, you seem to know how to make her feel attracted and turned on in new ways as you talk to her).
When you do that, her feelings change and what she previously said about being someone who doesnât believe in second chances, suddenly becomes less important to her.
She realizes that maybe there are times when she can make an exception and give a guy a second chance.
After all, if she doesnât give you a second chance and sheâs feeling attracted and drawn to you, then sheâs going to miss you.
If she misses you, wants you back and then sees that you move on without her and are happy with another woman, she will feel like the one who has been left behind.
As a result, she opens back to you and gives you another chance, rather than having to experience the pain and regret that will come with a rejection like that.
Another thing you can do to get another chance with an ex who doesnât believe in second chances isâ¦
2. Stop making her feel like you want a second chance
If your ex currently believes that she is against giving second chances, then she wonât respond well if you try to convince her to give you one (i.e. give her reasons why she should).
A lot of guys donât realize this until itâs too late.
As a result, a guy will often make the mistake of:
- Begging and pleading with her to change her mind. He then comes across as desperate, emotionally weak and needy, which then turns her off even more.
- Promising her that he will change and become the man she wants him to be, if she will just give him one more chance. In most cases, a woman doesnât believe he can change, or even knows how to change, so she refuses.
- Asking her to tell him what it will take for her to give him a second chance. This causes a woman to feel stressed, repelled and turned off because the guy needs her help to understand how to be a more desirable man. She doesnât want to teach him and be his mentor. She wants him to understand how to be a desirable man, or learn it and then do it. If he needs her to tell him, then she will avoid telling him because she doesnât want him following her instructions like a lost puppy. She wants a man who knows how to be attractive and desirable and then just gets on with doing it, so she can get on with being a happy, feminine woman who is in love with her man, rather than a mentor.
- Showering her with gifts, flowers or attention. A woman doesnât fall in love with a guy because of what he can buy for her, but rather for how he makes her feel when sheâs with him. For example: A guy can buy her a huge ring and she can still feel turned off and want to leave him, if he is insecure, needy and fairly clueless about how to attract her naturally (i.e. with his confidence, masculine energy).
- Sending her a long series of text messages, letters or emails, where he pours his heart out and tells her how much she means to him. Yet, the woman doesnât care about his feelings anymore because she has broken up with him. Due to that, she is only focused on how she feels and what she wants. She will only want him back if he reactivates her feelings for him. His feelings for her are irrelevant prior to that.
How about you?
Can you relate to any of the mistakes above?
If so, donât worry about – you can still recover the situation.
Whatâs most important now and what will ensure the highest chance of success at getting her back, is for you to change your approach with her from today onwards.
For example: Donât push for a second chance and instead, just focus on making her feel attracted and drawn to you when you next interaction with her.
How?
Imagine that youâre on a phone call or video call with your ex and she says something like, âLook, I think itâs pointless to keep talking to each other. What we had is over and nothing is going to change that.â
Rather than getting upset, feeling insecure or starting to panic like you may have done in the past, respond by saying something like, âHey, I know Iâve been trying to convince you to give me another chance, but I realize now that itâs not going to happen. Ever. Itâs over between us. So, I want you to know I accept your decision. However, that doesnât mean we canât be mature adults about the whole thing and still be friends, right? We can at least be friends, even though weâre never getting back together.â
By saying something like that to her, she can begin to relax her guard because and breathe a sigh of relief, because youâre not going to be pressuring her for a second chance anymore.
As a result, she will more than likely agree to being friends, which is exactly what you want.
Why?
Simple.
You can then use the friendship to build on her feelings of attraction and as a result, make her feel like she is missing you and wants to see you and potentially hook up with you.
Whatever she does, youâre always on her mind.
She canât seem to forget about you.
Why?
Attraction.
When a woman is attracted to you, her focus will be on you.
Natural chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin begin to activate in her brain and cause her to feel good about talking to you.
They also cause her to want to be close to you physically, or at least in your proximity, which results in her being more likely to say yes to catching up in person.
Of course, as long as you suggest catching up in a way that continues to make her feel attracted (i.e. say it with confidence, rather than seeming insecure, desperate, worried about being rejected, giving her too much power in the conversation, etc).
Another thing you can do to get another chance with an ex who doesnât believe in second chances isâ¦
3. Make her feel like sheâs got something to lose
At the moment, you are the one who feels like youâve got something to lose.
She is doing fine and will probably continue to do fine without you.
That is, until you make her feel like she is the one whoâs got something to lose.
How?
Re-attract her to make you want you again and then pull away.
Give her a few days of space and let her miss you and realize that she still has feelings for you and what you and her had, isnât over.
For example: Imagine that youâre on a phone or video call with your ex.
Initially, she might try to put you off by being cold, distant and by saying things like, âHhhhhâ¦why are you calling me? I thought I made myself clear that Iâm not interested in getting back with you. Itâs over. I donât believe in second chances. I told you that.â
Regardless of what she says or does to put you off, the most important thing is for you to maintain your confidence with her.
Confidence is attractive women and whatâs even more attractive, is confidence under pressure.
When you can maintain confidence in your attractiveness and value to her, or your ability to attract her as you talk to her, she will sense that and it will naturally make her feel attracted to you.
On the other hand, if she senses that you doubt your attractiveness, value or ability to attract her and as a result, are insecure, she will naturally feel repelled and turned off.
In a relationship, a woman will put up with that for a while because itâs often a huge inconvenience to go through with an actual break up and it can end up being quite stressful (e.g. with the deep and meaningful conversations, the post break up texts, etc).
Yet, after a woman has dumped a guy, she usually has close to zero tolerance for insecure behavior.
If her ex is being insecure, sheâs going to sense that, feel turned off and repelled and feel more certain about her decision to have broken up with him.
So, make sure that you maintain confidence no matter what she says or does.
To amplify her attraction, you should also add in some humor to get her smiling, laughing and feeling good when talking to you, especially if she is trying to put you off by being cold, distant, rude or difficult to talk to.
When you get her to crack a smile and laugh, it begins to get rid of some of the negative feelings she may have been experiencing when she initially heard your voice.
Then, as she starts to relax and seems happy to be talking to you, have the courage to throw in some flirting to create sexual tension between you and her.
When you do that, she naturally feels sexual desire for you again and as a result, she realizes that her feelings for you arenât dead.
She then begins to feel compelled to catch up with you and potentially hook up again to see how she feels afterwards.
If she doesnât immediately suggest it to you, she will be forced to think about it when sheâs alone and missing you.
She will imagine herself meeting up with you, feeling attracted, hooking up and enjoying it.
She might also imagine herself just trying to forget about you and move on, but then seeing you with a new woman and regretting not giving you a second chance.
All of a sudden, she realizes that she has something to lose now and as a result, she opens up to seeing you before itâs too late (i.e. you change your mind, you attract a new woman and end up liking her more).
Another thing you can do to get another chance with an ex who doesnât believe in second chances isâ¦
4. Let her see how much youâve changed, so she can feel differently about you
Itâs so important that you get to an in person meet up, so she can experience the new and improved you for herself and more importantly, realize that she now feels a lot differently around you (i.e. more attracted, more challenged (in a good way), more excited, more aroused).
Essentially, you need to allow her to realize that the feelings she wasnât getting in the relationship (e.g. feeling proud to be your girlfriend, feeling girly in comparison to your masculine approach, feeling safe and protected because youâre so emotionally strong, feeling respect for you because you can handle her even when sheâs being moody) are now available to her because youâve changed.
What needs to be changed, adjusted or improved will be based on why she really broke up with you.
For example: Some of the changes she might want to see in you are thatâ¦
- Youâre a lot more confident and self-assured now and as a result, you donât feel the need to be clingy or jealous anymore. You donât see other guys as competition for her. You see yourself as the man. Yet, at the same time, youâre not being arrogant about it. Youâre confident, cool and composed about it.
Youâre more of a challenge now and as a result, you naturally make her feel like she needs to put in some effort to impress you to maintain your interest in her. Itâs no longer a one-sided relationship where you are trying to win over more of her love and attraction. Now she feels the need to use her charms (e.g. being girly, being loving and warm, giggling at your jokes, touching you in a sweet, affectionate way, making you feel manly around her) on you to make you want her more. - Youâre still a good guy who is loving and attentive, but you no longer allow her control you with her dominant personality and push you around like she used to. It doesnât matter how cold, moody or irritable she is being, you are now able to maintain your cool, remain confident and bring a loving, lighthearted vibe into the interaction. As a result, her ice melts and she always finds herself warming back up to you, rather than continuing to be cold. She also feels silly for being such a pain in the butt and then begins trying to be less moody and more loving, warm and in control of her emotions around you.
- You have a clear purpose for your life that includes real goals, ambitions and dreams and are working towards achieving those things with or without her. Yet, at the same time, you also make her feel wanted, loved and appreciated. Your life isnât all about her anymore, or all about your work. Youâre more balanced now.
- Youâre more emotionally mature now and as a result, you and her are more in sync with each other than you were before.
- When she experiences the right changes, adjustments or improvements in you, she will naturally feel renewed respect and attraction for you.
She will suddenly stop feeling as though youâre a turn off, or canât be the kind of man she wants.
Instead, she will realize that you now make her feel differently (in a good way) and if she doesnât give you a second chance, sheâs going to regret it.
