Here are 4 possible reasons why sheâs with her rebound guy, even though youâre better looking than he is:
1. Many women end up accepting a less attractive guy (physically) in the hope that he will be motivated to stay with her for life
In some instances, a woman might hook up with a guy who is really good looking.
As a result, he might feel like heâs better than her, because he often gets attention from other women.
Even though he may not come out and say it to his girl, at the back of his mind he might be thinking things like, âSheâs lucky to have me. I could have my pick of women, but I chose her. I hope she appreciates it.â
This kind of thinking can then lead to him treating her badly or making her feel unappreciated.
For example: A guy like that mightâ¦
- Look at and even flirt with other women in front of her, without caring about her feelings.
- Talk about his plans for the future without including her.
- Belittle her, both in private and in front of other people.
- Be unsupportive of her big dreams and goals in life.
- Look down on her (e.g. he doesnât value her friends, family, education, interests).
This may cause the woman to feel insecure, jealous, angry and even begin to behave in ways that she doesnât want to (e.g. she always checks up on him to see if heâs cheating on her, she hides her true personality from him and instead tries to mould herself more into the kind of woman she thinks he wants her to be, she avoids her friends/family/pursuing her interests because he doesnât approve).
However, over time, she might reach the point where she begins thinking things like, âI hate the person Iâve become in the relationship with him. Iâm no longer myself. Instead, Iâm always trying to be what he wants me to be so that he will treat me better and give me the love and attention I crave. At the same time, Iâm always afraid heâs going to find another, more attractive woman than me and leave me. I canât live like this. I feel miserable all the time. Iâve got to leave him.â
She will then almost certainly break up with him and look to find herself a new man.
This may often be a guy who is less attractive than her current man, because she knows that a guy like that will be grateful to have a woman like her interested in him.
As a result, he may end up treating her better, being more loyal to her and possibly giving her the security about the future that she felt was lacking in her relationship with her better looking ex.
Another possible reason why your ex is with a less attractive guy than you isâ¦
2. She enjoys the emotional connection she has with him
Sometimes, a woman might hook up with a guy who she feels a lot of physical attraction for (i.e. because he is very good looking).
However, after the initial lust wears off, she may discover that sheâs not really attracted to him emotionally.
For example: She might realize thatâ¦
- Him and her have very different views about life (e.g. sheâs serious-minded and has a definite purpose and direction in life while he is childish and immature and only wants to live in the moment, she likes to save and invest her money while he spends every cent he gets instantly, sheâs more of a bookworm while heâs more of an adventurer).
- She doesnât like his quirks or odd personality traits (e.g. he bites his nails, he never finishes what he starts, heâs too much of a perfectionist and he gets annoyed with her when she doesnât do things his way).
- He isnât a man of his word, but you are.
- Heâs too emotionally closed off, but you were more open.
- They donât share a similar vision for the future (e.g. to settle down and start a family together).
- She doesnât enjoy his company that much and prefers to hang out with her friends than with him.
She may then decide to break up with him and find herself another man who is more emotionally compatible with her.
When she does, she wonât be too concerned if heâs not as good looking as her ex.
Instead, she will feel drawn to him based on how he makes her feel when sheâs with him (e.g. respectful, attracted, understood, valued, emotionally safe).
Hereâs the thingâ¦
A womanâs emotional attraction to a man is much more powerful than her physical attraction to him.
So, even though she may initially feel drawn to a guy based on his appearance, if she canât connect with him emotionally as well, her feelings for him will quickly fade away.
This is why, if you want to get your ex back, you canât expect your looks to do the job.
Sure she was attracted to you once and she will likely still feel physically attracted to you now.
However, itâs how you make her feel when sheâs with you that matters most (e.g. does she feel feminine and girly, emotionally safe, loved and appreciated, desirable).
So, if you want to get your ex back, you have to spark her feelings in ways that are important to her emotionally and then also make her feel attracted to you physically.
When you do that, chances are high that she will quickly begin regretting her decision to break up with you.
Her guard comes down and she becomes open to getting back together again.
On the other hand, if you donât make her feel the way she wants to feel when she interacts with you, but her rebound guy does, then she will feel more attracted to him and then getting her back becomes a lot more difficult.
Another possible reason why your ex is with a less attractive guy than you isâ¦
3. He was waiting in the wings in the hope that you and her would break up and sheâs now giving him a chance
Quite often, after a break up a woman tends to feel a bit insecure about her attractiveness.
Even if sheâs the one who initiated the break up in the first place and even if sheâs a really beautiful woman, she may still end up thinking things like, âWhat if I canât find another guy?â or âWhat of no other man finds me attractive?â
She may then quickly get into a rebound relationship with a guy sheâs known for a while who had been interested in her, to make herself feel better.
Of course, if the guy is then able to make her fall in love with him by displaying some of the qualities and personality traits that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. confidence, emotional strength, emotional masculinity, drive and determination), she will stick with him, regardless of his looks.
On the other hand, if he thinks, acts and behaves in ways that are unattractive to her, she will quickly dump him and look for a new man to get into a relationship with, now that she feels more confident about herself.
Either way, if you want her back, you canât sit around waiting to see which way things are going to turn out with her new guy.
If you want her back, you need to interact with her over the phone and in person and reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
The more you make her feel attracted in new and exciting ways, the more likely it is that she will begin to notice her new guyâs flaws (e.g. heâs not as attractive as you, heâs not as confident and emotionally strong, he doesnât have your charm and charisma).
She then begins to question her decision to break up with you and she becomes open to at least interacting with you more to see how she feels, opening the way for you to get her back.
Another possible reason why your ex is with a less attractive guy than you isâ¦
4. She moved on as quickly as possible, to avoid missing you and going back to you
Just because a woman breaks up with a guy, it doesnât necessarily mean she no longer has any feelings for him.
So, to avoid being tempted by him if he calls her and says things like, âPlease forgive me baby. I know I stuffed up, but I promise if you give me just one more chance, I will do whatever it takes to make you happy,â she quickly gets into a rebound relationship instead.
She will then likely use the new guy to distract her and help her get over her ex.
Then, if things donât work out with him, she can dump him and move on.
However, because she was never fully committed to him in the first place seeing as he was only her rebound guy, she wonât have to go through what she did with her ex (i.e. miss him and want to go back to him).
In a case like this, getting your ex back is pretty easy.
You need to interact with her every chance you get, make her laugh and smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
When you reactivate her feelings of respect and attraction for you, she naturally gets to the point where she feels that if she doesnât get back with you, she might end up regretting it later on.
She then becomes open to dumping her new guy and giving you another chance.
On the other hand, if you just wait around hoping she will realize she wants you back and break up with her new guy, she may fall in love with him for real instead and even end up marrying him.
Alternatively, if it doesnât work out, she might find a new man who sparks her feelings in interesting ways and get into a relationship with him instead.
Either way, you will end up being the one who misses out.
So, donât wait to see what happens.
If you want your ex back, make it happen now.
Another possible reason why your ex is with a less attractive guy than you isâ¦
5. She is only using him for now and will dump him when sheâs ready
Sometimes a woman will immediately get into another relationship after breaking up with a guy, to help her from missing her ex, or from feeling tempted to get back into a relationship with him when she knows that things wonât work out between them.
Yet, her new guy may not actually be someone she perceives as being her ideal man (e.g. because heâs too nice and sweet, heâs insecure about himself and his value to her, heâs too emotionally soft).
Instead, heâs likely just the kind of guy she believes will treat her well and give her a chance to heal from her break up, without her having to worry about falling in love with him.
Then, when she fully gets over her ex and regains some of her confidence, she will usually dump her rebound guy and focus on finding herself the kind of man she really wants to be in a relationship with (e.g. confident, emotionally strong, emotionally masculine).
Of course, if her rebound guy changes his approach to attraction and begins displaying the qualities sheâs looking for in a man, she will quickly change her mind about breaking up with him.
She will hold on to him instead, even if heâs not as good looking as her ex or other guys that might be interested in her.
Remember: A womanâs attraction to a man is based more on how he makes her feel when sheâs with him, than on how good looking he is.
Itâs who he is when sheâs interacting with him that matters to her.
For example:
- Does she feel good in his presence of does she feel tense, annoyed or bored?
- Does she feel turned on or does she feel neutral, like a friend or even a little bit turned off?
- Does she feel like she can look up to him and respect him or does she look down on him?
- Does she feel like she can rely on him to be the man all the time, or does she feel emotionally stronger than him and that she has to take care of him?
Those are the types of things that really matter to a woman.
So, if you want your ex back, make sure youâre not using the wrong approach to re-attract her (e.g. focusing on looks rather than feelings).
When you spark her feelings again by thinking, acting and behaving in some of the ways that truly matter to her, she will not only want to be with you again, she will also appreciate that youâre a good looking guy as well.
Being Better Looking Than Her Rebound Guy Wonât Get Her Back if Youâre Making These Attraction Mistakes
You can get your ex back if you want to.
It all depends on your approach to attraction with her.
Is what youâre saying and doing turning her on, or is it convincing her even more that her rebound guy is better than you?
It all depends on whether you make any of the following mistakes with her:
1. Asking her why she is with him
It might be tempting for a guy to want to say to his ex something along the lines of, âWhat are you doing with him? Heâs not good enough for you. Canât you see that heâs not good looking? Youâre a beautiful woman and you should be with a guy who is more attractive than him.â
Yet, rather than make a woman think something like, âHe has a point. I do deserve to be with a good looking guy,â she will likely just think something along the lines of, âOh, heâs so jealous! He canât see why I would date a guy who is less good looking than him. Yet, what he doesnât realize is that by saying that to me, heâs proving to me that he still doesnât have a clue what a woman wants in a man. He still thinks that looks are more important than how he acts, thinks and behaves in a relationship with a woman. Well, thatâs why heâs broken up with. He just doesnât get it.â
She will then feel drawn to her new man even more, even if heâs not perfect.
So, donât make that mistake with your ex.
Her reasons for being with a guy who is less attractive than you are none of your business.
What is your business though, is how you make her feel when you interact with her from now on.
The more you spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you when you talk to her over the phone or in person, the more drawn to you she will feel again.
Then, getting her back becomes easy and it will have nothing to do with your looks, but rather with who you are as a man.
Another mistake to avoid making isâ¦
2. Assuming that looks is what really keeps a woman impressed and interested
Although a guyâs attraction to a woman is based mostly on physical appearance, a womanâs attraction to a man is based more on how he makes her feel when sheâs with him.
This is why, a woman can easily date an unattractive guy and in her eyes see him as the most good looking man in the world.
Hereâs the thingâ¦
Looks might initially attract a woman when she notices a guy across a room.
However, if she interacts with him and he displays unattractive behaviors and personality traits (e.g. heâs arrogant and self-absorbed, or insecure and needy, heâs domineering and pushy or too nice and submissive), she will suddenly start seeing him as being less attractive regardless of his physical appearance.
The same applies to a guy who is ordinary or even a bit unattractive.
If he displays the types of characteristics and behaviors that are naturally attractive to women, (e.g. confidence, emotional strength, emotional masculinity, the ability to make her feel feminine and girly in his presence) he will suddenly become a lot more good looking to her.
So, donât make the mistake of thinking that just because youâre better looking than her rebound guy, you should automatically be more attractive to your ex.
Thatâs not how it works.
If you canât make her feel the way she wants to feel when sheâs with you (i.e. respectful, sexually attracted, loved and appreciated, excited, emotionally secure) based on the way you talk, act, think, behave and interact with her, sheâs not going to care if you have super model looks and her rebound guy is downright ugly.
Instead, sheâs going to pick him over you.
That is unless you start attracting her in the ways that she wants.
Only then will she see you as being better than him and begin to want you again.
Another mistake to avoid making isâ¦
3. Never really understanding the missing pieces of the attraction experience you were offering to her
Sometimes, when a guy realizes that his ex woman is dating a guy who is not as good looking as him, he might begin thinking things like, âWhat does she see in him?â
He may then waste a lot of time trying to figure that out, rather than trying to understand what pieces of the attraction experience were missing in his relationship with her.
As a result, when he interacts with his ex and she realizes that heâs still stuck at the same level he was at before, she feels happy with her decision to break up with him.
This is why, if you want your ex to see you as being better than her rebound guy, you have to understand her real reasons for breaking up with you.
Then, when you interact with her from now on, you can give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants (e.g. make her feel like a sexy woman in your presence rather than a neutral friend, stand up to her in a loving way when sheâs trying to dominate you emotionally, maintain your confidence with her regardless of what she says or does to get under your skin), rather than offering her things that she doesnât want (e.g. superficial things like looks).
When she can see for herself that youâre now the kind of man she always wanted you to be, she will naturally drop her defenses and open back up to you.
You can then reactivate her feelings for you and get her back.
However, if you donât change your approach and hope that youâll win her back based solely on your looks, you will likely be disappointed when she sticks with her rebound guy, or finds another man to be with other than you.
Another mistake to avoid making isâ¦
4. Assuming that she must feel embarrassed for dating a less physically attractive guy
Although there are some shallow women out there who will only date guys who are very good looking or have loads of money or status, the majority of women are not that shallow.
Instead, most women will easily date a less physically attractive man if he can give her the attraction experience she really wants.
So, donât assume that your ex will care that you are better looking than her rebound guy.
As long as he is making her feel more sexual and romantic attraction for him than you are, she will stick with him.
This is why, if you want her back, you have to stop focusing on looks and start focusing on attraction.
Thatâs the main thing that matters when getting an ex woman back.
The more attracted you make her feel, the more she will want to be around you.
Then, when the time is right, go ahead and hug, kiss, have sex and get her back into a relationship with you.
