5 common reasons why a woman will do that:
1. She’s worried that you will be trying to get her to commit to a relationship if she meets up with you
If a guy interacts with his ex after the break up and makes her feel some sparks of respect and sexual attraction for him, she might then agree to meet up with him in person.
However, after she says âYes,â all her doubts begin creeping in and she may then start thinking things like, âI donât know what made me say yes to him, but I think it was a mistake. I know he still cares for me and if I do meet up with him, heâs more than likely going to push me into giving him another chance. However, I just donât feel ready to be in a relationship with him yet. Maybe itâs better if I donât see him in person right now and avoid finding myself in a situation that I donât really want to be in.â
As a result, she cancels on him and says, âCan I have a rain check on the meet up?â as a way of stalling for time, as a well as letting him down easy.
Hereâs the thing thoughâ¦
Itâs up to you to take the pressure off your ex, by not making the meet up sound too serious, or making her feel like youâre going to try and talk her into getting back together again.
How can you do that?
Start by calling her on the phone again and sparking some more of her feelings for you.
Use humor to make her feel relaxed to be talking to you and get the laughter flowing between you and her.
You can then say (in a joking way) something along the lines of, âOkay, you owe me a rain check and itâs time to pay up. Iâm free on Wednesday or Thursday this week, so pick which day suits you best.â
If she tries to get out of it again by giving you an excuse like, âNo, I canât make it,â or âIâm busy on those days,â make sure you donât become despondent and give up.
Instead, maintain your confidence, smile, laughing and say, âOh, come on…why are you making such a big deal out of meeting up for some coffee? Youâre not thinking I want to meet up with you as an excuse to get you back, are you? Besides, itâs not like that between us anymore. Weâre just friends now and thatâs cool with me.â
Of course she then has to say, âNo, thatâs not what Iâm thinking,â even if she is, because she wonât want you to assume she wants you back.
She will then most likely also agree to meet up with you again and also show up this time (to prove that sheâs not worried that you want a relationship again).
At the meet up, you need to focus on having fun together (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good to be seeing you in person again), rather than being too serious and making her put up her guard even more.
Just continue building her feelings of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
She then naturally relaxes and opens up to the idea of getting back together again, without you needing to force her into it.
However, if you put too much pressure on her to commit to a relationship before she feels ready, she will likely clam up and refuse to see you again in person for a while, making it so much harder for you to get her back.
Another possible reason why a woman will ask for a rain check after canceling a meet up isâ¦
2. She’s stalling for time while she tries to move on without you
Sometimes a woman will agree to meet up with an ex, because she doesnât know how to say âNoâ to him in a way that will convince him that sheâs not open to seeing him again (i.e. because she doesnât have feelings for him anymore and he hasnât done anything to spark her feelings).
Instead sheâll make plans with him to meet up, only to cancel on him at the last minute as a way of stalling for time.
She will then focus all her efforts on finding a replacement guy (e.g. by accepting dates with guys she knows are interested in her, going out to clubs or bars with her single friends).
Then, the next time her ex calls her on the phone to ask her to meet up again, she can say, âI know I said Iâd take a rain check, but Iâve actually met someone else now. Iâm really sorry, but it just happened. So, I think itâs better if we forget about seeing each other now and just move on.â
The best way to prevent something like that from happening to you, is by making sure that you interact with your ex again right away (preferably on a phone call) and focus on sparking some of her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you, so that she wants to meet up with you.
Then when you meet up with her, make sure that youâre ready to fully re-attract her (e.g. by being confident around her rather than nervous and self-doubting, using humor to break down her defenses, showing her that youâre at a different level now than you were when you and her broke up).
Note: Only go to the meet up when you are ready (e.g. youâre more confident and self-assured, youâre more emotionally masculine).
If you get her there before youâre prepared, you will simply turn her off by your nervousness or self-doubt and she will then focus even more on moving on without you.
Another possible reason why a woman will ask for a rain check after canceling a meet up isâ¦
3. She honestly just didn’t have the time or energy to meet up at that time
Meeting up with an ex can be very emotional for a woman (i.e. because sheâs still dealing with feelings such as anger, disappointment and regret).
So, even though she might initially agree to meet up with her ex, when the time comes, she may start thinking things like, âEven though I said yes to seeing him in person, the truth is, I just donât have the energy to deal with it right now. Iâm already stressed out by work/my studies and seeing him will only add to that and turn me into a wreck.â
Then, rather than deal with her feelings, she simply cancels on him and buys herself some time by asking for a rain check.
Alternatively, itâs also possible that something important may have come up (e.g. at work/university/with her family) and she really had to cancel, but she sincerely meant it when she said she will take a rain check.
Either way, itâs up to you to call her back and make her feel relaxed and happy to be hearing from you, rather than tense and on guard because sheâs worried about what you will say about her canceling on you.
Focus on making her laugh and smile so that she starts to think, âI regret not meeting up with him before. I hope heâs going to ask me again.â
Then, when she seems at ease and like sheâs enjoying herself, you can say something along the lines of, âBy the way, I bought you a gift.â
She will then likely ask, âWhat is it?â and you can say, âA big, red umbrella for those rainy days when you want to cancel on me again.â
At this point she is probably going to be smiling and thinking about you in a positive way because youâre not making a big deal about her asking for a rain check and are instead making a joke about it.
As a result, she will likely be more open to rescheduling and keeping the appointment with you this time.
Another possible reason why a woman will ask for a rain check after canceling a meet up isâ¦
4. She doesn’t believe that you’ve changed, so she isn’t sure if she should be spending any time with you yet
Sometimes, after breaking up, a woman can still have some feelings for her ex so when he asks her to meet up, she instinctively says, âYes.â
However, her gut instinct is telling her that he probably hasnât changed and become the guy she needs him to be (i.e. because sheâs given him plenty of chances in the past to improve and he always reverts back to thinking, behaving and acting in his old, unattractive ways).
As a result, she starts to regret her decision to meet up with him.
She’s worried that she will meet up with him and be drawn back into a relationship, even though it’s not going to be any different.
So, rather than risk getting invested emotionally and being hurt again, she decides to chicken out at the last minute to protect herself.
The good news is that thereâs a good chance that your ex still has feelings for you.
Itâs just that at the moment, she canât trust that you will actually change and become the man she needs you to be.
So, if you want her back, you need to show her that you have already started to change and improve the things that matter to her.
For example: You can show her that youâre more confident now by not feeling insecure and doubting your chances of getting her back, just because she cancelled on you.
You can also show her that youâre more emotionally masculine by taking the lead and arranging another meet up, rather than waiting for her to let you know sheâs ready to cash in that rain check.
Remember: Actions speak louder than words.
When she can see for herself that youâve already made positive changes to yourself, she will feel a lot more open to meeting up with you for real this time.
Another possible reason why a woman will ask for a rain check after canceling a meet up isâ¦
5. She wants to see how you will react
After a break up, a woman will often test her exâs confidence before she lets down her guard and opens herself up to giving him another chance.
So, rather than make it easy for him to get her back right away, she might give him a bit of hope first (i.e. by agreeing to meet up with him) and then pull back to see how he will react.
For example:
- Will he give up on getting her back at the first sign of resistance from her, or will he persevere until he gets what he wants?
- Will he maintain his confidence when she cancels on him, or will he start to doubt his attractiveness to her?
- Will he take the lead like a real man and call her again to arrange another meet up, or will he wait for her to make the next move?
Depending on his reaction, she will either feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him for passing her confidence test, or she will see his true colors (i.e. that heâs an insecure, self-doubting man) and she will then stick to her decision to stay broken up.
This is why, if you want your ex back, you need to remain confident no matter what she says and does to shake you up.
When she can see for herself that canceling on you had no effect on you whatsoever and that youâre still confident and sure of yourself, she wonât be able to stop herself from feeling a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.
Then getting that meet up and re-attracting her will happen easily, because she will want it for her own reasons.
Where Guys Go Wrong When a Woman Asks For a Rain Check After Canceling a Meet Up
Just because your ex canceled on you, itâs no reason for you to make a big deal out of it.
In fact, if you handle it correctly, it can actually play into your hands where you can use it to make her feel even more attracted to you.
However, if you let it get to you, you might make mistakes that will turn her off.
For example: Where some guys go wrong when an ex cancels a meet up is byâ¦
1. Assuming that she is rejecting him
Some guys will always take a situation and assume the worst (i.e. that their ex is rejecting them for canceling their meet up).
Yet, hereâs the thingâ¦
There are some things in life that you have no control over (e.g. the weather, the outcome of a sports game, your ex canceling your meet up).
However, there are some things that you do have control over and the biggest of those are your thoughts.
Only you can decide what to think.
So, you can choose to think positive thoughts like, âShe asked for a rain check so that must mean she really wants to see me, just not at this time,â or you can choose to think negative thoughts like, âShe canceled our meet up so it must mean she not really keen to see me. Sheâs probably over me and she doesnât know how to tell me that sheâs not interested in seeing me ever again.â
Naturally, whatever you decide to think will have a certain outcome (i.e. you get her back vs. she moves on and meets another guy).
Thatâs why, if you want to get your ex back, make sure you only think positive thoughts.
If you donât you might talk yourself into giving up on her and end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
Another way that guys go wrong in a situation like this isâ¦
2. Being too flexible and coming across as desperate, or not being flexible at all and coming across as bitter
Either reaction will turn a woman off and make her resistant to actually giving the guy a rain check.
In the first instance, when a guy is being too flexible, rather than think, âHeâs so sweet. I canât believe how understanding heâs being,â a woman will likely begin thinking things like, âItâs like heâs got nothing else going on in his life other than waiting for me to agree to see him. Thatâs just so sad.â
She then feels turned off by his neediness and desperation and then the idea of going through with the meet up doesnât appeal to her anymore.
In the second instance, if the guy gets stubborn and says things like, âWell, if you donât want to meet with me just say so. You donât have to make excuses. Iâm a big boy. I can take it,â a woman might think to herself, âWhy is he behaving like this? Heâs being so defensive and bitter. This isnât the behavior of a guy who is emotionally strong and mature. Maybe I shouldnât meet up with him after all. I just donât think heâs really changed.â
She then clams up and tries to avoid interacting with him so that she wonât have to agree to meet up with him again.
Another way that guys go wrong in a situation like this isâ¦
3. Leaving it up to her to arrange the next meet up
When a woman asks for a rain check after canceling a meet up with her ex, he might start thinking things like, âI donât want to seem pushy or desperate, so Iâm just going to wait for her to come back to me with a suitable date to reschedule.â
Yet, most women won’t make the next move, because they fear being rejected if their ex has lost interest and says, âSorry, but you had your chance. Iâm not interested in seeing you anymore.â
Then she is the one who is hurting.
So, if you want to get your ex back, donât let insecurity and doubt stop you from making it happen.
If she said âYesâ to meeting up once before, she will do it again.
Just make sure that when you call her to make the arrangements you spark her feelings of attraction for you (e.g. by using ballsy humor, flirting with her, making her smile and laugh and feel good to be talking to you).
Then, not only will she say âYesâ again, this time sheâll be there too, because she will want to experience the new you face-to-face.
So, what are you waiting for?
Call her now and get her back.
