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Build to be happy

VD
February 19, 2016
This is the second part of Mike Cernovich's recent post that I found so significant. It merits closer contemplation:
People do not want to be happy, as becoming happy requires you to take action. Miserable people won’t watch a sunset or volunteer at a soup kitchen, even though those activities are proven to increase happiness. Stressed out people aren’t going to meditate.

People love being “who they are,” as that requires them to take no effort to change. Avoid those people like the plague, as they are diseased of the mind....

Finding happy friends as a man will be a constant challenge. Finding a happy woman is even harder.

The best strategy to find quality people is to become one yourself while ruthlessly cutting out toxic people, users, and manipulators.
As you work to improve yourself, one thing that you will find is that the world can be divided into three groups of people.
  1. Those who are indifferent to you. This is the vast majority of people out there.
  2. Those who will support you. This is, by far, the smallest group.
  3. Those who will attempt to tear you down. This group isn't huge, but it can be alarming to discover who is in it.
It's not just miserable people who will try to prevent you from improving yourself. Your wife or your girlfriend may feel threatened by feeling that you are moving out of her league and try to sabotage you. If you've got a Gamma father, he may belittle your efforts and attempt to make you feel as if your efforts are pointless. If you've got female friends, they may attempt to "put you in your place" or "let the air out of you". Your male acquaintances may even try to physically keep you in your place in the socio-sexual hierarchy to prevent themselves sliding below you.

That's why Cernovich is right to tell you to ruthlessly cut them out of your life. It doesn't matter if they are friends or family, if they can't even manage to be neutral towards your efforts at self-improvement, they have to go. There is a word for someone who actively attempts to hinder your efforts and make your life worse, and that word is enemy.

That's the bad news. The good news is that you will make new and better friends, people who are moving forward themselves. In the same way that gym rats tend to bond, people who are active and alive tend to like each other. I hit it off instantly with Mike; I recognized him as someone who was not content to coast, but was intent on achieving more tomorrow than he had today. It wasn't just interesting to talk about his plans with him, it was energizing.

And people like to be energized. So, if you want to improve your own life, learn how to be supportive of others and boost their energy levels, don't be a vampire and seek to boost your own by draining others.


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Post Information
Title Build to be happy
Author VD
Date February 19, 2016 4:50 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Blog Alpha Game
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Alpha-Game/build-to-be-happy.5004
https://theredarchive.com/blog/5004
Original Link http://alphagameplan.blogspot.com/2016/02/build-to-be-happy.html
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