Alpha Mail: divorce and disclosure

TA asks about the right time to tell a woman about his marital history:

 I am a 28yo man who believe in the red pill teachings and have been learning from many bloggers, including Heartiste, Rollo, and you, for a number of years. I have come across your post "No disclosure means divorce" the other day. You mention that, "young men should start expressing a firm No Disclosure Means Divorce policy, as this… permits men to make informed decision with regards to whom they will or will not marry." I have a similar scenario, but in reverse, and I want to seek for your advice.

I made the biggest mistake of getting married when I was 25yo only to find out that my "wife" cheated on me shortly after our marriage. Needless to say, I separated from her immediately and am in the process of filing a divorce. Fast forward to now, I am ready to go into a more serious relationship. I am wondering if I ever find a woman that is worthy of my time investment and with whom I see a future, when I should disclose my past history of marriage and divorce to her. And how would you suggest me disclosing without jeopardizing the relationship?

I think the right time is on the first date. I don't think it is necessary to go into details concerning precisely why the marriage failed; a light-hearted statement like "she failed to understand the concept that marriage entails the end of one's casual dating life" will suffice.

Women aren't like men. They don't view divorce as the turnoff that men do. Quite to the contrary, they see it as evidence that a man is "the marrying kind", so long as he isn't wounded and bitter about it. The longer TA fails to disclose his divorce, the more likely it is that the woman will be troubled by it when she finally learns about it. The less concerned about it he appears, the less interested and bothered by it she will be.

If asked about it, TA should simply shrug, give a wry smile, and say: "Oh, she was young and silly. It was hardly the end of the world. Anyway, that was a long time ago, so what about you? Any secret marriages into a polygamous Mormon household or an Arab harem?"

The one thing to absolutely avoid is the temptation to cry on the new woman's shoulder and tell her what a wounded bird he is and how he'll never be able to trust again. Women are attracted to rocks, not wounded birds.