Lack of lust, when it creates emotional distress, meets the psychiatric profession’s clinical criteria for H.S.D.D., or hypoactive sexual-desire disorder. Researchers have set its prevalence among women between the ages of about 20 and 60 at between 10 and 15 percent. When you count the women who don’t quite meet the elaborate clinical threshold, the rate rises to around 30 percent.What is worse is that this doesn't even count the women with a lack of sexual desire that doesn't create emotional distress for them. However, it is unlikely that the pharmaceutical industry will be able to provide the answer; even if they do manage to artificially provide a sexual picker-upper, the potential for disastrous consequences should be obvious.
Game, and specifically Dread Game, are much more likely to be successful for men faced with sexually avoidant women. Consider this aspect of the connection between relationship length and the decrease of female attraction for their husband or long-term male partner.
It is very clear that attempts "to reach through the invisible barriers" erected by sexually avoidant women will not work. Closeness and intimacy is what is turning them off. Therefore, to increase sexual desire in a long-time female partner who has become sexually dysfunctional, a man will have to engage in his own avoidant behavior. This doesn't mean it is necessary to go out and have an affair, only that it is necessary to create space in the relationship and induce an amount of fear in the woman.All scientists really know is that the disparity in desire exists, at least after a relationship has lasted a while. Dietrich Klusmann, a psychologist at the University of Hamburg-Eppendorf in Germany, has provided a glimpse into the bedrooms of longtime couples. His surveys, involving a total of almost 2,500 subjects, comprise one of the few systematic comparisons of female and male desire at progressive stages of committed relationships. He shows women and men in new relationships reporting, on average, more or less equal lust for each other. But for women who’ve been with their partners between one and four years, a dive begins — and continues, leaving male desire far higher. (Within this plunge, there is a notable pattern: over time, women who don’t live with their partners retain their desire much more than women who do.)
Go on more business trips and don't bother calling in. Go to Vegas or Bangkok with your friends. Start living more like the single man you once were and who once attracted her. Don't be always available or always at her beck and call. And if she starts worrying about your loyalty, don't be quick to reassure her of it. Even if the thought of infidelity doesn't occur to you, she doesn't need to know that. She doesn't deserve to know that because the knowledge will only kill whatever budding desire her dread is beginning to produce.
Now, it should be clear that this is not advice for most couples; the 70 percent of women who are not sexually dysfunctional and avoidant don't merit such behavior anymore than they should be taking the drugs. But once a woman exhibits a regular pattern of going to bed early or finding various excuses to forestall sexual overtures, more serious measures are in order.
