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A letter to Gamma

VD
July 7, 2016
Dear Gamma,

I don't want to despise you. I really don't. We actually have a fair amount in common, you and me. I mean, I'm probably one of the few high-status men with whom you can freely geek out and talk about Warhammer, or AD&D, or The Lord of the Rings; I'm a game designer and an SF/F author, after all.

I don't mind that you're overweight, intelligent, and less attractive to women than you'd like to be. What do I care about any of that? I'm not going to pretend to be interested in your life, nor do I expect you to be particularly interested in mine. I'm perfectly happy to take you as you are when I meet you on the battlefields of Advanced Squad Leader, in the online arenas of the computer gaming world, or at a technology convention.

What I'm trying to say is that I've got nothing against you.

But here is what you don't seem to understand. I have two eyes and I am perfectly capable of seeing what is in front of me. I also have a memory, which means that I am also perfectly capable of recalling what happened yesterday, and the day before that. And what that means is that all the poses you are striking, and all the posturing in which you so regularly engage, simply doesn't fool me at all.

In fact, it doesn't fool anyone. Do you seriously believe it does?

Look, it's okay to lose. Everybody loses from time to time. So, when you're turning red in the face and frantically telling everyone that you didn't really lose when we all saw you do it, well, to be honest, that makes you look a little crazy. It makes you look either weirdly insecure or totally delusional.

And when you insist that you could have totally had that hot blonde chick who was checking you out, but you just didn't feel like it at the moment, it doesn't make me think you've got high standards, or that you're too noble for this world, it makes me think that you're utterly terrified of rejection by women. That, or you're a closet case with a secret stash of International Male catalogs hidden under your bed.

You can't redefine reality. You can't explain away the past. Things are what they are. You have to learn to accept that.

I don't think you're a bad person at heart, but you've got some bad habits and some bad instincts, which combined with your insecurities and your psychological scars from the way people mistreated you when you were younger, causes you to engage in some despicable behaviors. You can't help what happened in the past, but you do control what happens next.

So, for the love of God, for the love of yourself, will you please stop lying to me, stop lying to yourself, and stop insulting both of our intelligences by acting as if you're the secret king who always triumphs, even if the victories are only in your head.

Love,
Sigma

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