I have a friend who dates only exceptionally attractive women. These women aren’t trophy-wife types—they are comparable to him in age, education level, and professional status. They are just really, notably good looking, standouts even in the kind of urban milieu where regular workouts and healthy eating are commonplace and an abundance of disposable income to spend on facials, waxing, straightening, and coloring keeps the average level of female attractiveness unusually high.There is no need to apologize for what one prefers. All men are attracted to female beauty even if only the top men can expect to reliably obtain it. This doesn't mean that they are dumb enough to value only beauty; the man who marries a woman simply because she is the most beautiful woman he has ever dated is a short-sighted fool.
My friend is sensitive and intelligent and, in almost every particular, unlike the stereotypical sexist, T & A-obsessed meathead. For years, I assumed that it was just his good fortune that the women he felt an emotional connection with all happened to be so damn hot. Over time, however, I came to realize that my friend, nice as he is, prizes extreme beauty above all the other desiderata that one might seek in a partner.
I have another friend who broke up with a woman because her body, though fit, was the wrong type for him. While he liked her personality, he felt that he’d never be sufficiently attracted to her, and that it was better to end things sooner rather than later.
Some people would say these men are fatally shallow. Others would say they are realistic about their own needs, and that there is no use beating oneself up about one’s preferences: some things cannot be changed. Those in the first camp would probably say that my friends are outliers—uniquely immature men to be avoided.
But there are bars which men will not cross. Limits. Like the man referenced above, I simply wouldn't date a woman who was below a certain level of facial attractiveness and bodily fitness. Anything over a BMI of 20, forget it; pretty much every girl in whom I harbored any interest from college until I married Spacebunny was between 17.5 and 18.5.
Was that superficial? Not at all. It merely meant that I had high standards. If I was superficial, I would have married an exceptionally beautiful trainwreck. Instead, I chose to marry a sweet, smart, funny girl who is equally good company at a football game or a black-tie gala. Of course, she also happened to meet my standards of female beauty.
A standard is merely the initial hurdle, it isn't the finish line. Expecting that the woman you marry will meet your expectations is no different than your future wife expecting that you will have a job. No woman who turns up her nose at an unemployed homeless man or an ugly gamma male has the right to denigrate your standards, whatever they might be.
Female beauty isn't a problem, it is a gift from God. Appreciate it where you find it and enjoy it while it lasts.
