~ archived since 2018 ~

Idealize, don't pedestalize

March 23, 2016
It's important to understand the difference:

The trick isn't to simply see your partner more positively and/or ignore their faults, it's to see them as ideal for you, warts and all.

The more you see them as your perfect partner, the happier you are and the happier your partner is. Emotions are contagious and your mood is highly influenced by the person you spend most time with.

Focus on negatives and you'll become even more annoyed by them. Thoughts become stronger the more you dwell on them. The more positive your thoughts, the more positive you feel.

Idealising encourages you to think 'we' not 'I'. This means you'll see problems as something shared (rather than caused by one of you) and stop blaming.

Being positive isn't helping? Look hard at your relationship. Is your partner relentlessly negative, hostile, abusive and/or unlikely to change? If the answer is yes, get help and get out.
Pedestalizing a woman will kill your relationship. So will constantly criticizing her. The trick is to idealize them without viewing yourself as unworthy of them.

IMPORTANT: This is within the context of a permanent marital relationship, not a casual or short-termed youthful one.

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Post Information
Title Idealize, don't pedestalize
Author VD
Date March 23, 2016 2:10 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Blog Alpha Game
Archive Link
Original Link
Red Pill terms in post
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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