It's the wrong kind of tough

On my last post, Robert Browning commented:

"You are wrong. This guy is very tough. The is as tough as nails. He took an oath. He mad a promise. And no matter what hell or torment his wife put him through this guy is going to keep his word to the day he dies and stay loyal and true."

Yes, sticking to your marriage vows, come hell or high water, is tough. It is honorable. It is absolutely what a man should do.

Oftentimes you see the refrain of "dump the bitch!" or "time to trade in for a younger model!" in the manosphere. Marriage is a God-ordained covenant, however, so jumping off because your wife is a pain or simply getting tiresome or old isn't a viable option, unless you're a pagan. In that case, you're going to hell anyhow, so breaking a marriage vow is the least of your worries.

My grandfather told me "staying married is easy - you just don't divorce."

Unfortunately, if your wife doesn't feel the same way, your decision to stay married can be overruled.

Staying in a bad marriage because you made a promise is "tough," but letting your wife walk all over you is not. That's so obviously wrong that it makes other men cringe and women loathe you.

It's not an either/or choice. "Lose your marriage" or "be a doormat" is a false dichotomy. There is a third way, and it's called game.

Coming back from the pit our previous example dug himself into wouldn't be easy, but it is possible. It would be tough - but it would be the kind of tough that comes from testosterone and grit, not just hanging on by your fingernails.

If you tell her enough is enough and she rebels, so what? You're already not getting sex or respect or even love. And if she breaks the covenant, you're off the hook. Work your way back towards headship. If she's a Christian, tell her that both of you have screwed things up and need to get back to a Biblical marriage.

Seriously, what do you have to lose? Better to live as a man.