Dexter asked “advice on raising sons not to be gammas?”
First you need to take heed of all of the advice about not being a Gamma yourself. You need to set the example first, but don’t take time off to straighten yourself out. If you are behaving like a Gamma around your son stop it immediately the best you can and work on improving. This list is not ordered by importance.
First you need to take heed of all of the advice about not being a Gamma yourself. You need to set the example first, but don’t take time off to straighten yourself out. If you are behaving like a Gamma around your son stop it immediately the best you can and work on improving. This list is not ordered by importance.
- Support your son in healthy activities even if it’s not something you would do or even particularly like. Don’t belittle his choices simply because it’s not something you would do.
- Allow him to fail and be wrong about things and then help him understand his mistakes and learn from failure. If you encourage him to lie about his failures you will make him scared to fail so he won’t try and a liar as well.
- Don’t publicly ridicule him, embarrass him, or compare him to other boys because you are angry at his behavior. If he embarrassed himself publicly he will know and already feel shame. Take him aside to discipline him and make it very clear why he is being punished. His punishment should be appropriate to the offense and not revenge for making you look bad or angry. If punishment is seen as revenge you will fill him with wroth.
- If he has a physical or minor character flaw don’t regularly point it out and mock him about it. He knows about it and has likely already been picked on about it. You don’t need to pile on, but rather need to encourage him through it.
- Allow him to see you be wrong about something and take responsibility for it.
- If he’s knows more about a subject, is right and you are wrong don’t use your position of power to take away his success but rather celebrate his knowledge or admit he’s right and you were mistaken depending on the situation.
- If he wants quit an activity he needs to take up a similar activity. For instance if he doesn’t like one sport he can try another, but he can’t just quit and play X-box.
- Teach him how to fight and defend himself, but that it’s always the last option and not the first.
- Spend time with him in traditionally masculine hobbies and activities, and chose a few which are particularly difficult and physical in nature.