I once made the statement that men are not red pilled through the existence of the red pill, they are red pilled through their own experiences, and are educated in what actually took place by the red pill. The impetus to seek out the literature, videos, and communities that make up the sphere is always a reaction to an observation that contradicts what he has been told. As a social species, our history is full of stories that are used to educate and socialize children, and it’s a common technique to convey information, precisely because of the persuasive and memorable narratives that are tied in with the information.
One of the first things a recent red pill man discovers is that many of the narratives that have shaped his relationships with the opposite sex are at best false and at worst deliberately misleading. Most men are raised with a string of narratives, most fairy tales end with the prince getting his princess and living happily ever after, the supplicating Beta male finally nails his prom-queen, the rule-following, law abiding, dutiful man wins and the alpha, rule-breaking, egocentric man gets his comeuppance. The prevalence of such narratives make perfect sense from a social perspective, after all a society where there is no rule of law, no morality and no code of behavior is bound to rapidly de-evolve into a free for all. However, the danger of widespread narratives is that when they are proven to be false, the ones who espouse them are viewed as less credible.
A child who is informed that his parents have been lying about Santa Claus for years and years is bound to question what else he has been told by his parents that is false information. This is a natural human reflex, when a person proves themselves as untrustworthy, everything they have ever said or done is questioned as a result. If the parents continue to attempt to maintain the lie, and instead question the perceptive abilities of their child, this is what is known as “Gaslighting“.
Narratives
Narratives are not inherently negative, they are used to socialize children, to transmit knowledge from generation to generation, to make philosophy more accessible and appear to be a preferred way for our species to learn. One could argue that narratives are a set of instructions shared by members of a group, either within the group or across groups, that offers knowledge regarding values, characteristics, behaviors, and various other things as a means towards creating what the society needs. A narrative forms a story in which observations or thoughts are put into a cohesive framework that assists in the communication of instructions or ideas.
You can tell much about a society from their stories, from the tales of Valor from the Spartans, tales of heroism from Vikings, and tales of transcending the material world from Buddhists. These all exemplify the type of goals and citizens are desired within a social group. Fairy tales for instance have served as a socialization device for centuries, those of the German variety demonstrating that those who engage in certain types of behaviors meet very much gruesome ends. “The Little Red Riding Hood” is a way to communicate through a memorable narrative how children should not talk to strangers.
The various socializing narratives have a goal of creating the type of citizens that a community needs, this is why some narratives remain similar across groups while others are distinctly different. The Narrative related to intersexual dynamics was very well explained by Rollo Tomassi in an article entitled “The Script” [1], where he outlines the female fantasy of taming the avowed Alpha bachelor, this narrative is the basis for the movie “Don Jon” among many others. Another example, and the script that is the basis for much of this article is the narrative of “Beta Bucks Wins“, exemplified by movies such as “100 Girls”. The narrative is very similar in both styles of movie where a person of low sexual market value pines after a person of high sexual market value. Throughout the narrative, the low SMV person attempts to demonstrate how they are actually the one of high sexual market value, not the people for whom the high SMV person pines.
This is the “Just be yourself” narrative played out how the many blue pill men expect it to, if they only find the “right woman” she will eventually realize how high the Beta male’s SMV actually is, and they will live happily ever after. This narrative is characterized by the two classic red pill examples of Beta Bucks and Chad Jerkboy, wherein the two different characters play very different roles. Chad Jerkboy will be embodying the characteristics of Alpha, is often a rule breaker, unconventional and self-centered. Beta Bucks embodies the characteristics of Beta, predictable, rule-following, and other-centric.
The trouble arises when the narrative comes into conflict with the experience of a person, and it turns out that the narrative is actually a faulty set of instructions. At this point, there is a clear conflict of interest between the group that created the instructions and the person who follows the instructions. In a sense, the latter group is the means to the first group’s end. When the latter group stumbles upon information that makes them able to discern this fact, the first group has no other option than to attempt to dissuade or distract them from the information. The most commonly used method for this is gas lighting.
Gaslighting
I briefly covered gaslighting in earlier posts on female madness, as it’s an often used technique by narcissists, psychopaths and borderlines, in order to confuse and render a target helpless. The term comes from a movie starring Ingrid Bergman, wherein her character marries a man who then proceeds to attempt to drive her insane through changing many minute details in their environment, but claiming that they have not changed, thus causing her to begin questioning her sanity.
In practice, it consists of a methodology usually consisting of denial, misdirection, contradiction and outright lies that aim to make the victim of such methods doubt their sanity, their perception, their ability to make judgements and increase their dependence on the person executing the strategy. If utilized over a long enough period of time with the victim in isolation, this can result in the victim becoming completely dependent on the executor for their sense of reality, in essence the victim will give the executor the ability to define reality. It’s not uncommon to observe this is cults where the leader will interpret events and define reality for the adherents of the ideology.
An example of denial in practice would be a person breaking a rule, then denying that the rule was ever broken with such convincing persistence that the person who observed the rule being broken starts to doubt if they saw what they actually saw.
The examples of such gas lighting in regards to intersexual dynamics are plentiful.
- “You’re just angry and bitter” – This is a frequent response when men voice the fact that their observations of female behavior in the wild does not appear to conform to the narratives they have been told, often from early adolescence. This is a denial form of gas lighting where the goal is to deny the truth of the observation based in the internal state of the observant. If the person making the observation is viewing this behavior through a lens of anger and bitterness, this does not affect the observation itself, merely the interpretation of the dynamics at play.
- “When you find the RIGHT girl” – This form of gas lighting is in the misdirect form, where a person seeks to distract from the observation that was made by not responding to the observation or the truth inherent in it, but instead by writing off the observation as something that took place as an exception. The misdirect here is that since this observation was made of women who are obviously “not the right girl” it follows that there is no general properties to the observation, just a specific instance of an event.
- “Not all women are like that” – NAWALT, is perhaps the best known counter-argument to the various observations that have been made of female behavior. This is another misdirect form wherein the person making the statement attempts to misdirect the person who made the observation away from the general application of the observation to the whole sample (all women).
- “I’m not like other girls” – The sister of NAWALT wherein a woman argues that “all women are like that except me“.
These are all mechanisms by which one seeks to make a man doubt the observations and experiences that has created doubt within him of whether he has been told the truth about intersexual dynamics. After all, the doubt regarding such a fundamental narrative is bound to carry over to other significant narratives that he has been told and which instruct his life.
Summary and Conclusions
Humans enjoy stories and throughout our history this has been capitalized on to provide easy to understand instructions within a group or between groups. “Aesop’s Fables” was one of my favorites when I was a child, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf” demonstrates that once one has the reputation of a liar, one will not believed even if one tells the truth, “The Farmer and the Viper” tells the story that one should not expect pity from scoundrels or alternatively that one should not expect people to act contrary to their nature. Shared interpretations of such narratives are of high importance as they often form the foundation on which a group is constructed.
As long as the shared interpretations survive the group is cohesive and act in agreement, as these are the shared instructions they all agree upon. I touched on this previously in “The Good Boys“, who are men that follow all the narratives that they have been told, only to find that there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. This dissonance between instructions and results creates dissonance within the person, especially with repeated exposure. I suspect that this is a major source of the anger-phase when a man finds the red pill, as not only has he been lied to, he also questions all the other narratives that he has been following.
Adding insult to injury, when he voices some of his concerns, or thoughts regarding the observation he has made of the narrative being contradicted, the response is a mixture of narrative-defense and gas lighting in order to get him to continue executing flawed instructions. In essence, once the person realizes that he is in the Matrix, a myriad of Agent Smith’s appear to ensure that the person do not escape the programming.
One must keep in mind that such programming serves a social purpose. When the population of single-mothers exploded, yet there were social narratives that resulted in few men wanting to date or marry a single mother, the narrative had to be adapted in order to get men to start dating and marrying single-mothers. Society needs the maximum number of productive, tax payers in order to finance the operations of government, if half the population are stay-at-home moms, they are non-taxable, as one cannot tax labor in the home. Furthermore, if one doubles the working population, the puts downward pressure on wages by increasing the labor supply. This creates a great benefit for both the government and corporations, perhaps not so much for individual families, thus the narrative must change.
A note:
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