The most ironic picture you’ve ever seen. Mao would have shit his pants at all this capitalism.

So I go to Asia and as soon as I leave the country Gene Simmons gets married and Steve Jobs dies.  WTF?

If I knew those things were going to happen I would have stayed.

I’m typing these words from my apartment in the Jing’an district in Shanghai, China, the largest “city proper” in the world (meaning the largest in population if you don’t count its surrounding suburbs…there are 23 million people here just in the actual “Shanghai” part of Shanghai alone).

I could write a hell of a lot about China, how they’re booming, how they’re going to take over the world, how all the money on the planet is moving here, how they’re more efficient, educated, and motivated than we are, etc.   I could also talk about how much I hate their communist roots, how much their authoritarianism drives me insane (you should see the fucking internet over here; thank god I can VPN into American gateways for my web access), and how their collectivist fervor does make me a little queezy.

But not toady.  Today, I’ll just give you a few random observations about the Chinese from a social point of view. This is a seduction blog after all.

1. My opinion of Chinese women is that 99% of them are unattractive but 1% are so off-the-chart hot, you can’t believe what you’re looking at.  So I’ll walk around, see a million Chinese women, won’t see any I would fuck, and literally get to the point where I’m not even seeing the women any more.

But THEN, some insanely beautiful perfect ultra-10 will appear, and I’m struck so hard by her I stare like an AFC and suddenly want to go into daygame mode even though I know she won’t speak a word of english (almost no one here does).

My guess, and this is just a guess, is that as a whitey American, I have been conditioned to like feminine features that are more…”white”.  Like bigger hips, bigger boobs, bigger, wider eyes, etc.  Chinese women have none of these things (with the occasional wonderful exception) so there you go.  Again, I don’t do this consciously, I think this is all happening in my brain without my knowledge or consent.  I have slept with many Asian women and do find them very hot, but all the Asian women I’ve been with were really cute and had bigger boobs, bigger butts, etc.

I thought back to all the Asian women I’ve slept with, I realized I’ve never slept with a Chinese woman.  Interesting.

When I get to Japan next week I’ll talk about the Japanese women.  There are some big differences between Japanese and Chinese women.  We’ll see. ð

2. No one here wears shorts.  Just an observation.  I’ve seen gazillions of Chinese over the last 48 hours and not one of them have been wearing shorts, even on warm days.  Interesting.  I packed some shorts but I’m keeping my jeans/slacks on, because when I travel I do my best to not wear a big bright sign that says “Stupid American Tourist”.

In all seriousness, the only people I’ve seen wearing shorts are the dorky white people.

3. And speaking of white people, there are no Americans here.  There are very, very few white people here and even those are not  Americans.  Europeans, Russians, Australians, etc.  But no Americans.  I’m used to this.  Whenever I travel internationally I seem to be the only American.  That’s because statistically, Americans don’t travel.  More than 70% of Americans don’t even own a passport.

That’s fine.  More for me.

4. There is no recession here.  No one is complaining about a bad economy or unemployment.   Ha!  Shanghai is as economically vibrant as Hong Kong, if not more so.  What to hear something funny?  Guess what everyone IS complaining about?  I’m here during “Golden Week” which is a big national holiday for the Chinese.

The big complaint and “concern” right now is number of visiting Chinese (from other Chinese cities) skyrockets more and more every year, overloading all the tourist attractions, because, and I quote, “everyone is getting wealthier”.

It’s just so funny to compare this to all the Americans and Europeans whining about economic downturns and unemployment and market crashes.

This is where the money is going, folks.  And it’s only just begun.  That’s why I’m here.

5. I’ve been offered hookers three times so far, and as a big white man, I expect to get more.  All three times it was female pimps.  Two of them were blatant: “You give me your hotel room and I send beautiful girl there. Many beautiful girls!.”  One of them was a little more classy “Would you like a ‘lady massage’?”

Tell them all bushi nuhaizi (“no girls”).  When they realize I can speak a smattering of Puotonghua (Mandarin) and realize I’m not some dumb tourist, they leave fast.  (Except for one of them who immediately downshifted into trying to sell me some silk shirts.  God I love the Chinese.)

6. People touch differently here.  We all hear about how crowds in China push and shove each other, but it’s more than that.  People touch.  Nongay women hold hands, much more than in the USA.  Men don’t hold hands, but when you see two guy buddies walking next to each other, often their shoulders and arms are touching even if there’s plenty of room to walk.  It’s almost European.

Americans are so hypersensitive about not only sex, but about physical touch.  We need to relax.  Though that in itself is ironic.  The Asians have a few things they need to relax about too.

7. For the third international trip in a row, I can’t get the internet on my primary phone no matter what I do.  I have an Android Droid X as my primary phone, and a small cheapy international phone I use for international trips (an unlocked quad-band GSM phone).

I can get phone calls to and from my Android, no problem (but I don’t because the roaming charges are insane).  I make calls with my international phone, with a real Chinese phone number, no problem.  The sim card here cost me five bucks US.  (I love China.)  But internet on my Android?  Nope.  Even using wi-fi I can’t get it to work.  The communists who run China locked down the internet here.

(Fucking communism!  Why to human beings insist on babysitting each other???  God dammit.)

So you go to a Starbucks here (or whatever), access their wi-fi, and they have to send you a text to a Chinese cell phone to give you access, or else no deal.  They send a text to your phone with a name and temporary password, then you can access the internet via wi-fi.

Fine, I have a Chinese phone number with my international phone.  Problem is, they send you the text in Chinese characters, which  my international phone can’t read.

Sucks, because I would like to Skype on my Android instead of my stupid laptop.  The last few times I was in China I had simliar problems with my Blackberry.  Dammit!  The “no internet on Blackdragon’s phone during international trips” curse continues.  Someday I’ll figure it out.

That’s all for the moment.  More to come.