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Dating Techniques That Don’t Work

Blackdragon
June 4, 2015

Today Iâm going to give you a quick list of dating techniques that DONâT work.

Why would I do that?

Simple. To save you time.

You may have heard the story about Thomas Edison being asked about his 10,000 failures while trying to invent the light bulb. His answer was, âI have not failed. I have found 10,000 things that donât work.â

Heâs right. Knowing what doesnât work is hugely valuable information. Back when I was getting good at this stuff, I was hitting the trial-and-error thing really hard. I would test a technique several times on several women, and if it failed every time, particularly if it made the situation worse, I would stop doing it. More importantly, I would make a notation to never waste my time by trying it again. My goal, which I did hit, was to get to a point where all I was doing were things that reliably worked most of the time.

So today Iâm going to give you a list of techniques that I have field-tested multiple times which did not work at all, so you donât have to waste your time trying them out.

1. When Women One Night Stand YOU

True stat from my dating life: I have never, and I mean never, been able to have sex with a woman a second time once she had sex with me once and dropped me thereafter. I have never been able to re-acquire a woman who does this, no matter what Iâve tried. Even if she does respond to my texts and is friendly, weâre never going to have sex again.

Seriously. Not once. If we have sex once and she then vanishes, I will never see her again sexually no matter how hard I try. (Often this is because she was cheating on a boyfriend or husband by playing around with me, though not always.)

This is why, once I realize a woman has one-night-stood me, I just hard next her and move on. I donât even try at that point; I know Iâll be wasting my time.

This is still true even if the sex was great for both of us, even if she orgasmed, even if the body language with her was positive, even if she said wonderful things about how much she liked me and wanted to see me again, and even if she proactively sent me positive texts the day after. If she vanished afterwards, no technique I have ever tried to bring her back into the fold has ever worked.

Women really do have a mental block about you once they decide youâre a ânoâ after first time sex or a first date (weâll cover the first date scenario in a minute). This is one of the many reasons my goal is to have sex with a new woman twice, on two separate occasions, before I consider her ârealâ and actually in my life. In my ebooks , I call this Lock-In. Once sheâs had sex with you twice, sheâs in your life now, at least for a while. But if youâve only had sex once, youâre not there yet (unless you enjoy one night stands, which I do not).

So if you ever have first-time sex with a woman and then she suddenly doesnât respond to your texts, or is always âbusyâ when you pitch another meet, or casually blows you off, just let her go. Sheâs gone. Donât waste your time on her. NEXT!

2. Re-Acquiring after a Post-First-Date Vanish

This is the exact same scenario as the above except that it applies to a first date where the woman suddenly doesnât want to see you again. Hereâs another true stat from my life: I have never, ever been able to have sex with a woman once she blew me off after a first date.

The reason should be obvious. It simply means she didnât like me. I wasnât her type, or whatever. Yet this happens even if I do beat the odds and end up with a second date much later, like 6 months after or even a year or two after the first date. Yes, thatâs actually happened to me once or twice. Was I successful in getting to sex? Nope.

Once a woman has had a first date with you and puts you in the ânoâ category, no force on Earth is doing to turn that around. Once again, you need to next, and move on to the next woman on the list. Donât waste any time trying to get a second date with a woman who ignores you or clearly blows you off after the first one.

3. Verbalizing Sexual Actions Right Before You Do Them

It took me a long time to figure this out, but once I did I was very happy to never do it again. Iâve already discussed the texting version of this failed technique here.

Never tell a woman youâre about to do anything physical or sexual right before you do it. Tons of guys do this, because it seems like the ânaturalâ or âsexyâ or âdominantâ thing to do. âIâm going to kiss you,â or âIâm going to fuck you,â or âI want to take your shirt off.â

This goes back to one of my old rules, true today as itâs always been. With women, if you say it, itâs forbidden, but if you just do it, itâs acceptable.

Hereâs one very simple example. There are lots of married guys whose wives know they cheat on them, yet they stay anyway. Just think about what would have happened to those guys if on the first date with these women they said, âWhen we get married, Iâm going to cheat on you.â

The woman would have thrown a drink in his face and never gotten married. But because these guys just did it without saying it, the women put up with it.

Sexual escalation works the same way. If youâre on a date thatâs going well and you just confidently kiss her, sheâll probably love it. But if you first say, âIâm going to kiss you,â or âI want to kiss you right now,â or the beta male version, “Can I kiss you?”, youâll spike fear and ASD and youâll likely get resistance. So donât say that stuff. Just do it (and of course if she resists, stop.) That applies to kissing, sex, removing clothes, whatever.

Talk about the great sex after youâve had it. Not right before.

4. Arguing or Debating with Women on Dates

Many men know that demonstrating strong Alpha traits is a good thing that creates attraction. The problem is that many Alphas go too far with this, and fall into the trap of actually arguing with a woman or debating her on some political issue on a first or second date.

Doing this will NOT get you laid. It will just piss her off and youâll never see her again. Even if youâre right and sheâs wrong, you lose.

Never, ever, EVER argue with a woman before youâve had sex with her twice (meaning on two separate occasions). Never, ever, EVER strongly and verbally disagree with or debate a woman on any political issue she believes in before youâve had sex with her twice.

Seriously, man. Do you want to be right or do you want to get laid? I choose laid. Every time.

After youâve had sex with her twice, then youâre in. At that point, you can relax and argue/debate with her all you like and she’ll keep sleeping with you.

A lot of you bastards are intelligent, highly opinionated men with big egos (including me). As Iâve explained in detail before, you need to bite your tongue when she says something stupid, irritating, or something you strongly disagree with. If you want to get laid, shut up and let her spew whatever woman logic she wants. If you still want to go all Alpha Male 1.0 on her later and set her straight, thatâs fine, but do it after youâve had sex with her twice.

5. Kissing on the First Date

Iâve already talked about this one in-depth in my ebooks and elsewhere, so Iâm going to just quickly summarize here.

Many guys brought up in the seduction community are addicted to the idea of the âkiss close.â Their goals are to kiss as fast as possible, and somehow turn that into sex. Maybe that works with drunken women at the dance club at 2am in the morning, but in a first date environment, this is death. It will spike ASD and reduce the odds of you ever getting to sex with her. I have massive amounts of empirical data to back this up (and not just my experiences, but those of other men too).

Kino (touch), sex talk, be Alpha, do all that other great stuff on a first date, but do NOT actually kiss her unless you are100% certain that youâll be having sex on that first date. Save the kissing for true sexual escalation on the second date, when you know your odds of actually having sex are high because sheâs already alone with you at your place.

6. Negs

This is another old-school, outdated, and in my opinion, useless technique from the PUA world.

Iâve had sex with a huge number of women, and Iâve probably âneggedâ less than 3% of them. Negging, a light insult wrapped in the package of a complement to slightly reduce the self-esteem of a woman, will not get you laid. Seriously. It wonât. I havenât negged a woman in many, many years. Even when I was doing it years ago, I only did it to the super hot 10s. Use negging very sparingly.

If you congruently demonstrate extreme outcome independence with a woman, particularly a really hot one, that will do all the negging you need. You donât actually have to insult a woman on top of that. Doing this will actually reduce your odds of success with most normal women.

7. Hotel Closes

A hotel close is when you get a woman to a hotel room to lay her quickly for the first time. While I admit I have done this successfully a once or twice in the past, the vast majority of the times I attempted it, it blew up in my face. Far more often than not, I ended up scaring women, insulting them, spiking ASD into the stratosphere, and often wasting a huge amount of money.

The only exception to this rule is when youâre travelling. Under these conditions, youâre already âatâ the hotel room, so itâs fine. The hotel room becomes like your “home,” so the dynamic is different. Youâre not trying to get her to a hotel room you have to book while sheâs standing there, her ASD rising every second.

Iâm willing to admit that I may have been doing this wrong, so if any of you guys have had first-time sex in a hotel room when you were not travelling, with at least 10 different women, within the first one or two dates, and you didnât give these women any money, then please describe in the comments the technique you successfully used so we all can learn. Assuming that doesnât happen, Iâm going to say that hotel-closing is a high-risk, low-reward technique that isnât worth your time.

If any of you have any other techniques, which I have not listed here, that youâve tried many times with many women and had a 100% failure rate on (or close to it), please let us know in the comments.

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Post Information
Title Dating Techniques That Don’t Work
Author Blackdragon
Date June 4, 2015 12:00 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Blog Caleb Jones
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Caleb-Jones/dating-techniques-that-donat-work.23191
https://theredarchive.com/blog/23191
Original Link https://blackdragonblog.com/2015/06/04/dating-techniques-that-dont-work/
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