I have analyzed the friend zone in great detail several times on this blog. I showed you actually how abusive friend zone is and what women really think about it here. I also showed you how pathetic beta males actually defend and encourage friend zone here.
Friend zone is a condition that is almost standard for most beta males. If you are a beta or ex-beta, youâve probably experienced friend zone before, perhaps even more than once. As Iâve said many times, friend zone is an abusive condition that no man should ever tolerate, ever, for any reason. All it does for the man is create sexual angst, and since sexual angst is a negative emotion, it should not be something you put up with.
Hang out with attractive women youâre having sex with. That’s fine. Hang out with unattractive women you like as friends, but donât want to have sex with. That’s fine too. But for fuckâs sake, donât hang out with hot girls you want to have sex with and who donât let you. Thatâs extreme beta male behavior, and it doesnât belong in your life.
Today Iâm going to discuss how to deal with friend zone, and how to possibly get yourself out of friend zone, despite the fact that once youâre in friend zone, itâs very unlikely youâll ever leave it even if you do everything right. But Iâll address that as well.
The Definition of Friend Zone
Based on many past discussions Iâve had about this topic with men online, I know that a lot of men get very defensive, nitpicky, and even downright angry when discussing friend zone. Therefore, this is one of those times I need to be very specific about what I say and what I mean.
When I say âfriend zoneâ I mean this: a condition where you want to have sex with a woman you personally spend time with, but she wonât let you. Iâm not talking about anything elseâ¦
Iâm not talking about having a platonic female friend you arenât sexually attracted to in any way. Those are perfectly fine and are not friend zone. One of my closest, longest friendships I have is with an overweight old lady in her late 60âs. Thatâs not friend zone because I donât want to have sex with her.
Iâm not talking about having a platonic female friend you find attractive, but never actually hang out with in real life. I have a particular long-term female friend who I really do consider a good friend, and I consider her attractive, but we almost never hang out. We do so perhaps once every few years. Thatâs not friend zone because Iâm not spending time with her. (Iâm too busy spending time with women who Iâm actually having sex with.) This also applies to women who live in distant cities or countries whom you rarely or never see.
Iâm not talking about women you used to have sex with and arenât anymore because of a LSNFTE. Thatâs not friend zone because youâve actually had sex with her, and if youâre following my advice, youâre not contacting her at all for at least four months.
Iâm not talking about women who happen to be attractive whom youâre forced to work with at your job. I understand that there are many possible scenarios where your job or your business requires you to work with women who you might find attractive. As long as youâre not spending time with her outside of the workplace, that doesnât count as friend zone because you have to work with her for monetary reasons (and she knows it).
I will ignore any comments from men defending âfriend zoneâ when it falls into any of the above categories, since those arenât friend zone.
Thatâs what friend zone is not. Hereâs what friend zone is:
When you regularly or semi-regularly hang out, in a social, non-work setting, with a woman you find really attractive, whom you know will not fuck you even if you try. This includes:
- Hot female friends
- Hot female friends of friends
- Hot married women (Yes you guys, married women count. Lots of you guys try to defend friend zone by saying married women somehow donât âcount.â Bull fuck. Yes they do. If youâre regularly spending time with a super hot married woman youâd love to have sex with and canât because sheâs married, thatâs fucking friend zone. You want to fuck her and you canât. Thatâs friend zone. The reason why you can’t fuck her isn’t relevant; you want to and she won’t let you.)
- Hot lesbians (what few there are in the real world)
- Hot, physically developed teenagers (Again, yes, this counts. If you regularly hang out with her and you want to have sex with her and you canât because she doesnât like you or because she isnât legal yet, thatâs friend zone. Again, the reason why you can’t fuck her is completely irrelevant.)
- Hot women youâd love to have sex with but âcanâtâ because youâre (stupidly) in a monogamous relationship with someone else at the moment (doesnât matter if you’re in a monogamous relationship or not; it’s still friend zone.)
For those of you who are more woman experienced, you could argue that there are âlevelsâ of friend zone for Alpha Males, PUAâs and other such gentlemen, and youâd be correct. Years ago, when I was still posting on forums, I described four levels of friend zone:
Zone 1: Real and true friend zone. She knows you, likes to hang out with you and get validation from you, but has never had sex with you, never wants to, and never will, no matter what you do. Zone 1 is always bad and should never be tolerated. Zone 1 also includes women you game who clearly are not sexually attracted to you at all, but still want to hang out platonicly “as friends.” 100% of these women should be hard nexted, period.
Zone 2: A woman you’ve had sex with once or twice, and then friend zones you afterwards for whatever reason. You might be able to have sex with her again down the road at some point, maybe, maybe not. It’s a total crap shoot. (You need to go no-contact with her for at least four months, as per my usual system.)
Zone 3: This is a woman who still wants to spend platonic time with you after a LSFNTE. This technically isn’t friend zone, but it can easily turn into real, Zone 1 friend zone if you arenât on your game and/or donât control yourself. This is a woman you’ve had sex with many times who nexts you or LSNFTEâs you, and uses the âlets just be friendsâ speech to do it. Now that she’s mad at you, bored with you, or has found a new boyfriend, you’re out of her sex life for a while. She still wants to hang out with you to get emotional and social validation, but she will not have sex with you, at least not right now. You can certainly fuck her again once she gets bored or tired of her current guy, assuming you get the hell out of her life and donât contact her at all for at least four months.
Zone 4: Zone 4 is somewhat rare. This isn’t friend zone at all, but the woman is trying to pretend it is. This is when a woman you’re gaming and haven’t had sex with yet, but who is clearly sexually attracted to you, uses the âletâs just be friends” excuse simply as a temporary ASD excuse or shit test. With proper game and logistics, you can bust through that and have sex with her anyway (since it wasn’t ever friend zone to begin with).
Zones 2, 3, and 4 are not what Iâm discussing today. Those are more an issue of dating technique or relationship management. Today Iâm only talking about real friend zone, Zone 1.
How to Maybe Get Out of Friend Zone
Before I tell you a technique that might help you get out of friend zone, realize this: the odds of you ever getting out of friend zone, regardless of what you do, even if you do everything right, are very, very low. Once youâre in Zone 1 friend zone, youâre pretty much stuck there forever. Getting out of that classification in her mind is usually impossible.
Thatâs why it is sooooooo important to never allow yourself to get into friend zone in the first place. As I explained here, its better for a woman to be slightly mad at you while having sex with you than really like and approve of you while never having sex with you.
Guys in friend zone try to get liked, not laid. Thatâs not a good idea if youâre sexually attracted to her. Iâve had sex with numerous women, many of whom were very frustrated with me that I would not conform to their desires⦠but they were having sex with me, so I didnât care. This is while the friend zone guy is doing everything his platonic female friend wants, constantly getting a lot of attention and compliments from her, but never having sex with her.
Which guy would you rather be? Food for thought.
So Iâm about to tell you how to maybe get out of friend zone, but realize the odds of it working are low. You shouldnât have ever allowed yourself to get into friend zone in the first place.
The technique is very simple: completely vanish out of her life for an entire year. Thatâs right. Vanish. Ghost. Stop spending time with her, go completely radio silent, and ignore all contact from her. Ignore her texts, social media messages, etc. Ignore everything from her, for an entire year.