Letâs say you set up a profile, do a few blitzes, have five first dates, and eventually have sex with two of those five women. You carefully track your numbers during the entire time. Â
You go back through the numbers, do a little basic spreadsheet math, determine that you made 1100 swipes in order to nail down those five first dates. (Iâm making up these numbers. Donât take them literally.)Â Â
This means your âswipes per layâ average is 550, or 1100 swipes divided by the two times you had sex with new women.Â
If you want to nitpick the math (and, Jesus, I know some of you will), perhaps you could argue that the real number is not 550, but somewhere between 550 and 1100. Perhaps. The point is your magic number of swipes is well below 1100. For simplicityâs sake, Iâm going with 550. Â
This is exciting! Why? Because the next time you go online to find a new woman, all you have to do is do 550 swipes, and statistically speaking, youâll have sex. It means that all the flakes and non-responders now donât fucking matter at all. All you need to worry about is doing those 550 swipes regardless of the result.Â
Even better, that 550 amount assumes that you donât improve at all on your second go-round. Likely, the next time you do another swipe blitz, your online game will be a little better, having learned from the experience of the first blitz. Thus, your new magic number will likely be less than 550.Â
Attitudinally, it really helps to know this number. It takes the sting out of most of the rejection. You donât care who doesnât want to meet up with you; all you care about is getting out your 550 swipes.Â
This really, really helped me back in the days when I was hitting online dating hard. I always knew my magic number of openers I needed to send that would result in having sex with one new woman. Not responses, not dates, but sex. Â
Sure, I tracked those other numbers as well. Theyâre helpful too. But they arenât as important as the big one, the magic number!Â
You could argue that you canât make this determination based on one blitz alone, particularly if itâs your very first one. You could have gotten lucky. It happens. Iâve had amazing blitzes where I got laid left and right with just a few openers and on the very next blitz I had shitty results (though not zero; Iâve literally never had a blitz where I didnât have sex with someone new unless I was testing something new and strange).Â
This means that youâll need multiple blitzes to really nail down that number. But, again, that number should decrease over time as you get better at all of this. If it stays the same forever, youâre not doing this right. Youâre not modifying your approach, testing new techniques, testing photos for your profile, and so on. Youâre not doing all the things I did for so many years. Â
The fact that you have that number in your back pocket will make it more likely that you will test these things. If you have no idea what your numbers are (and most guys donât), then youâre just pissing in the wind. You have only a vague (and likely inaccurate) idea of what kind of effort you need to expend in order to bring a new woman into your sex life.Â
There are other numbers that I track in my dating life that have nothing to do with online dating such as the number of first dates I need to actually get to sex, the number of women I have sex with who end up in long-term relationships with me, how long they last before the first LSFNTE, and so on. So, this concept extends out to real life dating and relationship management as well.Â
Figure out that number. Then remember it. Then do it. Then improve it.Â
Your online dating will be so much simpler when you do.Â