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The Case for Mike Rowe for President

Captain Capitalism
October 14, 2016
It is no secret that I hold Mike Rowe in very high regard.  The man is an entrepreneur, an Eagle Scout, worked and still works a real job, and for what amount he's delved into politics, it has been (truthfully) addressing one of the largest problems facing the US - the education bubble.  So when you compare him to the two "best" schlepps the democrats and republicans managed to scrape from the baby boomer barrel this time around for a presidential election, there's just no competition.  Mike Rowe would make an infinitely better president than Clinton or Trump.

But before we get our hopes up of a charming, honest Mike Rowe announcing his presidential bid, there's just one minor problem.  And the problem is not Mike Rowe himself, but Americans.  Americans, frankly, don't deserve Mike Rowe.

As it stands right now, Trump and Clinton are so hated, even within their own parties, I contend any normal, honest person could walk right in and win the election.  With financial support form the Peter Thiels of the world, not to mention a GoFundMe account I'm sure would raise millions overnight, Mike Rowe could just walk in in the 11th hour with a clever marketing strategy and steal the election with a write in campaign.  But, ironically, that's the easy part.  It would be getting Mike Rowe to decide to run that's the hard part.

Think about what Mike Rowe or any normal person would have to give up.  Since he is normal that means he likely has a healthy family, normal life, and a job he enjoys.  He has his hobbies, interests, and friends.  His entire value and happiness is contingent on that life and all of that would go away over night if he decided to run for president.

Instead of working on another documentary like "How Booze Built America" he'd have to deal with the asswipes in congress trying to force some unwanted toxic piece of omnibus legislation into a term limits bill.

Instead of spending time with his dad, he'd have to deal with accusations of racism, sexism, bigotry, ageism, and whatever other "isms" Americans can create as he cuts social spending and tries to balance the budget.

The media would find, if not outright create, skeletons in his closet, ruining his life at home.

Not to mention his prominence would bring out 20 year old (likely false) accusations of rape or sexual assault a la Bill Cosby, Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, etc., running the risk of legal troubles.

And all for a paycheck that is likely not too much more than what he can muster working in film. 

The truth is only people who have nothing else in their lives can endure this baptism by fire because "getting elected into office" is the only thing in life they have.  Clinton (both Bill and Hillary) epitomize this with a broken family, a miserable home life, murder and rape accusations, and a machiavellian relationship that is designed for political advancement and not love.  I don't care how many millions they make in speeches, they'll never come close to what Mike Rowe and normal people have.  And that's just not worth risking on a presidential bid.

Ultimately it is the American public and a "fanning-the-flames" media who are to blame for the outright pathetic presidential candidates we have today.  In becoming an entitled and spoiled population, the American public get vehement if any politician dares to hold them up to adult standards of self-supportation and independence.  In separating the country by race and gender, any attempt to treat people as genuine equals and hold them up to equal standards begets accusations of racism, sexism, and any other form of "ism" professional victim whores can come up with.  And the media, with its abandonment of genuine journalism and its duty as the 4th branch of government, would prefer to get clicks and make money by shelling out yellow, if not outright, brown journalism, even if it ruins would-be honest politicians' personal lives (not to mention, the future of the country).

Joseph Maistre said it best when he said, "You get the government you deserve."

And Americans don't deserve Mike Rowe.

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