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Getting Past Anger

Donal Graeme
May 2, 2015

Deep Strength has an excellent post up today advising a reader on how to get past the “Anger Phase” of the “Red Pill.” The whole thing is worth reading, so I won’t quote selectively from it. Instead, I wanted to offer a few comments and some practical advice to his reader.

First, I would say that the anger phase is less dangerous than the “Bitter Phase” of the RP. The Bitter phase is what can really destroy a man, and I’ve seen it happen to a number of men who’ve found their way to these parts. Problem is, the Bitter Phase is the next phase after the Anger Phase if a man isn’t careful (a certain amount of bitterness is unavoidable, but the phase involves lingering and stewing in bitterness). Successfully managing the Anger Phase is key to avoiding that slip into bitterness.

Second, I think that anger has some value if channeled appropriately. A little righteous anger can go a long way. If you use it as a motivator and something to give you that initial kick towards self-improvement, then it can be quite helpful. Just don’t rely on it exclusively, or for long.

There were a few things that helped me get over the Anger Phase and not fall into the trap of the Bitter Phase. Here are a few of a more spiritual nature:

  • Pray, and pray often. Sometimes small prayers throughout the day can be that extra something you need to get by.
  • Read Scripture daily. I didn’t do that before, and do now. Also, I recommend reading and praying aloud a Psalm a day, and if you have time, two. One in the morning and one at night would work well.
  • Read up on the early Saints. Learn about their lives, and read their writings. This has really been profound for me. So much of what is going on now is a repeat of errors made long ago. St. Anthansius is an excellent source of inspiriation.

A few other bits of advice:

  • Work out. It will make you feel great as well as look great. It can improve confidence and give you a sense of control in your life.
  • Eat healthy. That fits with above, but you would be surprised what a difference healthy eating can make. It is another way of taking charge of your life in a positive way.
  • Socialize more. Most especially, talk to women. Where? Everywhere? When? Whenever you can. Losing your old, bad habits can only be done through trial and experience, and the fires of experience.

Another thing worth covering is performance and approval. My advice would be to stop caring what women think of you. Stop trying to perform for them. That doesn’t mean do the opposite of what they want, it means to stop considering whether they would approve or not. You need to adopt an attitude of ambivalence. When you actively try and perform for women, or seek their approval, you give them power over you. That will never end well. In fact, that advice applies to men as well- just stop seeking approval from others and instead do what you must.

You need to focus on other matters, and other concerns in your life. Build yourself up, both spiritually and temporally. If you work at this hard enough and long enough, you will find that they (women primarily, but men as well) cannot affect you any longer. Fascinatingly enough, the better you are at this, the more success you will actually see with women.

Hope that is of some help.

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Post Information
Title Getting Past Anger
Author Donal Graeme
Date May 2, 2015 2:00 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Blog Donal Graeme
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