How are you?
If you've REALLY followed the program, day-by-day, drill-by-drill, rep-by-rep and repeated however many days that you felt you could have done better- there is NO WAY IN HELL that you don't have LESS APPROACH ANXIETY than you when you started.
Like our weight loss stuff, it is physiologically (more specifically, cognitive and psychologically) impossible that you don't have less approach than 3+ weeks ago.
The amount of CONSISTENT exposure therapy you have gotten to the beginning processes of meeting women is probably more than you've gotten in your life.
If not, I don't want you taking days off, unless you are going out on a date or someone dies.
Sometimes that nighttime "squeeze" drill brings a lot of happy campers back to earth. Simply out alone will do that. If you didn't complete that drill (legitimately squeeze 10 girls on the arm and walk off), you need to be back on Day 21. Seriously, go back, you are going to see this type of thing again and it will be way too hard if you don't get at least the safety of knowing you went out alone and EXECUTED our drill.
This week is going to fun, fast-paced and you'll probably have some good stories. These are still considered 'Level 3' drills by myself, the guinea pigs and other losers that have contributed to the project. You did Level 3 drills last week, so I want you to kill it this week. Some are lower-level 4 drills, but they are basically like level 3's.
There will be some interesting challenges.
One thing that want you to see from this week is- you are COOLER than nearly all of these people you approach. Seriously. Them getting the chance to see you do some funny/wacky/creepy shit is the highlight of their week. They are an afterthought to you.
You are getting stronger.
The dominant attitude I want you to have this week is-
"I'm just gonna fuck with her."
It's been at least 3 weeks since you got your POF or OkCupid account.
How many girls have you been out with?
If the answer is NONE, there are 2 reasons-
For some guys- JUST ONE ONLINE DATE that goes well will be the difference between him hanging in there with a positive attitude and beating approach anxiety OR quitting an settling for a boring, sexless life of jerking off to videos other more confident, better-endowed guys enjoying pussy.
Yep, that's a scare tactic. But I have nothing to sell you.
Just please do yourself a favor and hit on 50+ girls online this week-
If you aren't getting many responses, show your profile in the Online Dating forum and we'll look at it.
Audios for Day 23-31. mp3/iPod compatible (.zip file)- Approach Anxiety Audios - Week 4.zip
Approach Anxiety Day 22 (Suspenders)
Hey Mr. Funny Man.
How you doing.
Today and for a lot of this week, you are going to get the chance to be a Mr. Funny Man.
You will get decent reactions because the majority of 18-30 yr. old girls have an okay sense of humor.
Remember, there's nothing "wrong" with being funny.
I'm super funny.
Funny. ha.ha.
Not funny. queer.
But seriously- being funny is okay. We just don't want you trying to be a fucking comedian.
Girls laugh at comedians, but they select sexy players to destroy their vaginas.
If you had to pick, I think you are more interested in being the #2 option.
The desire to "make her laugh a lot" is what I call "I hope she likes me" game where guys are encouraged and feel the need to entertain the girl.
It's all called Pick-Up-Artist-Never-Get-Any-Pussy-But-Make-Lots-Of-Girls-Laugh-Game.
So you are going to get the funny man out of your system this week, the purpose isn't to Get Laid, make the girl laugh, get any specific reaction- it is to EXECUTE the drill and gain exposure therapy in the process.
Don't have a shift in mindset just because it's Funny Man time. A lot of guys naturally will because their real "game" might have been Mr. Funny Man stuff.
These drills are only a test to see if you can EXECUTE.
Remember, the goal isn't "I want to make her laugh," it's -
"I'm just gonna fuck with her."
The "Hey," part is just how it looks. Say "Hey," and that's it.
If you noticed, by the 4th girl- you will say the word "suspenders" 3 times. It's a funny word.
Word-for-word this probably the longest drill thus far. You might want to write it down, put it in your phone, print it out. I'm going to say it on the audio too.
It's okay if you fuck it up a little bit.
Just remember- where do I get them, my mom says I look good, I lost weight and my pants fall down.
Audio Day 22 (31:05)
Here's me doing the drill-
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 23
(Sesame Street)
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
This one reminds me of the PUA community stuff.
Material that is playful, happy, harmless and nothing that a masculine guy would ever say.
It's funny none-the-less and if you backed up it with looking good and something physically aggressive stuff- it might work.
It's never the line that "works" though. It's your looks, style and social freedom.
The whole concept of "treat her like you little sister!" and she'll think that your an alpha guy was always a little puzzling to me. Girls don't usually suck their older brother's cock. No matter how hung he is. At least not in most states in the USA. Maybe it's different across the pond.
In my experience, those "playful" lines/personalities only appealed on cute, nice girls who were looking for a playful, safe boyfriends. Hot, sexy girls thought it was childish. I must have really looked out of my mind in 2008, when I was asking girls, "Who would make a better boyfriend? Donald Duck or Scrooge McDuck?!" (true story). Jesus Christ.
Be that as it may, you're going to act like a little boy today or at least ask little boy questions.
So enjoy it.
This drill is best done with the attitude of "okay.. now I'm gonna fuck with this girl."
Truth is- the emotionally healthy girls will response positively, even if they find it non-masculine. The basket case, depressed, boring, dumb girls won't, just like always.
Remember, we aren't looking for a good/bad/neutral reaction we only want to see that you can EXECUTE.
Now go find your way to Sesame Street you big, masculine, cool, hung, funny guy you!
... and remember- you are "just fucking with her."
You should have a good time today.
Audio Day 23 (20:00)
If you have a problem with compulsive masturbation check out: YourBrainRebalacned.com
(chances are if you've made it this far in the program- you don't have issues with it)
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 24 (Birthday)
Happy Birthday! What do you want, I'll ask you 3 times if I have to.
Be prepared for one of the more random days of the entire program. I've done this drill both at night and during the day.
Like all the other drills and interactions you'll have- the emotionally healthy girls will respond well and the psychos will respond poorly.
The boring ones usually say, "I don't know..."
The protective/loser ones usually say, "Have we met?"
The cool ones will say what they want. One day a super hot girl said "a big black dildo," no joke.
Some just won't get what's going on, which is understandable.
As much as you are tempted to try and fuck the girls that give the positive response or spit on the girls that give the negative responses and lecture the slow girls on what's going on- just LEAVE and move on to the next.
But you need to ask 3 times.
If after have 3 times, they still don't tell you what they want, leave.
For example-
What do you want for your birthday?
- Huh?
What do you want for your birthday?
- What do you mean?
What do you want for your birthday?
- What is this for?
[LEAVE]
Again- if you don't get an answer on the third try, walk away - your job is done.
This one can be fun. So have fun. Things get harder next week.
Keep in mind though- You are "just fucking with her."
I'd like you to approach girls that are rolling solo (by themselves), but since you are approaching 30 girls (in total) you might have to approach groups of girls. If you aren't scared, do that. It only counts as one approach however.
You're trying to pull an answer out of them. Insist on getting an answer to your question.
This is fun, over 30 girls you really see the numbers game in play.
Some are cool, some are not.
Audio Day 24 (21:32)
Here's me doing the drill-
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 25 (Lunchtime)
What's for lunch?
Doesn't matter the time of day you do this one. Morning, noon or night, it's all good.
You are going to ask the girl, "What's for lunch?" if she doesn't answer with a food, you need to ask her, "No seriously, what's for lunch?" if she doesn't answer with a food, you need to ask her, "No, for real, what's for lunch?"
If on the third time she doesn't answer, your reply should be- "Hey, I really need to know, what's for lunch?"
If you don't get an answer by the fourth time say- "I'm just messing with you." or "I'm just fuckin with you."
It's similar to the birthday drill but you should be a little more persistent about getting an answer. You really need to know, "What's for lunch." and you are going to ask 4 times with needbe.
Maybe you'll get your fucking answer, maybe not.
In the end, you are probably cooler than the girl you are talking to, so just remember- your "just fucking with her."
Until the girl answers your question with a food (or other acceptable answer) you should ask the following questions-
You're trying to pull an answer out of them. Insist on getting an answer to your question.
You'll get a lot of different responses to this question.
Rarely do people answer confidently after being asked just 1 time.
Sometimes people think they are being quizzed and want to get the 'right' answer.
Often you'll get a question in return, "You mean today?" "Oh where am I going?" "What do you mean?"
Any sort of question is an unacceptable answer. The answer to a question is not a question. Ask your question again. Perhaps they didn't hear you the first time.
Audio Day 25 (21:24)
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 26 (Arnold)
We are going to play a game.
Who's your daddy...
and what does he do...
If you don't find this funny or aren't familiar with this reference, this drill might be hard for you.
The lines are from the movie Kindergarten Cop, where Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Detective John Kimball, but also has to teach preschool too.
Watch this scene-
So that's what you are doing to do.
You're Detective John Kimball and you don't like getting interrupted. Make sure you go through the entire sequence, if she rudely interrupts start over from the beginning. You need to do it 3 times or until you get an answer that's not "what?" "huh?" "who is my daddy?" "what are you talking about?"
It's not a long sequence, so that shouldn't happen very often.
"Okay, we are going to play a game."
"It is called- WHO IS YOUR DADDY and WHAT DOES HE DO?"
"READY?"
[She can speak here]
"WHO IS YOUR DADDY and WHAT DOES HE DO?"
... you don't have to use the Arnold voice if you don't want. You can though. Whatever you want to do.
It's your world.
These squares are just living in it.
Remember- your "just fucking with her."
Go up to a girl and go through the following sequence, up to 3 times or until you get an answer, if she interrupts you, start over-
In a lot of cases you will go through the sequence 3 times because the girl will respond with a question, "huh?" "what?" "what is this?" etc.
All I'll say is- some love it, some are mortified and some don't get it. Just like usual. I guess I just told you.
Audio Day 26 (17:38)
Here's me doing the drill-
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 27
(Where's the Beach?)
This drill was inspired by one of the higher-end Los Angeles nightclub promoters I know.
He was once an introverted kid too.
When he started as a low-level street promoter at age 22, he literally was told that he had get 30+ girls to a certain nightclub on a certain night or he wouldn't be paid.
Pretty tough for a kid that had a fair amount of social anxiety to do with his approach anxiety.
There were definitely some nights when he didn't get paid because he didn't hit his quota. But rather than quitting or reporting the productions company to the Better Business Bureau, he stuck with it.
Eventually, through no special means other than exposure therapy, he overcame his anxiety and is currently consider one of the top promoters in Hollywood. Not bad for 26 years old. Needless to say, he has no trouble getting top-shelf pussy- every night.
The amount of women we've funneled each others way is ridiculous.
This is a drill that he would force himself and his buddy to do when was just getting started.
While the "I'm just fuckin with her," mentality isn't quite applicable here- this is a legit funny scenario. How often does this happen? If the person you do the drill on doesn't laugh or respond positively- chances are, they may suffer from a mental illness.
I remember one time at Venice Beach (ironic, right?) a girl yelled at my promo friend, "I hate you arrogant Hollywood douchebags!! Cocky asshole!! You don't impress me!" She thought he was being serious.
When you tap a girl on the shoulder, it doesn't matter if its from behind or she completely sees you when you do it.
For this drill- You may also approach groups of girls or guys and girls that are together. There should be plenty of people for you to interact with.
In some cases, while you are flexing the girl will leave. That doesn't give you permission to stop flexing. Keep flexing for the amount of time that you are supposed to.
Most people (including myself) found that this drill is hard ONE time, if at all. You just have to get past the first round of flexing.
It's particularly funny if you look like a bodybuilder/athlete, since those guys usually take themselves/life so seriously. Even if you have no muscle it's pretty funny.
Have fun.
Audio Day 27 (32:17)
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 28
(Nerd Glasses)
Hopefully it's just a temporary thing (it is, don't worry)- but "nerd glasses" are considered cool right now. (2013)
Regardless of how "in" or "cool" they are (they aren't), nerd glasses aren't masculine and the vast majority of glasses think they "do nothing" for a guy.
The nerdy look never had sex appeal and still doesn't.
If you hear a girl talking about how hot a certain guys who was wearing nerd glasses was- chances are, he's good looking and even better looking without them. It had nothing to do with the glasses.
Be that as it may, we are sending you looking for nerd glasses today.
When you tap a girl on the shoulder, it doesn't matter if its from behind or she completely sees you when you do it.
For this drill- You may also approach groups of girls or guys and girls that are together. There should be plenty of people for you to interact with.
Since we are slowing taking the training wheels off, I won't tell you what you can expect.
You probably have a good idea of how its going to go based on similar drills.
Audio Day 28 (27:09)
Here's me doing the drill-
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 29 (x2 High-Five)
You should be pretty familiar with how to get a girl to give you a high-five.
The easiest way is to hold up your hand and just say "High-five."
When they put up their hand you smack it.
This approach is much more proactive, faster and effective than asking a girl, "Would you mind giving me a high-five?"
Lead by example. Lead physically. You'll be doing the same thing in the bedroom.
Today your going to go get more high-fives- but use two hands. A double-high five.
This is harder and requires you to "Get In There" a little more so that the girl doesn't just give you a single high five.
There is a little bit of dialogue with it.
When you see a girl, to get her attention say or shout, "Super!" and then say "Super High-Five!" put up your hands for a DOUBLE HIGH-FIVE.
If you get the double-high five, say or shout, "Super!" once again.
You can do this in a gay voice or however you like.
You'll probably have a few that avoid you, no matter how "IN THERE" you get, that's fine- that's how all this stuff works. That never changes, if you look good- they are simply not available.
Remember- what is annoying to one person is persistent to another, it's just a manner of who is available and who is not.
Just continue until you grab 10 Super high-fives.
Audio Day 29 (32:53)
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 30 (Hit & Run)
To be done at a bar or club. Alone.
You've been out alone at least once time before.
About a week ago or more you went out, squeezed 10+ girls on the arm and dealt with the anxiety associated with being in a bar or nightclub alone.
I'm not expecting you to be used to it by any means, you are probably way more comfortable during the day.
Baby steps though. Right?
Tonight you are going to do the exact same thing that you did last week but with one slight add on.
After you squeeze the girl on the arm you are going to say, "nice" or "cute" and keep walking.
I don't even need to you to look at her and say it. But you still just gotta say it. It doesn't matter if she doesn't hear it that well.
This marks the beginning of the 'giving compliments' baby steps.
Today it's only one word in a loud environment, next week it will be more.
While being funny, fucking with people and making an ass out of yourself is good exposure therapy, there's a lot more to an interaction and other anxieties related to being more serious/down to earth that we'll have to slowly address.
Remember you have UNLIMITED TRIES. No one is keeping score. Just making sure you do the drill.
Audio Day 30 (23:04)
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
Approach Anxiety Day 31 (Reflect)
No Drills Today.
You have done about a month of drills.
Ideally, you've done several of the days over and been here about 45 days (not counting off days).
I remind you- the guys that get the most from this program are the guys that actually FINISH THE DRILLS and not the guys that just move along as quick as they can. If you feel that you could have done certain days better, you should do them a few more times before you move on to week 5- there's no "falling behind" but there is such thing as getting in too deep. We want you to have positive experiences, over-and-over and not negative ones.
Audio Day 31 (35:24)
If you were unable to do the drill or weren't happy with your performance (NOT the reactions you got) - feel free to repeat this day.
TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog Good Looking Loser.
Title | Approach Anxiety Program - Week 4 |
---|---|
Author | Good Looking Loser |
Date | March 24, 2013 12:00 AM UTC (11 years ago) |
Blog | Good Looking Loser |
Archive Link |
https://theredarchive.com/blog/Good-Looking-Loser/approach-anxiety-program-week-4.35251 https://theredarchive.com/blog/35251 |
Original Link | https://www.goodlookingloser.com/anxiety/program-index/approach-anxiety-program-week-4 |
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