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If you Improve Your "Value", Will You Get Laid Significantly More? (Not Exactly)

Good Looking Loser
September 16, 2013

Improve Your Life! Get Laid! (right?)
featuring: Danger&Play and Krauser

Mark (Forum ADMIN), Scotty and I have talked about this topic a lot.

If you Improve Your "Value", Will You Get Laid Significantly More?

This is interesting timing, the topic of "Self-Improvement = Get Laid," was one that I was going to cover in the past week until I got hit with an onslaught of Martial Arts discussions that I wanted to get up on the blog ASAP. The more people we have around here that can beat the shit out of people, the better. Martial Arts, arguably, is the opposite of "I Hope She Likes Me" Mainstream PUA.

Our new friends over at Danger & Play beat us to it, so I feel it appropriate to encourage you to check their write up on the subject-

D&P is actually responding to a tweet from Krauser-
(I had not seen Krauser's blog until 45 minutes ago, I still don't know a lot of these guys)


Basically he's saying that guys pour hours into lifestyle/self-improvement so they have a 'reasonable' excuse to not hit on girls.

Subconsciously, or even intentionally, guys will set "lifestyle" goals to avoid hitting on girls.

They tell themselves- after I accomplish [insert lifestyle goal] I will hit on women.

It's a form of approach anxiety.

First off-

I absolutely agree. I did that. For about 26 years.

Toward the end I knew it too and it made sick.

The issue resolved itself slowly when I ACTUALLY wanted to get pussy (put penis into vagina) and not get validation. I began to act completely different. Not just to girls, I cut off every single unhealthy/less-than-healthy relationship in my life. I was free, the people in my life would be their for all the right reasons.
(For more on that, click the link in the prior sentence)

Although I put such an emphasis on achievement and self-improvement, once I beat my approach anxiety and slowly left the Mr. Funny Man PUA stuff (and moved to the beach and later up the hill from 5 popular nightlife venues)- I started getting results.

Big time results- bringing home attractive girls almost more days/nights than not.

Just so we keep our brains organized, the concept of "value" or "status" falls into our category of "Swag Factor".

The fundamentals for a good sex life are-

  • Looks
  • Style
  • Social Freedom (and Killer Instinct)
  • Swag Factor (Social Skills and Status)

It can be simplified to the 3 S's-

  • Sex Appeal (Looks, Style)
  • Social Freedom
  • Status [perceived]

AND EXPERIENCE, of course.

We are shooting for ABOVE-AVERAGE in these categories.

If you TRULY have above-average SEX APPEAL, SOCIAL FREEDOM, STATUS- you will be light years ahead of most guys that have, at most- 1 of these going for them.

I thought Kauser's point was insightful, although I am well aware of how guys deflect their time and energy to avoid approaching women, Kauser brought full awareness to it in 131 characters on his Twitter.

Danger&Play didn't fundamentally disagree but he noted that-

"To take your game to the highest levels, you must spend considerable time building value."

To which- I also agree.

So we probably aren't in disagreement-

  1. A lot of guys intentionally work on themselves in order to not hit on girls. (Krauser)
  2. To take your game to the highest levels, you must spend considerable time building value. (D&P)


But wait...

It's actually not so cut and dry.

Not exactly. You succeed by having definitive, quantitative goals and working on them one at a time. Not exactly. You succeed by having definitive, quantitative goals and working on them one at a time.


Time to go into geek mode for a second.

There's two different types of "value".

This is an important distinction.

PERCEIVED VALUE is your "social" value. Or your SOCIAL STATUS. This is largely based on your appearance, assumptions people make about out and not on your actually accomplishments, achievements or lifestyle. You might be a loser but if you look like you are important, you'll be treated like that on first impression.

ABSOLUTE VALUE is your "actual" value. Or your REAL STATUS. This is based on EVERYTHING from appearance, to career, to intelligence, to sense of humor, financial status, education, lifestyle, etc. You can't completely fake this for too long.

When it comes to JUST GETTING LAID (especially the SAME day/night) and first impressions, PERCEIVED VALUE is what matters.

When it comes to relationships and keeping fuckbuddies, ABSOLUTE VALUE matters more.

Again- this is an important distinction, read it over if you need to.

More terrible generic self-improvement advice. Life whatever way you fucking way to live. My advice- Life whatever way you fucking way to live and stop caring what average people think.

Get Laid vs. Meeting Women

I make a point of telling everyone that Good Looking Loser is the "GET LAID" community and not a "Pickup Girls" or "Meet Women" (what does that even mean?) site.

A lot of people don't know what this means.

Stick around, you'll figure it out.

I didn't comprehend the difference back in 2008 when Scotty was trying to trying to explain it to me.

I was too busy trying to figure out how to- make her laugh, make her comfortable, make her see my value, make her not reject me, etc. SAFE GAME, as it's called.

Going forward- if you read other sources for "Dating," you really need to separate what advice is "GET LAID" advice and what advice is "MEET WOMEN" (dating) advice.

On this blog, unless noted- the advice IS and ALWAYS WILL BE is to GET LAID.

When you try to get busy with a hot blonde in a fucking gross janitor's closet at the mall, it's not about "meeting women" or "demonstrating higher value" so she'll let you meet her parents. I can be a fucking lowlife, that's why girls dig me.

The Difference Between Getting Laid Advice vs. Meeting Women Advice

It's not significant.

The truth is- your actual self-improvement resume, your accomplishments, your lifestyle, your 'identity' and your ABSOLUTE VALUE aren't significant factors in Getting Laid.

You just have to give the impression that you are "high value" - your appearance is your resume.

Your appearance, unless you have a specific/known status in a venue, is your resume.

When I moved to Los Angeles- I was considered "high-status" guy when I had no job, dropped out of Law School and was living off my parents. My appearance suggested I was "a somebody and not a nobody" or just cool in general. In-crowd. Though I was still playing PUA Wizard Monkey, girls gravitated toward me.

I was Good Looking Loser.

Arguably, it's better NOT to share your accomplishments, or at least certain ones that suggest your "relationship guy".

It sets off "boyfriend material" or "provider".

This is why I don't believe this one kid I know who. He is below-average looking, doesn't approach girls, doesn't dress "cool", was timid to remove his pants when we played strip poker (no homo- 5girls and 3guys) but claims gets laid a ton because he tells girls, "he's a doctor".


Even the dorky PUA students know that bragging about or discussing in-depth- your accomplishments/achievements doesn't make women horny. It makes them further profile you as boyfriend.

Girls that are DOWN TO FUCK don't give a shit about your resume, they are largely only judging your sex appeal. Much like guys, but with higher standards and some more criteria.

Plenty of Good Looking Losers (Deadbeats)

Scotty is the perfect example of this and he's even proud to say it.

For the better part of his "career", especially when he was smashing AA- Scotty did nothing but goto the gym, get "fucked up" afterward and try to have sex with girls. During the day, he drove a truck for his Dad's business.

He's never actively worked on his "fucking identity" and it never matter a bit. He laughs at the guys that take yoga or a cooking class (I did that, haha) to "improve their value".

Scotty, remember, has a significant amount of PERCEIVED VALUE- good looking, tattoos, edgy as fuck, muscular, etc.

Although I don't really know anyone like ScottyG - I do know at least 2 handful of guys in Los Angeles that would make Scotty look like Tony Robbins. They wake up at 5pm in their Hollywood apartments, only workout their biceps, have no job and are drunk by 10pm every night looking for a party/getting together with a new girl. In fact, my lifestyle resembled something like that in from 2009-2010, only I trained much harder in the gym.

But again, generally- good looking guys that have social skills and are REALLY COMFORTABLE in the scene.

I'm not suggesting that you guys see or use this blueprint as a recipe for success.

I'm just saying that-

Status/Value when it comes to getting laid is just an illusion.
Your sex appeal is your resume.


Getting Laid is all about PERCEIVED VALUE.

More awful generic self-improvement advice. I don't even have to explain why this one is bad.

How Significant is My "ABSOLUTE" VALUE?

ABSOLUTE (or actual) VALUE/status that goes beyond your perceived value (appearance) definitely matters more when it comes to keeping fuckbuddies around and having a successful committed relationship.
(check out the discussion on Retention, among the best articles on Good Looking Loser)

You have to have some 'boyfriend potential' to keep the majority of girls cumming back for more.

It's best to show them your 'boyfriend potential' in bits and pieces. Don't present yourself as 'boyfriend material'; it's completely different.
(see the retention article)

The fun challenge for them is to get you into a relationship if you are a player.

The HOTTEST, younger girls get OBSESSED with this challenge. You get to stretch their little pussies for weeks/months with your overgrown cock while they are busy playing their little game. It's quite fun for both parties, sometimes moreso for the girl, although she might be sore for the first month if her cooter can't adapt quickly.

Generally speaking-

Your ABSOLUTE VALUE (actual status) matters more to older girls (25-30), that are more often looking for a boyfriend and avoid guys that aren't attainable.

Your PERCEIVED VALUE (social status) matters more to younger girls (18-24), that are more often in party mode and will fuck a guy for months to "see where it goes". The hottest younger girls, especially, want to fuck the hottest guys.

Back to the original topic-

If you Improve Your "Value", Will You Get Laid Significantly More?

Not necessarily.

If the improvements are strictly to your resume (ABSOLUTE VALUE) and not to your appearance (PERCEIVED VALUE), any improvements that you see are probably from increased self-esteem that may help attract girls that are DTF.

The actual resume isn't doing that much here.

You don't have to be accomplished, well-rounded or even ambitious with your life to Get Laid on a given night.

She doesn't care if you graduated 14th out of 261 in your Law School class at Columbia University, she's probably never even heard of Columbia.

And guess what?

Even if she went to Columbia- unless you have a really masculine vibe (not boyfriend material vibe), you are one step closer to taking her on a date to talk about "Why a semester of 'Torts' was more interesting than a semester of Contracts" instead of taking her home and shoving your dick up so far up her that she feels it in she stomach.

You can be a total douchebag loser with nothing going for him and get laid plenty, it might be harder to keep the hotter girls around but it's not going to stop you from getting into their pants.

We needed to put this "value thing" in perspective. Hopefully we did.

You might have to look at yourself, if your goal is to GET LAID and you're already look cool- maybe it's time you GOT LAID (emphasize numbers game) instead of working on yourself.

On the flip-side, like D&P pointed out, if you are perceived as a reject or un-masculine  you need to address your PERCEIVED VALUE/appearance and stop mindlessly walking up to girls wondering what you are "doing wrong".

This might be the only "self-improvement" site in the universe that encourages [certain] guys to NOT work on themselves.

That's because the "dating" stuff on Good Looking Loser is about GETTING LAID.  Simply "improving yourself" doesn't necessarily translate into the ability to take girls home with you on the same night.

If you can do both at once, that's great. But don't underestimate how much pussy you can get or how socially free you can get if you devoted 100% of your time to hitting on girls.

There's only so many hours in the day.

You better know what your GOAL is.

You better know what "The Secret to Universe" is.

There might be some negative response to this post because a lot of guys think this website "should be all about self-improvement," it's not.

It's about results.

I'm going to tell you the most efficient and productive ways to Get Laid are rather than simply just encouraging your to "improve" yourself over-and-over-and-over. Unless you are 10 years old, you don't have a decade to 'work on yourself' and then go hit on women. If you are 10 years old, that wouldn't even be my advice to you anyway.


Somehow, there's been some confusion on what this post concludes. I'm not sure why, I don't think I can be any more clear.

I'll try to be though.

I'm not saying-


I'm saying-

A lot of guys hide behind only-somewhat-related self-improvement goals to avoid approaching women. (credit: Krauser)

There's a difference in PERCEIVED VALUE vs. ABSOLUTE VALUE.

You don't need a ton of ABSOLUTE VALUE to take a bunch of girls home on the same day or night.

You just need to have sex appeal (looks, style) and hit on women (social freedom).

And Ideally, have a place to take them within 5 or 10 minutes.

Certain guys (WHO WANT TO GET LAID MORE) actually need to work on themselves to become better, cooler men.

Other guys, who are already above-average, (WHO WANT TO GET LAID MORE) do not and they need to focus on playing the numbers game.

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Post Information
Title If you Improve Your "Value", Will You Get Laid Significantly More? (Not Exactly)
Author Good Looking Loser
Date September 16, 2013 12:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Blog Good Looking Loser
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