Oooh, we’re gettin’ ready        Ow!!!
Here we go      hahaha!!!!!
I’m ready     Oooh!!!

My vibe, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!

My vibe, RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!

Whats up guys! Welcome to another episode of rockstar life with me Nick “The Solution” Krauser. I just woke up at 2pm because of next door’s dog barking at the garbage collector truck, stoppnig my plan to sleep till three. As I lay in my bed I thought what would Axl Rose do?

Getting ready to rock
Getting ready to roll
I’m gonna turn up the heat
I’m gonna fire up the coal [1]

Rock-starring isn’t all cocaine-fuelled hotel-trashing parties with groupies you know [2]. Sometimes you have to put on your y-fronts, make some Weetabix, and sit on a chair watching Killroy. Tomorrow I plan to stay in bed until 3pm. YES MUTHAFUCKAS!!!! 3PM!!! I heard Gene Simmons would regularly rise after FOUR O’CLOCK the madman! That’s my goal.

Target LOCK!

Target LOCK!

I’m listening to AC/DC.

I’m a HEATSEEKER!!!!! BURNING UP THE TOWN! H-E-A-T-S-E-E-K-E-R!!!!   My state is so high and I DON’T NEED NO ONE TO HOSE ME DOWN

Right. Where was I? Right, the Weetabix is finished and I’m going to hit the TOWN. Right action means taking action that is RIGHT not WRONG. Because then it’s WRONG ACTION and you know who takes WRONG ACTION????

Chodes. That’s who.

Anyway, guys. I hope you found that lesson useful. Email me for ROCK STAR LIFESTYLE coaching so you too can live my life. Not my actual life – that would be weird. In fact, why would you want exactly my life? What’s fucking wrong with you, anyway? Are you the Talented Mr Shipley?

You gotta keep that woman firing
You gotta keep that serpent clean
You gotta make her sound the siren
You gotta hear that lady scream [3]

[1] – But not “burn the coal”, if you take my meaning.
[2] – which is just as well because I don’t seem to get invited to such parties right now. I need to increase my self-belief and freedom-of-intent to get those piling up.
[3] – Ironically after three hours of RIGHT ACTION in Covent Garden I made two little Portuguese tourists scream, and not in the good way.