Friday January 8, 2010 and I get dragged out by Burto and Tony T to Old Street. It’s cold, wet and dead but there’s some signs of life in Zigfrid so that’s where we go. Right away at the bar Burto opens HB6 Tall and her little Bulgarian friend. His attraction game is tight so she’s hooked quick but we slightly mess up the wing work. First he brings in Tony T to DHV him and she wants to learn salsa, but Tony is so funny making her do stupid childish dancing that it leaves Mick frozen out, losing value by the second. We realise the mistake and chat animatedly amongst ourselves so it looks like we have our own stuff going on. HB6 then comes up to me and tries to imitate my accent. Turns out she’s from some shithole English town:

HB6: Whey aye man! hahahaha

Krauser: Yes. Quite.

HB6: You are from Newcastle aren’t you?

Krauser: Yes. And you?

HB6: [shithole town]

Krauser: Oh, I’ve been to [shithole town]. *she leans in, interested* Worst five minutes of my life.

HB6: *genuinely offended* Wha….

Krauser: Yeah, I went to [nightclub name]. *smirk*

HB6: *laughs, smiles, attraction* Yeah!! I virtually grew up there…. *launches into story*

So I’ve accidently fucked up here, because I wasn’t trying to neg her so hard and wasn’t trying to build attraction. I was just trying to hold the line against her mocking my accent, which she was doing in a good-natured manner. So I bail as quickly as possible to leave Burto with the set. As Tony T comments later, girls only have so many “attraction points” to give out, so if we take some it leaves less for Burto. We move back along the bar. I open a pair of black chicks with an extremely disinterested over the shoulder posture and they hook, but they a fives at best. I try to make it up to Burto with the next round of drinks – I take his over while he’s in set with the HB6 and her tall blonde friend and say “Burto, here’s your drink mate. Do you want ice with that?” Ice is code for “isolation”. He says yes, meaning he wants me to fuck off out of the set so I go. Not before HB6 tries to rope me back in:

HB6: Whey aye man! Listen, how is this one? Byker Grooooove!! [kids TV show based in my hometown]

Krauser: Cool. Look, I’d love to judge your crappy impressions but I really have to get back to my friend

HB6: *grabbing me when I try to leave* Byker grooooooooove.

I eject, trying not to be rude. Honestly, it’s a no-win situation. If I stay, I steal some of Burto’s attraction. Even though there’s no danger of me getting the girl, there is a danger of me preventing him from getting her. If I go, I’ve just negged her and projected higher value and thus undermined him that way too. No-win situation.

Burto finally does a takeaway and comes to join is. I position us next to a three set of Polish girls and start asking Tony about his salsa. Mid-way through I lean over my shoulder and open the girls:

Krauser: Girls, just quick. Which is best – sexy salsa or professional salsa?

HB8 [target]: Sexy salsa! *smiles alot*

HB5 [her sister]: Professional salsa

HB5 [third girl]: Sexy salsa

Should have a better pic soon

I say thanks and go right back to talking to Tony, ignoring them completely. I can see them discussing us in my peripheral vision and within a minute the target re-opens me, asking why I asked. I root my opener saying Tony is a salsa teacher and he used to do a really smouldering sexy style when he’s leading the girl but now he’s trying something new and keeping things almost formal and technical, so I wondered which a girl prefers. I was phrasing it in NLP terms with sentences like “imagine you’re on the salsa dancefloor and we are partnered….. how do you feel when…..” Yes, I’m a horrible manipulative cunt.

HB8 is totally hooked and has this beautiful free and easy laugh. Her sister is more sour faced so I do the classic cold read routine of: “Oh, I see it now! You *points to target* are the naughty girl. You’re the one who likes to go out and meet people, do crazy things and have a great time. You *points to older sister* have to watch over her and make sure she doesn’t do something really dumb. I bet you’ve had to pull her out of all kinds of scrapes….”

This wins over the sister. By now my wings have moved in and I can mini-isolate the target by turning her back to the group, I’m running playful kino and adopting her as my kid sister. Classic stuff. We do a few takeaways too so as not to project too much interest. One nice piece is when a blonde HB6 walks past in a revealing toga-style top Tony just grabs her and escalates within about ten seconds. I make the same mistake with her as I did with Burto’s target:

Tony T: You’re a writer? Krauser here has written a few books

HB6: Really? *interested, leans in*

Krauser: Yeah, I used to [background] and I ended up doing a short story collection and a novel. Are you a proper writer, or just some weird blogger?

HB6: *likes the neg, starts qualifying*

This is turning out wrong so I’m looking at Tony hoping he’s going to come back in and save me, but he’s just watching. I find a way out and re-open the Polish girls. Then some gay dude comes over and rudely AMOGs Tony. It’s a hit and run which really can’t be defended because they are obviously good friends with the blonde. He just gets between them and pulls the toga girl away. She doesn’t want to go. Burto is our AMOG machine so he gives it ten minutes then brutally AMOGs the homo, and then again later. Tony gets the phone number. Of the girl, not the homo.

My Polish set drinks up by 11pm and heads off, but not before I easily number close my target and do the routine boobie-to-boobie hug. We soon try a new bar. I forget the name but we are in a normal lounge bar with wide open spaces and not many people in them. The only worthy set is three Aussie girls sitting inaccessibly in a booth. I approach, and damn I wish the cameras were rolling:

Krauser: Hey girls. What you doing right now?

3-set: We’re drinking wine… blah blah    *a “who the fuck are you” look*

Krauser: *brazens ahead* So what is the chances of you, you, and you *pointing* coming home with me *pointing* for a one…two….three…. foursome *holds up fingers*

3-set: *attraction, laughs* blah blah blah. *they’ve hooked, I sit down*

After five minutes I DHV Burto and Tony then bring them into set. We chat about half an hour then bounce them to a members club to a private room. I’m holding court with my DHV stories but for some reason I don’t work kino and the attraction seems to fade. Later on, Tony comments that I stayed in attraction too long and they got frazzled by the endless DHVs and cocky funny. I should’ve taken my target into comfort. She was really cute too. We exchange numbers and Facebook but the girls are only here for the weekend, being at Uni in Paris.

Aussie target

Humourously they try to contend that if I tried that opener in Sydney it wouldn’t work, and how it wouldn’t normally work on them. Girls, I’ve done it about 30 times and it’s only failed to open about three times. The next morning I start up the text game with the Polish girl. This is the banter over the course of a week, generally with a few hours between texts:

Krauser: You laugh weird!

HB8: Oh thanks, it’s good? x

Krauser: Yeah it’s good.

HB8: And you r very cool, you now???x

Krauser: We are at Last Days of Decadence now. It’s burlesque night. I think you’d like it.

HB8: Yes sound good :)))) Enjoy!x

Krauser: Hey! I’m gonna show you the best milkshake bar in London. Is 5pm ok for you?

HB8: Hey Krausie! That’s so sweet. and I need to work at 4 ð¦ Hope you good x

OK, so I put the Day 2 invite out and get knocked back without a counter-offer. That’s bad. I have to neg to recover the frame:

Krauser: I’m “Krausie” now?

HB8: Oh sorry in English Krauser??? it’s ok? x

Krauser: I’m just messing with you, [HB nickname] ð

HB8: You messing with me Krausie???x

Krauser: I enjoy it HB nickname! Don’t work too hard   [OK, I admit it, this message was beta]

HB8: Krausie yo r so nouty :)))) Have a nice evening x

Krauser: I had a snowball fight outside work. I love winter!

HB8: Krausie I now a lot of fun :))))) So cold as well.. Xxx

Krauser: I thought you ex-communists liked the cold… ð Have you been taking photos in the snow {she’s a photography student]

Krauser: We are going to [cool club] tomorrow. Great bar/club. Come join us. Free before 11pm on guest list. Shall I add you?

HB8: Hi Krausie! How is your day?? Thank you for invitation but I’m working until midnight and later maby shrodich on my way home.. xxxxxxxx

HB8 [3am on Saturday night]: We r in 54, you. X

Krauser [two days later]: Still clubbing at 3am? Naughty girl. And I thought you were a nice girl….

Krauser: I’ll add you to Facebook. What’s the best way to search it – email?

HB8:  Hi Krausie! Ok so that’s my email [redacted].com :)))))) Have a good day ð x

Burto reckons the 3am text was probably a booty call but I didn’t pick it up till lunchtime the next day so I figured I might as well leave it longer still to reply. On the plus side, while she was out partying at least I had a good night’s sleep after finally completing Codemaster’s FUEL game on my PS3………

** QUALITY CONTROL UPDATE ** This post was written while I was waiting for HB8 Polish to accept the Facebook invite and thus the only pic I had was from her profile. I assumed this was a bad photo because she looked so much hotter in the bar. Alas, no. It has now come to my attention that what I thought was a mid-twenties HB8 is actually a 30 year old girl of somewhat lesser beauty. Consultation of my methodology requires this girl to remain an HB8 in the description (as this is what I thought upon initially gaming her) but she’s more like a HB6, perhaps a HB7 if you factor in her lovely feminine manner.

This is why I prefer day game. What I viewed as an LTR contender is now a fuck buddy at best. Bah.