Here’s one of the Facebook chats I had a few days ago while sipping a whiskey in the Hemingway Suite with JJ. I decided to channel him and just talk about food while insulting this Italian bird. Just for the lulz. I noticed she’d changed her profile picture.
.
Me: you look like a dorky little girl in your new photo
Her: hahaha any problem? [she changes it] better? haha
Me: No. It looks like you put a broom on your head I don’t like you anymore I won’t have sex with you
Her: hahahaha ok ill look for another one D xD [she changes it to a full body shot]
Me: oh god, that’s even worse you look like a hooker
Her: hahahaha ok so ill be back to this one [changes it back]
Me: I’ll suggest one
Her: thats for u? but you dont have hair
Me: actually I just thought of the perfect picture she looks like you, has the same hair, similar fashion and equally cool
Her: hahhahaha i dnt wear glasses
Me: I’m bored. I might keep insulting you and then eat some sausages I love sausages I’m eating salami now Sainsbury’s Basic. £1.19 for150g thin sliced mmmmmmmmm
Her: pfff im eating rissotto
Me: I don’t like rissotto I don’t like your rissotto
Her: pff better for you cuz i wont cook it for you
Me: and I’m not dumb enough to eat it I’d be sick you can’t try to bribe your way into my bed with your crappy cooking
Her: dont worry for that
Me: You scare me. If I look out my window now, I’ll probably see you crouched under a bush in my garden, using my wifi for your laptop
Her: hahaha whaaaat
Me: I heard that. My window is open
Her: close it i can be so dangerous
Me: Yes dangerous like a rabbit or a koala or a hamster
Her: hahaahaha i prefer the koala i live them] love them
Me: I prefer koalas to you they have better legs
Her: i prefer them to you as well for lots of reasons
Me: If I was a koala I’d bite you eat the food in your kitchen and shit on your floor
Her: hahaha i would send you to the zoo then and i would go to see you and throw you things but not food roks and rubbish for example
Me: I’d throw my shit at you and laugh
Her: i would say to the owners of the zoo to sacrify you cuz u are ill and you could infect the other animals and they’ll believe me
Me: I’d give you AIDS koala rape
Her: you won’t have tim you would be sacrified before
Me: I don’t like you anymore you are mean to animals
Her: hahaha no i’m mean to you well…there is no big difference at all
Me: I’m gonna get the koala army to attack you
Her: ok i’ll be waiting for that
