I’d like to thank everyone who replied. And gently chastise everyone who did not.
With your help I’ve come to the following conclusions:
1) Thinking is a social affair. I need feedback as well as inspiration from others. My personal judgment is not at all personal – it’s intimately tied up within the community that I associate with.
2) I will not post the private communications. Privacy is implicit in sms communications, and is a type of social contract. This is in contradiction to number 1. People actually do need to break privacy rules sometimes. Usually this is done one one one, with “shared secrets” to a few close confidants. That’s both socially acceptable and a social contract break – it’s a grey line that is accepted as irritating but perfectly normal. I was not sure if this blog could be the grey line – if public and private could and should be blurred. That can’t be my decision – that’s a social community mores decision. I needed feedback to know that, and to know what the current social community standards are. I really didn’t know.
Aside: I’d like to remind my readers that I live in SEA, and at times have no Western friends, and this blog and other forums can be my only means of Western community social contact. I sometimes am forced to constrain all friendly communications through these limited means. There are not always any close confidants – this blog can sometimes be my community of confidants.
I could add that although I’ve been dating Asians exclusively for maybe 15 years, I’ve never had one dream of meeting a new Asian girl. Most nights I dream of meeting blonds romantically. I’m a Westerner. We are Westerners. The cultures and peoples are vastly different, and you never grow out of that, never assimilate, and never truly adjust. You just figure out how to adapt.
3) My motivation to show the messages was to prove that I do indeed have a right to the work that he refuses to give me. The issue of how insulting I was in that one nights blast of messages is actually a total red herring – a dissimulation – a distraction and a sidetrack. How insulting I was has nothing to with the issue of the work.
I was genuine in my quest for feedback, and the readers gave helpful comments. It worked. Thanks to all.
