“Be yourself and be upfront about your expectations and desires.”- Mike Posner
The difference between a man-to-woman interaction and a friend-to-friend interaction can be felt in terms of how much tension is in the interaction.
Tension is created through factors like strong eye contact, physicality, and sexual intent.
Note that too much tension can make a girl uncomfortable, but too little can make her comfortable to the point of boredom (leading to the friend-zone). You’ll want to hit the sweet spot where the interaction is exciting for the girl, but not so tense that it’s uncomfortable.
Some guys do create too much tension, but most don’t create nearly enough, and this is what gets them a pleasant, “nice to meet you,” followed by a pat on the back. In this article, you’re going to learn how to implement three simple (but powerful), techniques to add tension to your interactions with women.
“There is no moment that exceeds in beauty that moment when one looks at a woman and finds that she is looking at you in the same way that you are looking at her.”– Eric Kripke
If a guy and girl are just friends, sure, they’ll make eye contact. But it’s going to be polite, friendly, eye contact. A simple way to create tension is to make strong, persistent eye contact.
The power of eye contact cannot be overstated. In fact, Famed evolutionary psychologist David Buss writes in his book, Why Women Have Sex, “In one study, forty-eight women and men came to a lab and were asked to stare into each other’s eyes while talking. The effect of mutual gaze proved powerful. Many reported that deep eye contact with an opposite-sex stranger created feelings of intense love. Another study had strangers to stare into each other’s eyes for four minutes— without breaking eye contact or making any conversation. Participants again reported deep attraction to their study partners. Two of these total strangers even ended up getting married!”
To make strong eye contact without being creepy, you can look into a girl’s eyes until she looks away. Once she looks away, look away yourself. To be clear, this isn’t a hard rule, for example, if a girl makes nervous, darty, eye contact, it doesn’t mean you should do the same. However, in general, the above strategy a good way to make sure your eye contact isn’t too ‘safe’, and to ensure that you’re creating some tension with your eye contact.
If you notice your eye contact isn’t as strong as you’d like it to be, you can use a simple exercise that helped me improve the consistency of my own eye contact. It may feel awkward to do, but it works.
Get in front of a mirror and stare at yourself for two minutes without pause. I get it, it’s weird, but it’s a great way for you to build your ‘eye contact muscle’. As you practice this, you’ll become increasingly comfortable with holding persistent eye contact.
You can also improve your eye contact in your day-to-day life. Any time you’re in public, practice your eye contact by attempting to meet the gaze of any women in the area. Look towards their eyes until they look back, and hold eye contact with them until they look away. Make sure to do so with a slight smile, and if a woman doesn’t return your gaze after a few seconds, look away (don’t stare at her).
Over the course of a few weeks, you will automatically make notably stronger eye contact with women than before practicing these exercises.
“Sometimes, reaching out and taking someone’s hand is the beginning of a journey.”-Vera Nazarian
Obviously, an interaction with a woman can’t lead to sex without physicality. Unless you know how to have psychic sex, you’re going to have to touch her eventually. Touch creates sexual tension, and is something that a guy who’s falsely presenting himself as a friend will be very hesitant with.
Context is important regarding physicality. If you’re in a mall during the day, walking up to a girl and grabbing her to dance with her could be perceived as assault, whereas the same action in a nightclub would be totally normal. You should be able to navigate what’s appropriate using basic common sense.
Generally, your physicality should be relatively mild and non-invasive at first, and overtime it can become increasingly intimate. The best place to touch a girl at first is anywhere between her wrist and shoulder.
Your main goal when initiating physicality shouldn’t be to ‘execute’ it perfectly, but just to be physical at all. Learning specific methods for how to be physical is useless, you can only learn this from real-life feedback. Effective physicality will come naturally to you as you practice it and is based on an intuitive understanding, not logical rules.
You will be able to feel when a girl is uncomfortable with your touch, and you will be able to feel when a girl is receptive to your touch. As you get both of these types of feedback, you will develop a sense of how to touch a girl and when to do so. This is something you will learn over time, and yes, it will probably be awkward at first if you’re not used to initiating physicality with girls you’ve just met. This awkwardness can’t be avoided, it’s a necessary part of the learning process.
As you practice this, you’ll find that a lot of girls are receptive to your touch when you thought they wouldn’t be. You may learn that you were missing a lot of opportunities with girls because you were being too hesitant with physicality. The only way you’re going to find out if a girl wants to escalate things physically with you is to initiate physicality.
Chances are, you’re playing it too safe with physicality, especially if you ever find that your interactions peter out or feel like they are friend-to-friend.
I practiced making statements of intent as training wheels to get comfortable with letting girls know I was interested in them. I had a fear that women would make fun of me or tease me for letting them know I was attracted to them.
(This one of those fears guys don’t admit to themselves they have, you can find out whether you’re affected by this by challenging yourself to make some statements of intent. If it’s easy for you, you’re good to go. If not, this is an area that you may need to work on.)
Women have a desire to be desired, and can, in fact, get turned on when a guy shows sexual interest in them. Conversely, when a guy hides the fact that he’s interested, he makes himself uncomfortable because of what’s known as persona fatigue (he’s putting on the persona of a friend), and thus she becomes uncomfortable too. (Emotions spread between people, psychologists call this emotional contagion).
Statements of intent are a great way to make it clear that you’re sexually interested in a girl. You can use these statements as a training wheel to get comfortable showing sexual intent, which is incredibly important.
Statements of intent are phrases that directly indicate your sexual interest in a woman. They can be as simple as, “You know, you’re really cute.” You can make bolder statements, but the principle is the same with any statement of intent.
These statements can be effective on their own because they create tension and make your intentions clear. However, sometimes they can create too much tension. If you notice a girl gets uncomfortable after a statement of intent, that’s fine. Remember, you learn most by going too far, it’s like practicing shooting in basketball. If your shots are consistently too long, you take note and adjust appropriately. In dating, if you make girls uncomfortable by pushing too much, you learn to adjust and tone it back.
Importantly, making a girl a bit uncomfortable doesn’t mean the interaction is over, it just means you need to pull back and reduce the tension. I often do this by literally creating a bit more physical space between me and the girl (I take a step back). This shows her that I’m not a sociopath with no empathy, and that although I’m interested in her, I can take no for an answer without getting butthurt.
I don’t use statements of intent often anymore, they were training wheels that helped me get comfortable with showing sexual interest. Now that I’ve practiced statements of intent enough, I can show intent without having to say anything- this is the ultimate goal, and using ‘lines’ are just a way to reach a point where you naturally show intent.
Practicing these three simple techniques will teach you how to be man-to-woman so that your interactions consistently have an element of sexual tension to them. These are all subtle ways to show assertiveness, even dominance, without needing to be an asshole.
Truthfully, as you become better at adding sexual tension to your interactions, you might get rejected more often- some girls just won’t be interested in you sexually. This might seem like a bad thing, but it’s better to get rejected than to never know what might have happened. I don’t regret the times when I got rejected, I only regret the times when I didn’t have the balls to put myself out there and risk rejection.
This article was a segment from the full-length book, The Seduction Blueprint.
TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog Red Pill Theory.
|Title||Attract Women With Dominance Part 3- How To Be Man To Woman|
|Date||September 28, 2017 7:24 PM UTC (5 years ago)|
|Blog||Red Pill Theory|
© TheRedArchive 2022. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter