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Change Your Thinking To Get Laid (Yes, Really)

November 26, 2019

The following is a free excerpt from my upcoming online course: The Five Pillars of Success With Women

Our thoughts create emotions; our emotions lead to action.

For instance, if you think, “Hot girls are stuck-up and annoying.” Then, when you’re talking to a hot girl, you will feel negative and judgmental towards her.

Thus, everything you say and do will have a hint of negative energy to it.

And, having this negative belief, are you going to ask this hot girl out? Of course not.

Are you going to express yourself in a way that is fun and sexual? Of course not.

After this interaction, you would tell yourself, “She was so stuck-up and annoying.”

And it’s true, she was, but only because you were cold and judgemental towards her.

Let’s take another example. If you think, “I doubt this whole game thing works, it’s really about your looks, money, and status. If I were a nine or a 10, every girl I approached would love me.”

That thought is going to create negative emotions. When you see an attractive woman, you probably won’t want to approach her; you’ll feel resistance because you believe that she’s just going to reject you.

By default, your thoughts are going to keep you in place – they will lead you to continue getting the same results you’ve been getting.

Fortunately, your thoughts can be changed, and when they change, your emotions will change, too. Once your feelings change, your behavior will automatically follow suit.

You can change all three of these directly (your thoughts, emotions, and behavior).

Just know that, of the three, your thoughts are the easiest to change. It is possible to influence your feelings, but only to a limited extent.

Think of anxiety, for example, when you’re feeling the emotion of anxiety, the harder you try to get rid of that anxiety, the more anxiety you will experience.

However, if you’re experiencing anxiety, and you change your thoughts, you can reduce the anxiety.

Behavior is also challenging to directly change because our mind evolved with an inherent desire to avoid expending effort. We are designed to keep doing the same routine actions and only to change them in dire circumstances.

That’s why the average American gets fat from eating fast food, uses their smartphone 3hrs per day, and watches 4hrs of TV per day; these behaviors take no effort and allow us to settle into a comfortable pattern.

Anything that takes effort will involve resistance.

Working out, deciding to start a business, or approaching women is difficult because we have a strong resistance towards changing our behaviors. Our mind wants us to conserve our energy as much as possible, and just deciding you’re going to make a change often isn’t enough.

There’s a reason that 92% of people who set new year’s resolutions end up failing.

Now, you cannot entirely avoid this resistance to change. Going out and approaching women will be stressful at times, there will be days when you don’t want to leave the house.

Discipline is a necessary component to making any change; you must have the mindset that you will do whatever it takes. You must be willing to deal with negative emotions to reach your goal.

However, you can minimize the emotional resistance you experience towards self-improvement by changing your thoughts.

And this not only applies to motivation for taking action as well as to seeing the positive: you can change your assumptions from, “She will probably just reject me.” To, “She wants me to approach her.”

So, in the following section, you are going to learn four strategies to improve your mindset by changing your thoughts.

As your mindset changes, your results will improve; this will cause your mindset to become even more positive, which will then lead to better outcomes. This will become an upward spiral.

There is one significant danger you must be aware of when it comes to mindset work. Changing your mindset should never replace action taking in the real world.

If it’s 10 PM on a Saturday, and you think, “I don’t feel like going out, so I’m going to stay in and visualize.” Well, you’re missing the point of mindset work. Do not use changing your mindset as an avoidance strategy.

Doing so will inevitably turn into mental masturbation. Think of mindset work as a supplement. For instance, creatine can help you gain more muscle from your workouts, but if you take creatine without working out, you won’t make any improvements.

With that said, your mindset is the foundation everything else is built on. With a bad mindset, every action you take can feel like a failure.

If every time you go out and approach women, you go back home only to think, “This can’t work for me, I kept getting rejected because I’m not good looking enough.” Then, you will get caught on a downward spiral in which taking action feels like a form of self-punishment, and if you get stuck on this pattern for too long, you’ll eventually quit trying to improve.

Even if your mindset is extremely negative right now, you can change it, and as this happens, everything will start to click.

But if you neglect your mindset, it’s easy to get pulled into the gravity of your negative beliefs, and to unknowingly prevent yourself from getting the results you want. Your mindset can either act as a prison that holds you in place, or it can be a key that opens the door to progress.

I’ve identified four key strategies for changing your mindset from holding you back, to pushing you forward towards your goals:

1: Visualization

Visualization is a polarizing topic.

Some people see visualization as an almost magic tool for personal transformation.

Many celebrities and athletes claim that visualization was key to their success: this list includes Will Smith, Connor McGregor, Jim Carey, Michael Phelps, Oprah Winfrey, and many others.

Others see visualization as the ultimate form of mental masturbation. To these skeptics, the idea that imagining the future you want can help ‘manifest’ it into reality is nothing short of vomit-inducing.

For most of my life, I counted myself among the skeptics; visualization seemed like one of the stupidest ideas I’d ever come across.

Despite this, I was curious enough to experiment with different visualization tactics, and although my results weren’t magical, I did notice visualization had profoundly positive effects.

To understand why visualization is so powerful, imagine you were to visualize yourself eating Cherry Garcia ice cream.

What would happen

Your mouth would probably start to water.

If you were to repeatedly imagine yourself enjoying ice cream, your desire to actually go out and buy a pint would increase until eventually, you felt an irresistible magnetic pull towards getting some Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

See, I don’t believe that visualization allows you to commune with the universe in some metaphysical way.

Instead, visualization is useful for a much more grounded, psychological reason: when you visualize something, you want it more, and when you want something badly enough, you’re willing to fight for it.

So, in regards to success with women, if you imagine yourself going out, having a great time, and getting the results you want, you will inspire a craving to make those thoughts become a reality.

The more you associate the idea of going out and meeting women with positive emotions and successes, the more you will experience an unconscious desire to go out and take bold actions.

I recommend you take five minutes per day to imagine yourself going to bars, clubs, a college campus (or wherever has the most opportunities for you.

Here are a few things you might imagine:

  • See yourself approachng women.
  • See girl’s faces lighting up and responding well.
  • Imagine that the girls you approach are asking you for your number.
  • See yourself bringing beautiful women home within an hour of meeting them.
    Imagine yourself going on dates with the women you approach and having fun on those dates.

Ultimately, visualization is a personal exercise, so visualize whatever inspires you. The best rule-of-thumb is to fantasize about your ideal outcomes, to see what the reality you want to come to pass looks like and feels like.

This exercise will change your mindset in subtle yet powerful ways. The human mind cannot accurately distinguish the difference between an imagined event and a real event.

Thus, when you visualize yourself going out and getting great reactions from women, your subconscious mind will start to believe that you are genuinely getting those responses.

And if you’re getting such positive reactions from women, there’s no reason to stay at home on Friday.

Furthermore, because visualization will start to give you positive expectations, your behavior will change to reflect those new beliefs.

When you expect the girls you approach will like you, you’ll be more carefree, positive, and confidence – this will make it more likely that you will get the positive reactions you imagined.

Visualization will not only improve your motivation to take action, but it will also increase the likelihood that when you go out, you will have fun and get better reactions from women.

That was a free segment from my upcoming course, The Five Pillars of Success With Women. If you want to learn the other three strategies for improving your mindset, check out this page:

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Post Information
Title Change Your Thinking To Get Laid (Yes, Really)
Author Avery
Date November 26, 2019 8:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Blog Red Pill Theory
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