Do Looks Matter? (The Attractiveness Threshold Theory)

Itâs well known that men often rate women on a 1-10 scale of attractiveness. It doesnât get talked about as much, but men rate themselves on a similar scale – we might see ourselves as a 5 or a 7, and we think that any girl whoâs more attractive than us is âout of our leagueâ.

But it actually doesnât matter whether a girl sees you as a 6 or a 10, all that matters is that she sees you as a 1 instead of a 0. Attraction is best thought of as binary – a girl either feels it or she doesnât. Sure, if a woman thinks youâre the most attractive man sheâs ever seen, thatâs great, but as long she is attracted to you at all, you can make something happen with her.

This is important because men often tell themselves theyâre not good enough, especially for the most beautiful women. But you donât need to be a perfect 10, as long as a girl sees you as above the threshold for attractive, thatâs good enough.

Yes, when a girl is talking to a male model she might think heâs amazingly good looking. Itâs easy to see a girl talking to a guy like that and to wonder how you could possibly compete. But when a girlâs in front of you, sheâs not comparing you to the best looking guys sheâs ever met, sheâs either feels that youâre attractive, or doesnât. When youâre in an interaction with a woman, everyone else disappears and stops being a relevant factor.

We all have a fantasy of what our dream girl looks like. But do we reject every woman who doesnât meet that standard?

Of course not, although youâve been attracted to âperfect 10s,â Iâm sure youâve also liked 9âs, 8âs, and 7âs. Attraction is an emotional experience more than a logical experience – and the women who give you that experience arenât always going to be what you logically think you want.

Women also have a fantasy of what their ideal guy looks like, but that doesnât mean they will only sleep with or dates guys who meet that standard – theyâll sleep with guys who they experience attraction for.

Furthermore, attraction is partly objective, but itâs also partly subjective. Generally, being taller, being in better shape, having a strong jawline, etc. are attractive traits, but every woman has her own unique perferences.

Iâve met beautiful white girls who rejected me and went home with my short Asian friend because he was their type. Some women love beards, others think their gross. Some girls like muscular guys, others prefer skinny guys, and some only like fat guys.

Wrapping Up Do Looks Matter? (The Attractiveness Threshold Theory)

Yes, a stereotypically attractive guy will have an advantage over someone who is short and fat, but those qualities arenât going to make you unattractive to all women, everyone is different.

Iâve met guys who are both socially awkward and physically unattractive by societyâs standards who consistently dated beautiful women. They did get rejected a lot more than someone who was better looking and charismatic would have, but by playing the numbers game in their favor, these awkward men got better results than most guys who are physically attractive and socially charming.

Even if only 10% of the women you meet find you attractive, you can have a great dating life if you take enough action. As your mastery of the fundamentals of game improves, the percentage of women who like you will increase. But even if your game is flawless, a lot of women just wonât find you attractive. And at the same time, even if your looks and social skills are lacking, the percentage of women who like you wonât be 0.

You might be a 5 out of 10 by societyâs standards, but thatâs not what matters, what matters is that on a 0-1 scale, some beautiful women will find you attractive.