How To Approach A Girl In A Club (And Bring Her Home With You)

Clubs suck. Theyâre unbearably loud, half the people are trashed, and the women get approached by so many creepy guys that theyâre going to assume you’re another creep until you prove otherwise.

Despite all this, beautiful women congregate in clubs by the thousands in any decent-sized city.

Clubs might suck, but if you want to hook up with a hot girl the same night you met her, thereâs no better place to do so than a nightclub.

Do you want to sleep with the kind of girls that most guys only fantasize about? Yes? Then itâs in your best interest to learn how to successfully approach a girl in a club.

How To Approach A Girl In A Club Step 1

Clubs Are An Emotional Environment, Not A Logical Environment

 

Women go to clubs to have fun: if talking to you isnât fun, youâre going to get rejected.

If most of the girls you approach say something to the effect of, âI have to use the bathroom,â or, âI have  to find my friends,â what theyâre really communicating to you is, âTalking to you isnât fun, Iâm out.â

If youâre not having fun, no âpickup lineâ will make a girl like you. But if you are having fun, you can make almost line work. Take for example a few of the crazier pickup lines Iâve successfully used:

Me: âAre you from Tennessee?â

Her: âWhy, because Iâm the only ten you see?â

Me: âNo, because you look like a child of incest.â

(She asked me for my number five minutes later).

Me: âDid it hurt?â

Her: âWhat, when I fell from heaven?â

Me: âNo, when you fell and broke your face.â

Her: âYouâre such an asshole!â (while laughing)

Me: âYouâre hideous.â

Her: âbursts out in laughterâ

(this only worked because she was extremely hot.)

Now, I donât recommend calling a girl hideous or implying that she looks like a child of incest. However, the fact that absurd lines like those can work illustrates an important point: what you say doesnât matter nearly as much as how you say it.

You can get away with just about any line if you say it in the spirit of fun. At the same time, even the best lines will get you rejected if you say them with even a hint of neediness.

To make sure you approach in a way that adds to the fun, ask yourself this simple question before you approach, âHow can I make her night better?â
Asking this question will remind you that youâre approaching to offer value, not to get something from the girl. And if you approach to make her night better, thereâs a significantly higher chance that sheâll respond to you positively.

If youâre thinking, âThatâs cool, but what line should I use?â You can open with pretty much anything, but if you want a go-to opener, use this, âHey, I like your style and I had to introduce myself.â

The above line is good because it starts the conversation on a positive note in a way that compliments her but not so overtly that you give away some of your power.

How To Approach A Girl In A Club Step 2

Make Her Feel Strong Emotions

Once youâve started a conversation, how do you prevent the interaction from turning into a job interview? By inciting strong emotions.

An interview-style interaction is logical, it doesnât go much deeper than:

âWhat do you do?â

âWhere are you from?â

 

Flirting, in contrast, is emotional: itâs about creating and releasing tension. Flirting, at its core is push-pull, hot-cold, or positive-negative.
The mixture of hot and cold creates uncertainty. It makes the girl wonder, âDoes he really like me or is he just talking to me to kill time?â This uncertainty is exciting for the girl, and if you do it well, it can make her feel sexual arousal.

Things that are âhotâ (or positive) include:

• Holding strong eye-contact.
• Complimenting her.
• Approving of something she says, âYouâre a nurse? Thatâs awesome.â
• Getting in close physical proximity to her.
• Touching her.
• Smiling/laughing.
• Actively listening to what she says.

Things that that are âcoldâ (or negative) include:

• Teasing her: âYouâre smart for a California girlâ (can substitute any state)
• Disqualifying her (Youâre like the sister I never had, letâs climb trees and drink kool-aid!)
• Taking a step back to create physical space.
• Avoiding eye contact.
• Saying you have to leave soon.
• Taking away physical touch.
• Interrupting what she says.
• Disagreeing with her.

If youâre too âhotâ (positive), the girl will feel like she has complete power over you: sheâll think that you would sleep with her no matter what she said. Being overly available implies you must not have much value.

If youâre too âcoldâ (negative), the girl will feel you donât like her as a person. As such, she wonât enjoy interacting with you – so sheâll leave.

The power of hot and cold lies in finding the right balance. Each girl is different: some prefer a mostly hot interaction, others prefer a mostly cold interaction.

However, on average Iâd say the best balance is about 80% hot and 20% cold. Overall, the interaction is positive, but youâre using some âcoldâ to create a sense of challenge and intrigue.

Of course, your conversation canât be all âhot and coldâ, you do need to structure the conversation around something.

The easiest way to do this is to memorize a few basic questions that you can ask every girl you approach. These questions arenât inherently fascinating, but you can use them as a foundation to build your conversations from.

Hereâs some examples of questions you might use:

âWhat do you do for fun?â

âWhat are you passionate about?â

âAre you ambitious?â

âWhere are you from?â

Whenever she answers one of your questions, you can do one of three things:

1. Go deeper on that topic:

If she says sheâs passionate about helping people, you can talk in-depth about how she wants to help people.

If she says she likes to hang out with friends for fun, you could say, âYou seem like the type of girl who gets high with her friends and talks about philosophyâ

2. Compliment her:

If she says she is ambitious and sheâs working on becoming a published author, you could say, âThatâs really cool. I can tell youâve got the kind of crazy brain it takes to be a good writer.â (You could then follow up with a question about her writing to go deeper on that topic.)

3. Tease her:

If she says sheâs from Texas, you could say, âTexas? That explains a lot.â

If you ask her what she does for fun and she says she likes to read, you could say, âHow many times have you read 50 Shades of Grey?â (Implying she likes smutty romance novels)

Holding a conversation in a club isnât complicated. The environment isnât designed for deep, philosophical conversations. All you need to do is make the conversation emotionally engaging. Ask some basic questions to give the conversation structure, and when she answers those questions use pushes and pulls to create sexual tension.

How To Approach A Girl In A Club Step 3:

Lead Hard

So far weâve covered how to approach a girl in a night club and how to keep the conversation interesting. If you want anything sexual to happen with the girl, the next thing you need to do is lead hard.

In a club, you canât just approach a girl and talk to her for a couple hours in the same area you met her.

Within five minutes of approaching a girl, you should invite her to hang out with you somewhere nearby. For example, you might say:

• âHey, letâs go dance for a minute.â
• âLetâs go to the outside area so I can actually hear you.â
• âCome meet my friends, theyâre really cool.â

If the girl you approach likes you, sheâll probably be comfortable to leave her friend and move to another area of the club with you. If she wonât, you have three options:

1. Invite her friends to come as well.
2. Stick around with her for another 10 minutes or so before making another suggestion.
3. Get her number and make plans to hang out with her later. If a girl isnât willing to move a few feet away from her friends, thereâs a good chance youâre not going to be able to bring her home with you. In that case, your best bet is to make plans for a date with her before moving on to another girl.

Once youâve lead the girl to another area of the club, you can get more physical (because her friends arenât there to judge her).

You donât need to make out with a girl in a club to take her home with you, but if you’re new to picking up girls in clubs, making-out can help build your self-confidence so that you feel comfortable going for the pull later.

Get Her Logistics

Make sure that if youâve been talking to a girl for a good 15 minutes that you get her logistics. The simplest way to do this is to ask, âWhat are you doing later tonight?â

Her answer will give you a good idea as to how likely it is sheâs going to go home with you that night. She might say something like,

• âNothing, what are you doing?â
• âIâm not sure yet.â

An answer like that usually means the girl is down to hang out with you after the club closes.

If, however, she says:

âIâm going back home with my friends.â

âIâm going to sleep soon, I have work early tomorrow.â

Answers like those indicate that she doesnât want to go home with you that night. To be fair, this isnât a hard rule, there are exceptions. (If your intuition says you can bring her home, donât hesitate to go for it).

Generally, if you get a response like that, I recommend you just grab her number and approach another girl. Otherwise, you might spend your entire night talking to someone who doesnât want what you want.

Go For The Close

If you think a girl is open to the possibility to going home with you, suggest that you and her hang out at your place. I like to use the lines:

âHey, itâs way too loud here, letâs go get a drink somewhere we can actually have a conversation.â

You: Have you ever watched X movie/TV show?

Her: Nope, canât say I have.

You: Are you serious? You have to see it, itâs amazing. Letâs go watch it.

Her: Right now?

You: Yeah, itâll be fun.

If the girlâs down to sleep with you that night, you donât need the smoothest line in the world to get her to agree to come home with you.

Once the girl has agreed to go back to your place, the rest should happen automatically. 

Wrapping Up How To Approach A Girl In A Club (And Bring Her Home With You)

Iâve gone out to meet women in clubs with hundreds of guys – only a few of them have pulled attractive women home with them.

Whatâs the main reason these men fail to pull?

They just donât take enough action. They approach one or two girls, get rejected, and then spend the rest of the night observing women instead of interacting with them.

If you want to bring girls home with you, keep in mind that most of your interactions arenât going to lead anywhere. Even if you do everything right she might have a boyfriend, she might just not have chemistry with you, or she might be a lesbian. Donât expect to pull one of the first few girls you approach.

A night out is marathon, not a sprint. It may take 10, 20, or even more approaches to meet a girl who you have mutual attraction with and who is interested in going home with you that night. Follow the four steps I outlined above and you will consistently be able to pull women home with you when you go out – so long as you stay out for at least a couple hours and keep approaching until you meet a girl who reciprocates your interest.