Charm is the art of making someone feel good in your presence. With enough charm, people will become addicted to your personality like a drug.
Unfortunately, charm is elusive to most men. We are taught that conversation is a tool for exchanging logical ideas, but charm is about exchanging emotions.
Any man can become charming â it has nothing to do with your appearance or the money in your wallet. Charm is conveyed through what you say and how you say it. And with enough charm, your dating options will increase exponentially. The more women enjoy being around you, the more interested they will be in starting a sexual relationship with you.
In this article, youâre going to learn 2 simple methods for charming the women you meet. Few guys implement either of these strategies. if you use both, women will respond you to you in ways most men wouldnât dream of.
How do most conversations between a man and a woman start?
With an interview. For example:
Guy: Hey, howâs it going?
Girl: Good. How about you?
Guy: Itâs great. Where are you from?
Guy: California? Thatâs cool. What do you do for work?
Girl: Iâm a nurse.
Guy: A nurse, thatâs awesome. So, what do you do for fun?
Whatâs missing in the above conversation? Emotional relevance.
If you want to charm a girl, steer the conversation towards topics that she is personally invested in.
For example, when a girl says sheâs a nurse, you could say, âDo you love it or hate it?â Then, sheâll respond by talking about how her work makes her feel.
I asked this exact question to a girl last night, and she talked about the ups and downs of her career for five minutes straight. Immediately afterwards, she asked me for my number.
Itâs okay to ask interview questions like, âWhere are you from?â and âWhat do you do for fun?â But make sure to follow up on those questions with something more emotional.
If a girl says sheâs from Los Angeles, ask her something like, âWhatâs it like living in a city where everything is so competitive?â or, âIâve heard that most of the people in L.A. are really fake, is that true?â
With questions like the above, youâre changing the conversation from an exchange of facts, to an exchange of experiences. Women love talking about their experience of life. Facts, on the other hand, are emotionally stale.
To give you some ideas for making a conversation emotional, here are topics that women find engaging:
Any of the above topics make for conversation that is as addictive to women as crack cocaine.
If your conversations with women tend to be logical, I recommend you take 15 minutes to write down the above list of topics (Love/Her personality/etc. and you come up with some ideas of how you can bring them up in conversation.
Cold reading is a simple, yet effective, technique for making a conversation emotionally relevant to a girl.
You could ask a question like, âWhat do you do in your free time?â But itâs much more emotionally engaging to cold read what she does in her free time. For example:
âYou seem like the kind of girl who goes on crazy, spontaneous adventures.â
âYou seem like someone who works hard while everyone else is looking at Instagram.â
âYou seem like you might be an only child.â
Sheâll say, âWhat do you mean by that?â
You can respond, âI mean you seem independent and like youâre comfortable with being the center of attention.â
You can use cold reading to make what would otherwise be boring interview questions, emotionally relevant:
âWhere are you from?â Becomes, âYouâre from Portland, arenât you?â
âWhat do you do for a living?â Becomes, âYou seem like youâre an artist of some kindâ
By talking about emotionally engaging topics and using cold reading, women will not only respond to you more positively, but theyâll also be far more invested in their conversation with you (oftentimes so invested that theyâll want to keep the conversation going in a private location).
Society teaches us that men should pursue women, not the other way around. From a womanâs perspective, being relentlessly pursued by dozens of guys quickly becomes tedious. Itâs flattering to be wanted, but itâs also unexciting (because thereâs no challenge).
When something is easy to get, we assume it must have little value. This why a rich kid whose parents buy him a Tesla can be upset that they didnât buy him a Lamborghini (even though most people wish they could get a Tesla.
The same applies to dating. If you are easy to get, women will assume that you have little value. If a girl gets the impression that sheâs won you over, thereâs nothing for her to be excited about. To charm a woman, you must give her the sense of challenge she secretly desires.
This canât be entirely faked. If you have low standards and youâre willing to sleep with any girl whoâll have you â women will sense your desperation.
The first step to getting women to pursue you is to determine exactly what you do (and donât) want in a potential partner. Obviously, you want someone whoâs physically attractive â that goes without saying â but what non-physical traits are interested in?
Take 15 minutes to write it out. Describe 5 traits that you do want in a woman and 5 traits you donât want.
For example, you may want a woman who is ambitious, who is confident in her sexuality, who is funny, highly feminine, and who is well educated.
You may not want a woman who:
Write out the traits you do and donât want and flesh them out by writing a couple sentences about what each trait really means to you.
Once you have an idea of what you do and donât want in a girl, you can interact with women from a completely different frame.
Instead of trying to prove yourself to her, youâre finding out if sheâs someone youâre interested in dating. From her perspective, this makes you a challenge worth pursuing, instead of just another guy who wants to get in her pants.
To get a girl to start chasing you, you can simply do less. Most guys feel they need to keep the conversation going, so if thereâs ever a moment of silence, the guy thinks of something to fill in the gap with. Instead, let her fill in the gap.
When thereâs a quiet moment between you and a girl, just hold eye contact until she feels the need to ask you something. This way, sheâs the one pursuing you. Sheâs the one investing more in the conversation.
This principle applies to conversation in general. Once you bring the conversation to emotionally relevant topics like we listed above, let her talk as long as she wants to.
You can ask further questions and comment on what she said, but let her do most of the talking â sheâs much more interested in herself than she is in you. And if you can get a girl to talk about herself in a way that is emotionally engaging, thereâs no reason for you to try and take the spotlight.
Think of this as the difference between using a paddleboat and a sailboat. With a paddleboat youâre doing all the heavy lifting, youâre using brute force to move the boat. But with a sailboat, youâre simply directing external forces in a way that benefits you.
Conversation with women is the same way, itâs much more powerful to get a girl to talk about things sheâs interested in than it is to try and control every aspect of the conversation. Let her do most of the work, simply guide her towards topics that engage her.
By letting a woman chase you, youâre giving her the opportunity to win over a cool guy (instead of putting up with yet another manâs desperate attempts at sleeping with her). True charm isnât about winning a girl over, itâs about making her feel like sheâs winning you over.
Charm seems like a mysterious quality that only a lucky few men are born with. But, in truth, charm can be boiled down to a science. By making your conversations emotionally exhilarating and by positioning yourself as a challenge, women will inevitably be charmed by you.
Of course, there are other methods for charming women (making strong eye contact, building your confidence, and teasing), but the two tips you learned in this article are the fundamentals to interacting with a woman in a way that sweeps her off her feet. Without these fundamentals, your conversations with women will be platonic at best, boring at worst. With them, your conversations will be emotionally addictive.
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|Title||How To Charm A Girl In Two Simple Steps|
|Date||August 22, 2018 5:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)|
|Blog||Red Pill Theory|
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