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How To Fail Spectacularly At Anything (Step-by-step Guide)

December 10, 2016

Failure is a skill that takes years to develop. Fortunately, I spent the first 19 years of my life (well over 10,000 hours) mastering that skill. I thought I’d take a moment to share what I’ve learned, because, for some reason, even though countless people have written about how to succeed, no one’s taken the time to lay out a blueprint for failure.


Avoid Negative Feedback


Negative feedback sucks. I once approached a girl and she said, “Look, I’m sorry, but you have the body of a twelve-year-old and a woman will never love you. GO away.” Yeah, that hurt.

Negative feedback hurts your ego, and you want to protect your ego at all costs. Don’t do anything that risks negative feedback. For example, if you’re a guy and you want to get a date, when you go to a bar, wait for girls to come to you, if you approach women, most of them will reject you, and this is quite painful.

If you want to be an artist of some kind, like a writer, wait until several people tell you that you’re a bonafide genius and that you need to get your work published immediately. Until this happens, you’d be taking a huge risk to share your work, and you’re best off keeping your art entirely to yourself.

If you can’t avoid negative feedback, make sure to take it personally. If you see it as constructive criticism, then you have to take responsibility, and that might mean you will have to change your behavior. Change is hard, and should be avoided at all costs.


Blame others


If you get bad grades, it’s because your teacher is an asshole or because you’re just not cut out for school. If you’re poor, it’s because of the bad economy or job market. If you don’t have a girlfriend, it’s because the women in your town are too stuck-up.
This mindset is very helpful, it allows you to stave off all self-criticism, by blaming everyone else, your problems are never your fault. If you thought that your life sucked because of your own thinking and decisions, your life would be full of challenges that you shouldn’t have to deal with. Forget that, if you want to successfully fail, always blame everyone but yourself.


Take Things Personally


You’re at the center of it all. Make sure to remember that. It’s useful to think that people are constantly thinking about you and judging you, this will help you to keep your guard up. If you don’t think everything is about you, how will you create exciting drama in your life? You won’t!

Keep the drama going, if your boss is upset, obsess over the possible reasons they’re mad at you (and make sure to fantasize about getting fired: this will keep you on your toes). When I was 16, a crush of mine told me that I was barely even a man. I made sure to take this super personally, I imagined myself dying alone with a tombstone that said, “Here lies Avery, he had the body of a twelve-year old, a woman never loved him, and he died alone.” I took that comment so personally that I carved out my identity based on it for years! This was extremely helpful.

Think in black and white


People like to say that truth is relative. But it’s a lot of work to see the world that way. Thinking of nuance, subtlety, perspective… it’s a huge chore. Do this instead: If someone has a different opinion from you, don’t try to understand their point of view, righteously tell them all the reasons you know that they’re wrong. Not only is it easier, but it feels good! Feeling like you know the objective truth about an issue allows you to avoid the hard work of questioning your assumptions.

Doubting yourself creates internal friction, and this is stressful! If people don’t agree with you, get rid of them. Make sure your social-circle and media influences are a verifiable vacuum chamber. The human mind has a bias towards confirming previously held beliefs, fighting against your biases is a real struggle, I recommend you avoid this at all costs.


Life is Serious


If you take nothing else from this article, know this: Life is a serious ordeal, and no one gets out alive. Even the Buddha understood this, that’s why he said, “Life is suffering.” The best way to deal with this is to complain constantly.

Complaining is helpful because it lets you focus on your problems rather than what’s going well, and the more you do this, the better. Every time you complain, you remind yourself that life is difficult, plus, the mind works in a really cool way, the more you think about something, the more you believe it. So, the more you complain, the more difficult life actually becomes! Also, don’t just complain to others, complain to yourself all the time. Do this enough and your results are guaranteed.

Abuse Escapism


In the modern world, we have an unlimited supply of distractions that can help us escape ourselves. Don’t just use these occasionally, addict yourself to these stimuli. See, the internet, video games, chocolate, gambling, etc., are all excellent sources of the neurochemical called dopamine. Dopamine gives you a temporary sense of release from your real-life stress, and what’s great is that it’s extremely addictive. It’s very easy to become dependent on dopamine release!

Whenever you’re feeling tired, stressed, or frustrated, let out those frustrations with hours of distraction. TV was my favorite escape, in my teens I watched several hours of tv a day, I even re-watched every episode of How I Met Your Mother at least ten times.

And it really worked, as I watched television, I was able to sweep my problems under the rug. While I was staring at the screens my bad grades and lackluster social life were easy to forget!

But remember, the trick is to addict yourself to the stimulus, whenever you feel stressed, don’t deal with the root issue, use your preferred coping mechanism. Eventually, because of the miracle of dopamine, you will get a strong desire to use this coping mechanism all the time. You might even spend most of your waking hours with it!

In Conclusion

If you do some of these well, I can absolutely guarantee your results. Again, I have years of experience at failing spectacularly, and I’m not just boasting here. But don’t take my word for it, try these techniques yourself and see what happens.

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Post Information
Title How To Fail Spectacularly At Anything (Step-by-step Guide)
Author Avery
Date December 10, 2016 7:56 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Blog Red Pill Theory
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Red-Pill-Theory/how-to-fail-spectacularly-at-anything-step-by-step.22757
Original Link https://redpilltheory.com/2016/12/10/fail-spectacularly-anything-step-step-guide/
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