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She Said, “We’re Not Going To Have Sex,”Three Times. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next

June 28, 2018

There were hundreds of beautiful women in the Vegas Nightclub, Omnia. I scanned the balcony for potential prospects. I approached an attractive blonde girl in a sun dress standing next to her friends and said, “You don’t really look like you belong here.”

She roughly looked like this.

She replied, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you don’t look like a party girl. You’re dressed too classy for a Vegas Nightclub.” I continued, “But that’s a good thing. I’m not a party girl, either, so we might just get along.”

She laughed, told me her name was Carly, and started asking me questions about what I do, who I’m with etc. (always a good sign).

As we continued talking, Carly told me she was a published poet and the valedictorian at her high-school (when a girl tries to impress you, it usually means she likes you).

I said, “Who would have thought we’d end up talking about poetry in a nightclub? This has turned out to be interesting.” She agreed, and I continued, “Let’s head to the dance floor for a minute.” I took her hand and brought her to dance with me.

After dancing for about ten minutes, we returned to the balcony and I asked Carly what she was doing later that night. She replied, “Not sure, what about you?” (When a girl says this, it means she wants to hang out with you later.)

After a few more minutes of chatting, I said, “Hey, it’s too loud here, I want to be able to have a real conversation with you. Let’s go back to my hotel and have a drink.” (Credit goes to Russel Brand for this line.)

She replied, “Sure, that sounds like fun. But, I want you to know, we’re not having sex.”

I didn’t acknowledge her comment (because to do so would make it seem like it affected me). I simply said, “Ok, let’s go.”

As we waited for an Uber outside of the club, she said, again, “We’re not having sex tonight.”

I said, “Okay.” and then return the conversation to the previous topic.

We got out of the Uber by my hotel. As we walked towards my room, she said, “We’re not having sex tonight.” I reassured her by saying, “I know,” and we walked into my room.

As I filled my shot glass with Jameson, I said, “You know, I generally don’t like meeting women at clubs because although there’s plenty of beautiful girls there, almost none of them are smart enough to really intrigue me.”
She said, “I totally agree, I’m actually a sapiophile” (Every girl who knows what the word sapiophile means thinks she is one.)

I continued, “Yeah, so I’m really glad I met you, you’re an exception to the rule.”

I paused to give her a chance to make googly eyes at me. Then, I said, “Yeah, you’re the total opposite of most club girls. Very smart. Not the most attractive, but you know, it’s inner-beauty that matters.”

For a moment she looked dejected, then she said, “Screw you, do you want to get slapped?”

I gave her a sarcastic grin before saying, “I’m just kidding, obviously. You’re not just smart, you’re beautiful too. Stunning. You know that, don’t you?”

Then, I leaned in to kiss her. The kiss quickly escalated into making out, and within a few minutes, she exclaimed, “Are you going to fuck me already, or what?”

After saying, “We’re not going to have sex.” three times, she asks whether I’m going fuck her already. Part of me wanted to give her a lecture about boundaries and honest communication, but a bigger part of me (wink, wink), wanted to fuck her brains out. So, I picked her up from the couch, walked her into my bedroom, and threw her on the bed. What happened next, you can probably imagine.

Key Takeaways:

We’re Not Going to Have Sex

Oftentimes, when a woman says, “We’re not going to have sex,” she’s only saying it because she’s been considering having sex with you. The emotional part of her brain wants a good plowing, but the logical part of her brain is telling her that she shouldn’t have sex with a guy she just met. She verbalizes that she’s not going to sleep with you to relieve herself of cognitive dissonance.

But she wants to fuck you. If she becomes sufficiently aroused (I used all the strategies in this article to arouse her: https://redpilltheory.com/2018/02/27/arouse-girl-youre-even-bedroom/) , her silly logical reason to not have sex with you will fly out the window as quickly as her panties drop to the floor.

On the surface, having a girl tell you, “We’re not going to have sex,” is one of the worst things that she could say (unless you’re a celibate monk, in which case you should probably stop reading this), but in actuality, it’s one of the best things she could say.

Create Sexual Tension with Push-Pull

“That was a shitty kiss.”

A pull is anything that makes a girl feel validated (I.E. complimenting her, giving her your attention, or buying her a drink).

A push is anything that makes a girl feel invalidated (I.E. making fun of her, taking away your attention, or refusing a request she makes).

Pulls are important because they show a girl that you like her and want to spend more time with her. But too much pull without any push makes a girl feel like you’re putting her on a pedestal to get something from her. If you regularly compliment a girl and agree with everything she says, she’s going to think you’re spineless. And depending on her personality type, she may even take advantage of you (I.E. letting you buy her things even though she has no interest in sleeping with you).

At the same time, if you constantly make fun of a girl, interrupt her, and are generally dismissive of her, she won’t feel that you see her as anything more than a sex object, and that will make her distrust you.

Your interactions with women should have a good mixture of push and pull. You compliment her, but you also tease her. You show interest in what she says, but you’re willing to disagree with her.

The combination of push and pull creates a dynamic where she enjoys being around you, but she’s not completely sure whether you’re interested in her. This doubt creates sexual tension.

With Carly, I created a strong pull when I told her she was much more intelligent than most women who go to clubs. I turned the pull into a push by telling her, “You’re very smart. Not the most attractive, but you know, it’s inner-beauty that matters.” This riled her up because it took away the validation of the previous compliment.

Then, I flipped it again by telling her she really was beautiful. That’s the basic formula for creating sexual tension. A pull makes a girl feel good, but it also gives away your power in the sense that it lets her know she could “get” you. A push replaces that good feeling with doubt and makes her want to get the good feeling you gave her earlier, back.

I know this sounds manipulative when it’s explained so bluntly, but this is the basic dynamic underlying all good flirting: whether or not you’re aware of it. Push pull is what “naturals” (guys who are good with women without needing to learn about it online) do instinctually.

Most guys who aren’t good with women either pull too much (this is the stereotypical nice guy who bends over backwards for a girl he barely knows),or push too much. But a good interaction needs both push and pull, that’s what makes a woman want to start actively pursuing you, instead of just putting up with your advances. An easy way to make sure not to do too much pull is to adhere by commandment v (https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/), only give her 2/3 of what she gives you – let her do most of the investing in the interaction.

Capitalize on Good Logistics

When a girl goes out to a Vegas nightclub with a group of two other female friends, there’s a very good chance she’s out to flirt with guys. If you ask a girl to dance and she doesn’t object by saying something like, “Okay, but I have to tell my friends,” that’s another good sign.

The less attached a girl is to her group of friends, the more likely it is she’s open to going home with a guy that night. When a group of girls are clingy, it often means they plan on going home with each other, not with guys. A great way to find out if a girl is open to the possibility to going home with you is to ask, “What are you doing later tonight?” If she says she isn’t doing anything or asks what you’re doing, it probably means she’s down to go home with you.

When a girl’s logistics are good, capitalize on them – it definitely makes things easier. However, if a girl has bad logistics, you can still make something happen if she really likes you. Logistics are good to be aware of, but bad logistics can usually be overcome.


Sometimes when a girl says, “We’re not going to have sex,” what she really means is, “I want to have sex with you, but I don’t want to feel like I’m easy to get into bed.” When it comes to dating, what a woman says, and what she means, are often two very different things.

It can be frustrating when a woman sends mixed signals, but that’s the whole point! If a girl tells you, “We’re not having sex,” and you get visibly upset and reactive, that tells the girl that you’re not very sure of yourself and that you’re not in control of your emotions – which means you’re probably not a guy she should be having sex with. If you understand why women test men, those tests will actually be reassuring to you. When a girl says, “We’re not going to have sex tonight,” you’ll know that in an hour she’ll be saying, “Are you going to fuck me already, or what?”

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog Red Pill Theory.

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Post Information
Title She Said, “We’re Not Going To Have Sex,”Three Times. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next
Author Avery
Date June 28, 2018 5:36 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Blog Red Pill Theory
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Red-Pill-Theory/she-said-were-not-going-to-have-sexthree-times-you.22669
Original Link https://redpilltheory.com/2018/06/28/she-said-were-not-going-to-have-sex-four-times-you-wont-believe-what-happened-next/
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