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The Five Stages of Learning Game: Part 4, Above It All

Avery
April 16, 2018

You’ve slept with a few beautiful women, and now you think you’re Neo after he saw the Matrix.

Once you get to an advanced level of game (meaning you’re able to sleep with attractive women fairly consistently), you’re at high risk of developing a god complex.

“Good is the enemy of great” – Jim Collins

You’ll watch videos by well-known dating coaches and think, “Pshh, I’m so much better than this clown.” You’ll watch your friends approach women and tell yourself, “He’s so bad. Get on my level.” And, most importantly, you’ll start to see yourself as above it all.

I remember a couple years back, I would spend most of my nights out coaching my friends instead of interacting with women myself. I told myself I was doing this because I wanted to help my friends, but it was mostly just a way for me to stroke my ego.

Once you start getting good results from game, you can convince yourself that you no longer need to improve. This complacency leads to stagnation.

 

The Downward Spiral

Now that you’re “advanced”, instead of going out four times a week, you might only go out once a month. Instead of approaching ten girls when you go out, you might only approach a few (and spend the rest of your night coaching your friends). Instead of analyzing what you need to do to get to the next level, you might just “wing it”.

Most often, when a guy starts to lose passion for the game in this way, he ends up in a long-term relationship with one of the girls he met while out.

This isn’t always a bad thing. If your ultimate goal is to start a family, and you find a girl you see long-term potential with, that’s great.

Unfortunately, many guys end up dating a girl who’s “good enough”. If you end up getting in a relationship with a girl who’s better than average – but not exceptional – you’re selling yourself short.

Men end up settling for one of a few different reasons:

  1. -Once you start getting to a point where you consider yourself “advanced”, your game is good enough that the women you meet will want to lock you down. Women will start to see you as a prize, and they’ll try to convince you to get in a serious relationship with them. It’s extremely easy to say yes (even if the girl is unexceptional) because doing so means you don’t have to deal with the chaos of going out. You’re giving up excitement in the name of comfort.
  2. Let’s say you usually get “7s” and you end up hooking up with an “8”. We tend to get attached to women who are a bit more attractive than we’re used to, mostly because it’s extremely validating to our ego.
  3. Game can start to feel empty and meaningless at a certain point. One-night-stands are fun, but after you’ve had a good number of them, they also feel pointless. Once you start to think this way, you might convince yourself to “pursue something meaningful with one special girl”.

Again, if you end up settling down with a girl who meets your standards, there’s nothing wrong with it. Unfortunately, In the above situations, we often rationalize that a girl lives up to our standards even though she doesn’t.

To avoid this mistake, have a clear idea of what you’re looking for in a serious relationship. What do you want in a girl? What don’t you want in a girl?

You can write this out, take 15-30 minutes to list out the qualities a girl you’re going to date must have (and the red flags that she must not have).

You can start with traits that you want (e.g. Intelligent, beautiful, passionate, open-minded) and then you can define what exactly you mean by those traits.

Deciding to get in a committed relationship is an important decision whose impact will echo through the rest of your life. Don’t take it lightly. I’ve seen friends seriously damage themselves by getting into toxic relationships.

One friend of mine became addicted to drugs and alcohol because he dated a girl who was herself an addict. Another friend of mine went through an identity crisis after he dated a girl who was both depressed and highly manipulative: she would threaten to cut herself or commit suicide if he didn’t do what she wanted him to. It was fucked up.

If you know what you want in a relationship, you’re going to make it much easier to say no to a girl who doesn’t live up to your standards.

 

Stay Hungry

Most guys who get to an advanced level of game let their ego get the best of them. You can see this in many of the most famous pickup artist’s and dating coaches.

Mystery is a prime example of this. Not only did he spiral into narcissism and depression, but he also began to see his method as infallible. Once you start to see yourself as god’s gift to women, you’ll have trouble making any further improvements.

Truthfully, you can always get better. Furthermore, if you stop focusing on improvement, you will inevitably get bored with the game – it is the sense that you’re improving over time that makes game so addictive.

The first key to avoiding this pitfall is to be aware of it. Accept that you have an ego, and that if you’re not careful, it will trick you into complacency.

Furthermore, repeatedly look at your strengths AND weaknesses. Go back and rate yourself on the list of sticking points from part 3 on a monthly basis (if not in written form, do so mentally at least).

Proactively look for mistakes you might be making. Your ability to identify your weaknesses so that you can improve them is a major key for long-term improvement.

The Paradox of Self-Improvement and Self-Acceptance

Some guys have trouble looking for their own weaknesses because doing so seemingly implies that you are not accepting yourself as you are. That’s bullshit. Even if you were the best in the world at something, there’d still be plenty of room for improvement.

Focusing on your weaknesses isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s about having high enough self-esteem to acknowledge your faults and work on them. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean thinking of yourself as perfect, it means that you accept both your good qualities and your flaws.

 

Conclusion

When you’re advanced, going out to meet women is a peak experience. You’ll still get rejected and have bad nights, but overall this stage of game is where you get to reap the rewards from all the effort you put in.

Not only will you have mind-blowing sex with beautiful women during this stage, but you’ll also experience the pure fun of being in a state of total confidence while meeting women. And if you persist through this stage, you can get to mastery.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog Red Pill Theory.

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