~ archived since 2018 ~

This Forgotten Technique From Ancient Greece Helps You Succeed With Women

Avery
July 26, 2017

“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality”– Seneca

Fear setting is a technique entrepreneur Tim Ferris adopted from the stoics. It’s an exceptionally pragmatic way to set goals; instead of focusing on what you want and why you want it, you’re focusing on what can go wrong.

This counterintuitive approach is effective because, whether we realize it or not, we are more motivated to avoid pain than to seek pleasure. Traditional goal setting focuses on everything you have to gain, but what really drives us is what we want to avoid. Fear Setting frames your goals in a way that respects this psychological reality, and in doing so, prepares you for long-term success.

 

Fear setting has three major steps:

 

1. Prepare for the Worst:

For this process, start by choosing a goal or important decision you want to focus on with this exercise. For our purposes, we might select: “Practice cold-approach pickup regularly so I can get a high-quality girlfriend.”

Once you have your goal, list all the things that you think could go wrong under the label ‘worst case’. For our goal, it might look something like this:

 

Step 1. Worst Case Scenario:

  1. Every girl I talk to rejects me.
  2. I get a bad reputation as a ‘player.’
  3. It turns out I’m just not good looking enough.
  4. I have too much anxiety to approach any girls.
  5. I’ll meet a girl I really like and start dating her, but she’ll break my heart.
  6. I won’t have enough motivation to do this long enough to get good results.

Next, you list ways in which you might be able to repair the worst-case scenarios if they happen. For our example, it might look like this:

 

Repair: (Every girl I talk to rejects me)

  1. Don’t be too aggressive when I’m new to this, start with an intention of making new friends.
  2. Learn from each rejection what I could do better.
  3. Don’t give up until I’ve gotten at least 1000 rejections.
  4. Practice techniques to create attraction.

 

Repair: (I get a bad reputation as a ‘player’)

  1. Explain to whoever calls me a player that I’ve been approaching people because I have social anxiety.
  2. Disassociate with anyone who judges me for living my life how I want to.
  3. If my parents hear about this, be honest with them, they will understand.
  4. If worst comes to worst, I can always change cities.

(PS: It’s extremely unlikely you will get a bad reputation, but if you do, you are prepared for it.)

 

Repair: (It turns out I’m just not good looking enough)

  1. If I keep getting rejected because of my looks, I can improve my appearance by going to the gym, getting nice clothes, getting a nice haircut, etc.) (I should do these things regardless).
  2. Don’t assume I’m not good looking enough until I’ve gotten at least 1000 rejections.
  3. If I’m having trouble because of my looks, get ten times better than good looking guys at everything else (humor, charisma, etc.).

 

Repair: (I have too much anxiety to approach girls)

  1. Don’t give up, go out every day until I finally do start approaching girls.
  2. Take baby steps, start with something easy like smiling at girls as they walk by and build up from there.
  3. Look up strategies to beat approach anxiety.
  4. If nothing else is working, I can see a therapist to help me with social anxiety.
  5. Find wingmen who already approach to inspire me.

 

Repair: (I’ll meet a girl I really like and start dating her, but she’ll break my heart)

  1. If I got one girl I really like, I have the necessary skills to meet another.
  2. Don’t get in a relationship until I’ve really got this skillset down.
  3. Understand that getting heart-broken is a learning experience and that although it hurts, it’s ultimately good for me.

 

Repair: (I won’t have enough motivation to get long-term results)

  1. Read some success stories to remind myself that this is possible.
  2. Visualize, every day, how good it will feel once I accomplish my goals.
  3. Stop masturbating, if I can’t watch porn I’ll be more motivated to meet women in real life.
  4. Find like-minded individuals to go out with to help motivate me.

 

2: The Benefits of Failure:

The second step for fear setting is to answer the question, “What might be the benefits of an attempt/partial success?” This is important, because when we look at our goals from a binary succeed/fail perspective, the consequences of failure can seem severe. Looking at the value of an attempt or partial success makes the risk seem less damning because we’re reminding ourselves that attempting a goal has its own value. For our goal, here’s what this second step might look like:

Step 2: What Might the Benefits Be of An Attempt/Partial Success?

  1. Even if I don’t get a girlfriend, I’ll meet a lot of cool new people, and probably make some new friends.
  2. I will get to feel a sense of accomplishment every time I face my fears by approaching a girl or asking a girl on a date.
  3. I will develop my social confidence.
  4. I won’t have to spend my life wondering what could have been if I just stepped up and tried to get my dating life handled.
  5. I’ll be getting out of my house more which is good for the spirit (compared to playing video games/Netflix bingeing).

3: If You Don’t Try:

The third and final step of fear setting is to write down the costs of not attempting to accomplish your goal. Remember, we are more motivated to avoid pain than to seek pleasure. Writing out the consequences of not accomplishing your goal will allow you to use your powerful desire to avoid pain in a productive way.

Do this third step to specify the consequences of failure 6 months from now, 1 year from now, and 3 years from now. Here, I’ll write out an example of what this might look like for 6 months from now:

 

Step 3. The Cost of Inaction

6 months:

I’ll be six months older, yet still without a great woman to share my life with. I’ll have spent my time interacting with video game characters instead of people in real life. I will have missed many opportunities to have fun adventures and exciting experiences.

My frustration with my inability to freely express myself with others will have built up that much more, and I’ll know I could have done something about it.

I will continue to have a lot of negative limiting beliefs that hamper the quality of my life.

 

In Summation:

That’s the process of fear setting. It’s much more pragmatic, and in my opinion, useful, than traditional goal setting. If you go through this process and come to the conclusion that your worst-case scenario is something you’re not willing to risk, email me at [email protected] and I can help you decide whether the risk is likely and if so, if it’s really something not worth facing.

Check out our new Snapchat: redpilltheory

Facebook group: Red Pill Theory

Twitter: Red_Pill_Theory

PS: This was a segment from my new book, The 23 Laws of Seduction. 

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog Red Pill Theory.

Red Pill Theory archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title This Forgotten Technique From Ancient Greece Helps You Succeed With Women
Author Avery
Date July 26, 2017 7:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Blog Red Pill Theory
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/Red-Pill-Theory/this-forgotten-technique-from-ancient-greece-helps.22744
https://theredarchive.com/blog/22744
Original Link https://redpilltheory.com/2017/07/26/forgotten-technique-ancient-greece-gets-laid/
Red Pill terms in post
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2022. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter