So this past weekend I went out downtown with some friends to this Christmas bizarre/festival type thing and though I hadn’t intended on running game, as soon as I saw how many pretty girls were walking around–some giving me IOIs–I couldn’t help myself.
Feel like that’s an important step as any player who primarily relies on cold approach: you get to a point where you just approach women without too much hesitation or thinking about it. Rather than that nervous AA and the questions that come with it, you get excited by the opportunity to talk to girls, and there are even times when you open instinctively. It’s a fun place to be, I can say that much.
Anyway, I started my session live tweeting, but after 3 approaches I realized I was losing sets because I was on my phone, so I cut it short, and then shortly after that my friends needed to leave.
Overall my stats:
- Opens: 6
- Direct: 3
- Indirect: 3
- Stack: 5
- Vibe: 4
- BF: 1
- Numbers: 2
- IG: 2
To be honest, I don’t have a ton of observations on the session, other than to say it was a festival type atmosphere, and girls are far easier to approach in these sorts of situations–you can see that in the close rate: 2/3’s. I wrote a post on why guys should seek “warm” situations for cold approach as much as possible, which you can read if you’re curious.
IG Theory–open loops and building value.
In the two tweets I did where I took an instagram, I wrote that IG = garbage, and I don’t think that’s far wrong… at least in the short run.
But before I get to the theory, here’s why it’s worth it, even if she never responds to a DM or comes out.
You opened a girl, ran some game, good enough to convince her to give you a way to contact her.
That’s a win no matter what; it reaffirms the purpose of what you are doing–you’re talking to pretty girls trying to get their contact details so you can ask them on a date. I see a lot of guys say they let girls go on Twitter–and I’ve even done that some myself–but I don’t think that’s a good mindset. To me, it seems you should always push for the close in whatever fashion you can get it–even if she wants to take your number (this is how I fucked Socks, arguably my hottest lay since becoming a player–although a super low probability she ever does anything with it), because any chance is just that. A chance. And with enough opportunities, good things will happen.
To this point, every IG you collect is an open loop. You approached her, you had intent, you showed her you’re a man, not a mouse (as our old friend Tom Torero would say).
So while she may not be willing to go out with you right away and/or give the number, over time she may warm to you, assuming you play your cards right.
There are a couple ways I see this playing out:
- She follows you back and is then exposed to who you are whenever you post a photo or story.
- She doesn’t follow you back, but in following her, you can at some point comment on something she does.
Obviously, scenario one is better, which is why I always try to get the girl to follow me if I can do so without sounding try-hard. On this point, my thinking hasn’t changed much: HQ guys, unless they are truly rich and famous celebrities, aren’t posting a bunch of stories or pics to Instagram. As Nash says, Instagram is for girls.
And it is.
But in this day and age it’s almost weird not to have the gram on your phone (you should also get Snap)–and if you’re using it correctly (follow the link above), it’s one way to DHV.
Here’s the long term thinking: the number one most important thing that determines whether or not a chick will fuck you is actually not game, status, money (unless you’re paying her directly for sex, which doesn’t really apply here), or anything else under your control–it’s whether she’s in the mood to fuck or not (IMO, game is putting her in the mood when she’s ambivalent).
As we know, it’s often the case she’s not in the mood. But by having that connection via Insta, you enable the possibility that when she is, she picks you.
To demonstrate, let’s take a pretty typical IG close scenario: you open, run good game, get her engaged, but for whatever reason, she doesn’t want to exchange numbers and offers her IG account instead.
So you follow her and like you should, DM her sometime in the next 24 hours. She reads it but doesn’t reply. Next?
That’s right: you STFU and don’t DM her again anytime soon.
But then, 3 months later, she posts a story and you comment with something snarky and playful. This time, she’s kinda in the mood–maybe she broke up with her BF, is frustrated by Tinder, whatever–and she wonders, “who is this guy?”
So she looks at your account, which is public, and sees you having fun with friends, eating good food, sometimes taking pics with hot chicks, pursuing your mission, etc.
The more she sees, the more she’s intrigued, and then on a whim decides to DM a reply to your comment. And all the sudden: boom, you’re in and you’ve got a shot to get her out.
Now imagine that in your 500 approaches/year, you take 50 IGs. That’s 50x that scenario can play out, and if you multiply that by the number of tertiary follows you might get, plus doing that over multiple years, you’ve now got a tremendous source of passive pussy. The other thing that works in your favor is that while your SMV is either rising or stable, if she’s over 25, hers is either stable or falling, which further increases the odds she decides to take a chance on you.
Is that your focus? No of course not–you focus on the girls who give their numbers and come out. But taking her IG if she’ll give nothing else keeps you in that closer’s mentality, and as a bonus, you’re building a bunch of open loops you might be able to close later. Besides, what’s the harm? She doesn’t reply? She flakes? Fuck me, who cares? If you’re in game and you have a fragile ego, you should do something else with your time because you’ll be endlessly pissed off.
The other advantage here is that a lot of girls–especially the younger ones–are super flighty and socially awkward and anxious. So while she might not want to go on a date with you based on one approach, she might, after seeing a bit more about you on IG, think hey, this guys seems cool and normal, I’ll go out with him after all.
Now, admittedly, this is theory–I only have one IG lay to be 100% fair, but I’ve also only really been in the game since Summer 2018. It could be that the conversion rate is so low it isn’t worth it, but again, it can’t really hurt you either, right?
If you have thoughts or experience with the strategy, please comment!