I was recently able to watch Krauser’s Day Game Resistance talk–a lot of really great lessons in there, but I wanted to focus on the three non-negotiables today he talks about for day game:
- Stop signal–there has to be a clear command to stop, verbal or non-verbal. TBH, this is probably my weakest point of the three.
- Eye contact–the player must maintain strong eye contact with the girl for the entirety of the set.
- Conviction–you believe in what you’re doing: like, you really want to talk to her and you have the frame of a high value man. This is hard to fake, but if you’re scared, you’re screwed.
Let’s go to the stats:
- Opens: 13
- Direct: 13
- Indirect: 0
- Blowouts: 2
- Stack: 9
- Vibe: 7
- Comfort/Grounding: 6
- BF: 3
- Numbers: 3
- Weasels: 2
Daygame is a muscle–want to get good? You’ve got to approach. A lot.
I’ve been kind of a piece of shit lately in terms of going out and doing cold approach. That isn’t to say I haven’t done it–I have, like last Saturday, and off and on here and there–but I haven’t dedicated myself to it like I did last spring and summer. Especially last Spring.
Goal going forward is to be more dedicated and intentional. And already, I can see a big difference. Went out this past Saturday and it was an OK session (although all three closes disappeared), but I felt off the whole goddamn time.
Today it was different. I was the man. I was in control. I was confident and calibrated. Not perfect, but I did much better in terms of frame control and conviction–thank you Krauser, but also, thank you me for having put in the work the weekend prior.
Stop signal–lesson: body language.
My biggest struggle is stopping chicks. It’s hard to do. Always feels a bit forced and cringy. Often times I’ll walk with them as I start a conversation or approach static sets (standing at a light, looking at something in a store, that sort of thing).
Today, I just stepped in front of chicks, held out my hand, even did a Yad stop, which I almost never do. But mostly it was body language. I would stop strong–full body, heels planted, shoulders back and relaxed–and as Krauser’s best friend Tom Torero would say, the girl is your mirror and she would stop having seen that signal.
And…it worked. They stopped and I opened. There’s a part of the Krauser talk where a guy says that at first it scares the girl a bit, but then she relaxes after, and that’s exactly what happened for the most part. I did have two blowouts, but that’s just a part of day game, or any game for that matter. Some chicks aren’t going to give you the time of day–just the way it goes, and usually has more to do with her than you (she’s late, tired, angry, etc).
But I was extremely intentional about the stop, and that really, really helped.
Eye contact: I want to fuck you. Hard.
This is such an underestimated part of game, but the ability to maintain strong eye contact during an interaction is huge.
In his talk Krauser notes that if you’re looking around and not at the girl it sends a bad message in a couple ways: 1) it shows a lack of confidence, which speaks to the third non-negotiable about conviction, and 2) you lose the sexual tension that comes with looking directly at the girl.
Ordinarily I do pretty well with maintaining strong eye contact as it’s something I internalized about game fairly early on, but it was a good reminder and I tried for laser-like focus on the girl during my sets during this session.
Quick point here: one little trick is to triangulate your vision–think I got this from Beckster. So you look at her left eye for a bit, then her right eye, then look down at her lips–not rapid fire, but slow and deliberate, like your body language. Supposedly this sends a sub-communicated sexual signal to the girl. Anecdotally, I’ve had success with it, so definitely something to try.
Conviction: genuine belief + frame.
Hmmm…I’m not sure quite how to describe this because it’s probably the most ethereal thing about game, and also like, how do you tell someone to believe something will happen if they’ve never done it before and/or don’t have much experience. And, even for advanced day gamers, the fact that there are more no’s that yes’s can make this difficult if you get a string of blowouts, flaky numbers, etc.
I guess the only thing to say about this is that in this last session I assumed the sale. I expected the girls to stop, take the stack, respond/hook, and eventually give me their number. Obviously most didn’t, but my expectation was that they would, and I didn’t let the one’s who didn’t or the blowouts or BFs get to me.
This is a place where I’m really grateful to have played baseball as it’s a game of failure. Even the best hitters fail 7/10 times, but that never extinguishes your belief that you’ll smoke the ball on your next at-bat. Day game–hell even night game–is like that. You fail a lot. But what we have to remember is that when you win it’s a hot young girl in your bed. When you lose it’s what? Maybe five minutes of your time talking to a pretty girl. So in that sense, the successes are much greater than the failures.
A word on frame as it’s another poorly understood concept. I think frame is best described broadly as what you believe about yourself and the world–the most important aspect of which is that you are perfectly comfortable with who you are, where you’re at, and what you’re doing. What guys mean when they say: have a strong frame is “don’t let the girl or outside circumstances prevent you from doing what you want to do or throw you off your course.”
End results: First date w/ another lined up.
So, of the three numbers I got, only two replied.
Of those two, only one came out on a date, but that’s pretty typical for day game. Half your numbers flake (or more), but don’t let that get to you–if you keep going, some for sure will come out, and those that come out tend to be very solid leads (unlike Tinder).
Went with the 2 date model per Magnum and Mr. V’s recommendation, which means it was a drink, flirted and talked for an hour, but left without so much as a kiss–just a hug at the end and plans to hang out this weekend.
We’ll see if I can get the +1.
Get out there this weekend fellas. As I like to say, there’s never been a better time to be a player.