One of the first things I do for my clients is help them optimize their online game—pick the best pictures, encourage them to have professional pictures taken, advise them on the bio, and then explain how to strategically use the apps regarding the algorithm, various platforms, what to pay for and what not to, etc.
(This is only one portion of the comprehensive intake call, which also includes a crash course on cold approach, a guide to the game course I’ve structured, and a lot of prepared material to help the client get started, as well as active improvement strategies, plus a checklist on body language, archetypes, peacocking, fitness, fashion, etc.)
Why does a guy like me, who seemingly hates OLD and almost never uses it, advise his clients on how to get girls online straight away? Because if you do it right, it can work, and most guys are pretty happy to be getting laid on a semi-consistent basis by girls of decent quality, by which I mean 6s and 7s, although let’s be clear and realistic about the top girls most guys can get from online: mostly 6s. When the guy is consistently getting laid, even by 6s, he becomes much more confident, cultivates some of that “winner” aka “big dick” energy, and is therefore much more likely to be successful when cold approaching. Girls can sense when a guy is in a state of abundance, and they like guys other girls like, so long as the guy’s not throwing it in their face all the time, or improperly. Flirt lightly and discreetly with random girls while your girl is around: she likes a guy who knows how women work, since most men have no idea.
After the guy can get the occasional 6, one of two things happen:
- I never hear from the guy again, or only hear that he’s getting laid and is happy, because I’ve essentially solved the immediate problem he’s hired me to solve. Most guys are pretty happy with 6s and the odd 7 here and there–that’s a big win for a lot of guys who would otherwise be mostly celebate and have similar or worse quality anyway and a lot less quantity. Plus, many guys simply can’t or won’t cold approach–even if they want to learn this stuff, some guys simply can’t get past the initial approach anxiety (AA); they’re too scared, and there’s little I can say, no strategy or tactic I can confer onto them that can change this (there are other guys who have convinced themselves cold approach doesn’t work, but that’s because they’re not doing it right and need better social skills and/or to increase their SMV).
- He writes to me within a few weeks and says he wants to improve the “quality” of the girls he’s getting online.
(There’s a small, third cohort who are truly serious about learning cold approach, and we work on cold approach exclusively, including analyses of infield audio. There’s an even smaller fourth cohort of guys who are either hopeless or need years of effort, but if a guy seems to be in that category, I refer him elsewhere: there are therapists and coaches who specialize in building basic social skills, and, in our autistic, phone-addicted times, these people are much needed.)
Any guy looking to up his quality should work on maximizing his SMV, assuming he’s not done so yet. To have a shot at super hot girls, you need good game, yes, but it also helps to be lean, cut, and have big muscles: six-pack abs, biceps, shoulders, pecs, back–plus chicks do very much like guys who have strong legs too. As for how to get there, I’ll leave that to the fitness bros like the Knees Over Toes Guy , although I’ve written a bit about why lifting is important (mindset as well as looks) along with what I do, and then how you can get to that magical number of 15% BF.
But on top of looks-maxxing, guys who want to get the hotter girls have to learn and master day or night game, and/or vastly improve their social circle.
Online, high 7s and above–the 8s, 9s, and 10s we all seek (if 10s can be said to exist)–either don’t exist, only date online for a short period of time, and/or date or sleep with photogenic male 8s and 9s. Few guys are going to pull high 7s and up online.
One principle I teach guys is: think like a girl. (I prefer to teach principles rather than rules, routines, and canned lines, because principles allow a guy to think through and solve his own problems.) Thinking like a girl means the guy has to be empathetic. Put yourself in her shoes…if you were a hot, 24 year old girl, a solid 8, what’s your life experience? At work, guys are hitting on you. On IG, guys are hitting on you. Sometimes guys hit on you if you go to bars or concerts or to the beach (although less often than we might think–most guys are pussies and won’t do a cold approach even if they want to, especially if they haven’t adopted it as a learned skill). If you do venture online, you’re matching with the very best of the best: hot 9 and 10 Chads who are also successful and have decent game.
If you know any hot girls, ask to see their OLD experiences, or their Instagram messages. If you don’t know any hot girls, that’s part of the problem to be solved, and that we’ll work on solving. Hot girls live in a world the average guy doesn’t understand, and maybe can’t understand.
As a man, if you could have sex with attractive women whenever you wanted, and women were constantly making themselves available to you, inviting you to events, talking to you when you went out, would you bother with the low brow nature of online dating? Of course not. For fuck’s sake, why? Why go through the process of meeting anonymous women who might flake, ghost, be really fucking weird, or deal with catfish, when you could consistently dick hot girls you met IRL, through work or school or other social connections–girls you know and had some rapport with? A: You wouldn’t.
Guys have to learn cold approach, and, preferably, how to build a social circle, if they truly want hotter, younger, tighter. If you want to go +1 or 2 of what you can normally get online of your SMV–and especially if you want to date the truly hot chicks, the high 7s, 8s, 9s, etc., you’re going to have to meet them IRL. Guys turn to day game or night game when they’re unsatisfied with the level of girls they can get online or by normal means. It’s why I did, and why I haven’t ever gone crazy trying to get chicks on the apps. I’ll have a crack at higher quality girls if I meet them via day or night game anyway.
Quality via OLD is going to be limited, unless you’re super attractive (and even then, there’s a numbers problem, because so few of the very hottest chicks, particularly the sane ones, are on OLD for long): most girls are going to be a 7 tops, and the vast majority will be 6s or below. Can you get the occasional 8? Sure, but just keep in mind, the hotter and more online she is, the more likely she’s crazy or has some major red flags/personality flaws.
The other way to crack the code is to cultivate an awesome social circle, especially one that includes ethical non-monogamy (ENM) and sex parties. Cold approach, social circle, online, and sex parties can braid together, each reinforcing the other and leading to abudance. The “social circle” is a thing you can make, and one that new girls can be slotted into. Most normal girls in normal circumstances need or want to spend 4–10 hours around you before sex, which is the origin of the “seven-hour rule.” All those hours can be one-on-one, but girls like guys who other people, and especially other girls, like. Can you demonstrate that? If not, why not?
Regarding sex parties and ENM, RedQuest and XBTUSD can speak more to that than myself, but there’s a powerful pull that happens here if you can bring girls to sex clubs or parties, especially if they’re young. Young girls are herion for sex–addictive beyond belief for all involved. There’s just something magical and pure about a woman under say, 25 or 26–an exuberance and energy that fades with time. They don’t have to be super hot…6s and 7s will do, but if you bring one with you to a sex party or club, that can get you access to hotter chicks. Maybe not for every guy, but if you’re secure with your masculinity, and interested in fucking A LOT of different girls, this is the way and the truth. Girls are also herd creatures, and if the herd is going to the sex party, they’ll come too, and do what everyone else is doing. Make fucking normal, and girls will fuck. If you want to read a story about how this is done, check out The Good Girl by RedQuest.
A big reason some guys get laid and others don’t is ACCESS. If you have access to hot girls on a consistent basis and you have your shit together to some degree (fitness, fashion, and some modicum of game), you’ll probably get laid. In other words, the guys who get the hottest chicks typically aren’t super Chads or the strongest players–they’re guys those chicks work with, go to school with, or inhabit the same social circle. If you DON’T have access to chicks in one of these ways, day or night game is your best choice, because, again, while it’s true some number of hot chicks are going to be online, it’s very difficult to access them for reasons of sheer volume. But the ACCESS principle is a great one to think about, because there may be other ways to access hot chicks that available to you, and if there are, you should explore them–for example, if you have enough money to own a wakeboard boat and take it to an urban river or lake on a hot summer day, you’ll have access to chicks you otherwise wouldn’t. “Ecosystem” and “logistics” are other terms guys online use when they’re talking about “access.”
On that note boys, happy hunting. And if you want help with this stuff, hit me up for coaching.
There’s never been a better time to be a player.