For many–maybe even most people–the internet is a scourge. Ironic, because almost no one sees it that way…until you ask them about it directly.
Are smart phones good?
Is social media good?
Do you feel like you spend too much time on your phone or looking at a computer?
What do you think about today’s politics?
And yet, while most people will give you answers like the above, nearly all of them will crawl back to the well of sorrow and purposelessness that is the common experience for people with access to these technologies.
Rules for thee and not for me.
As in: other people abuse social media; other people spend too much time on their phones; other people are wrong about politics; other people are hypocrites; other people are narcissists; other people blah, blah, blah…
But not ME!
It’s a good thing Jesus didn’t warn us about this 2021+ years ago.
Oh wait? He did?
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3-5)
I’ve been a bit opaque, so let me get to the point: if you’re addicted to your phone, obsessed about politics, find reasons to hate much of the world and other people and emote about it constantly on social media, and spend more of your time in front of a screen than you do in the presence of the sky, grass, sand, rocks, and trees, then guess what?
You’re going be miserable.
More importantly, as it relates to this blog: you’re not going to get chicks. Or at least, doing so is going to be a Herculean task. Because as Cyndi Lauper told us long ago in perhaps the most insightful song about women EVER: “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”
(Original attribution to RedQuest, who first made this astute observation about chicks and their red pill songs).
“That’s all they really want/Some fun.”
And to be quite honest, it seems an awfully large percentage of guys in the Red Pill and Game community are mean, cranky assholes–including myself at times!
Indeed, as I noted once on Twitter, until I really let go of my strong partisan political beliefs post divorce, I had no idea what an insufferable cunt I must have been to be around; it’s the reason I’ve made a concerted effort in the past few months to do fun things, enjoy life, and spend less time on social media and my phone–my obsession with game was killing me.
And despite the frame here, the primary aim in doing fun things and living a joyous life is NOT to get chicks. It’s for us–me and you. That’s what the jackass SJWs mean when they drone on about “self-care,” even though their ideology is itself one of guilt and misery.
But the concept is right: to do anything well in life, including game, we have to take care of ourselves first. We need to eliminate or at least reduce sources of negativity, while at the same time practicing stuff that makes humans happy. Moreover, we need to do something meaningful and good with our lives: this is the mission true red pill guys talk about (btw, it would seem most of the red pill guys have devolved into being whining babies who say very little aside from “whamen bad” or else post unserious memes to gain an audience, which is unfortunate).
First, what to eliminate or reduce:
Partisan politics are toxic–especially partisan media and social media.
TRP stands for “The Red Pill”, but it would seem that for a lot of guys in our space, it means TRUMP.
Like, we’ve got a dating coach in our community who actively spread conspiracy theories throughout 2020, bet a large sum of money on the election, and then stormed the fucking capitol and tried to hang Nancy Pelosi and Mike Pence because they wouldn’t overturn the results.
If that’s true: GOOD. We should all strive to help other people, and everyone makes mistakes from time to time, whether through true blunders or pure hubris–although in either case they should apologize and compensate the victims if possible, and/or be punished. No one’s perfect, and if you think I’m not aware of that, I’ll remind you I just quoted Jesus Christ and this is a blog about pick-up written by a man who’s a terrific sinner.
I’m not trying to tell you what you should believe politically: if you worship Trump, you worship Trump (and yes, worship is the correct word–there’s no other way to describe what’s going on at this point). I guess it is what it is.
And I’d say the same to the SJW/Wokies who suffer similar delusions and think Ibram X Kendi is Jesus when he’s really just a fucking moron, but I doubt very much they’re reading my shitty blog, because left wing guys don’t get laid–they get played.
But whoever you like–whatever your political beliefs–don’t let it make you a miserable cunt.
On that note, please observe the following:
- If you can’t defend any criticism of your political beliefs, and if everyone with whom you associate has to agree with you on a partisan basis, what does it say about the strength of those beliefs? Moreover, what does it say about the strength of the person who bears them? The answer in either case is: WEAK AND EMOTIONAL. Not good qualities, especially for a man.
- What good is constantly banging on about politics, whether on social media or in real life? How likely is it that these emotional outbursts (and again, I’m not immune to them) are likely to affect policy outcome or even change ANYONE’S mind? The truth is that 99.9% of the time, you’re just shouting into the void.
Beyond this, it’s a tremendously negative headspace to occupy. Politics are shitty. And most political programming, including what you’ll hear at a Trump or BLM rally (two sides of the same dumb coin) are designed to make you irrationally angry. Let me repeat that: THEY WANT TO MAKE YOU ANGRY BECAUSE IF YOU’RE ANGRY YOU’LL PAY ATTENTION AND CONFORM.
To bring this full circle: do you think girls want to talk politics?
NO! Girls just wanna have fun! Remember?
Seriously: all but the fattest, most miserable feminists would rather spend their time with you talking about puppy dogs and rainbows and laughter and joy instead of how the world’s going to hell because Tucker Carlson or AOC says so.
If you want to know my politics by the way, I’m a pragmatic centrist; seems to me everyone has gone fucking crazy, and what’s hilarious is that the delusions either the SJWs or Trumpistas point to on the other side exist in spades on their own: neither group believes in science or any consistent set of policy–it’s just being mad about different shit and pointing fingers and being terrific assholes. That’s it.
As Bill Maher said recently, we’re not a serious people.
And if that’s you, go re-read what Jesus said, and then come back.
Stop spending so much time on your phone–especially social media.
This is pretty self explanatory, but if the first impulse you have when you finish a batch of work or are lying bored in bed (guilty) or when you’re at the playground with your kid (guilty) or waiting in line or on the subway or drinking coffee at a cafe, is to scroll through social media on your phone, there’s a reason you can’t talk to girls.
Because you’re not present.
This is the great tragedy of social media and our smart phones summed up: they disappear us from reality–they yank us from the present moment and into the ethereal, shitty world of the internet, which mostly means hot, angry, dumb takes on Twitter or pretty girls on IG or Tik-Tok.
And that means we’re effectively robbing ourselves of all the authentic experiences we would have had from the time we’re old enough to own one of these devices to the present iteration of ourselves. Instead of talking to someone in line at the DMV, observing the way a maple tree loses its leaves, being bored and thinking about a cool opener for the girl in the pink coat on the bus, etc–we’re staring at the goddamn phone!
The massive rise in social anxiety, general anxiety, and depression we’re seeing coincides precisely with the introduction of smart phones and social media, and it’s not because any of that shit is real–it’s because people don’t fucking talk to each other any more or interact with their environment.
Get outside and explore nature.
Goldmund’s had an interesting evolution in the past couple years, going from camera game guy to right-wing high vibration (still not sure what that means) nature shaman, but he’s got at least one thing right, and that’s the nature part.
Whether going on a hike, skiing/snowboarding, fishing, climbing, rafting, collecting mushrooms, snowshoeing, swimming, etc–get out!
Even going on a long walk in the city or the suburbs has its benefits–and hey, why not talk to some pretty girls while you’re out and about? Like, that’s what day game is, and one of the reasons it’s so great is that you get to talk to girls AND get your dose of vitamin D and exercise.
In Japan they have a thing called forest bathing, and though that might sound hippie-dippy or a weird Eastern thing, it’s fucking smart. Seriously: go stand in a forest or a grassy field for 30 minutes and try to tell me you don’t feel better after.
Yet–especially with COVID–a lot of people rarely venture outside their front door.
To the larger point, you can be a pretty damn red pill bro: lifting, learning cold approach, reading, etc., but still end up spending most of your time in front of a screen and focusing exclusively on chicks and deep diving the manosphere’s numerous and mostly bitchy Youtube and Twitter content, with a heavy dose of tradcon and politics thrown in for good measure…which will make you a miserable cunt who can’t get chicks.
So what you need, on top of ignoring politics, spending less time on your phone, and getting outside is a…
Mission: the forgotten key to success as a man.
Last year I got a DUI–product of a drinking problem I’ve had most of my adult life.
But prior to COVID and game, I’d managed not to get into any trouble or have any crazy problems as a result, other than it not being good for my health or fitness–and even then I managed for most of 2018-19 to get below 15% BF, which is one of the reasons I had such a crazy good run with chicks during those years. Make no mistake: being super fit makes game WAY easier.
The reason, however, that the drinking finally caught up with me was that I had no mission. I had no larger purpose OTHER than writing this blog and trying to fuck chicks. And frankly, that’s no good. As human beings–especially as men–we need to build, create, master, conquer, teach, and/or learn something larger and more meaningful than eating, shitting, fighting, and fucking.
Yes, it’s great to make boatloads on crypto or collect a big ass salary as a corporate manager who has to do fuckall to make six figures, but if there’s nothing more, you’re living an empty existence. This is why I’ll sometimes bang on about the value of having children on Twitter, which apparently has no appeal to a lot of guys in this space–but the point is that having a kid will give purpose and meaning to your life in a way nothing else can.
And if you go an entire existence without doing that, you missed out on something fundamental to the human experience.
That said, if you don’t want to have children, DON’T. It’s a lot of responsibility and work. And it’s not the only way to bring meaning to your life. But whatever you do, you need to have something you’re doing or involved in that’s greater than yourself.
For me it’s been writing books, creating podcasts (yes, I did that for awhile and I’ll do so again), writing blogs, teaching, fly fishing, skiing, playing tennis, learning how to cook–and sure, for awhile it was learning cold approach and seduction. The mistake I made was that after I became proficient in Game I didn’t have anything else…
But now I have my coaching business on the side, I’m working on a new blog and podcast, and will start writing a new novel here in the coming year. I’ll still run Game–I love fucking hot chicks too much to ever stop until I get too old to do it anymore–but there’s more to me than that.
And you need that as well. Game can be one of your projects, but you need something else, even if it’s simply a hobby like surfing or table tennis or poker or board/video games. Yeah I said it: video games. The problem with video games is that because it’s in your house and you don’t have to go anywhere or do it, there’s the temptation to do nothing else. But provided you’re lifting, getting outside, eating well, talking to girls, etc, I see nothing wrong with them–I mean, let’s just be honest: today’s gaming systems and games are FUCKING AMAZING. Even I know that as someone who doesn’t partake.
The other thing that must become a part of your mission and will make everything about you better and more interesting…
One of the most common questions I get asked by clients and other guys is: how do I have better conversations?
Or: what should I talk about on a date? (BTW, clients will get a PDF that has that stuff, conversation starters, topics, threads, etc.–sorry not everything is free you fucking jackals…writing takes time, and time equals money, right?)
The last book you read. Or a character in a book that reminds you of the girl. Or something that happened in a story that’s still true today. Or a cool idea you read about recently in a non-fiction book on XYZ.
Get the point?
Of course, there are other things you can talk about–food, wine, booze, parties, vacation, travel, hobbies, local or national events (non political)–but even these things will be enhanced if you read more, or even at all. Reading makes you a far more interesting person, because not only are you developing your language skills, you’re also learning how to tell stories, gain knowledge, and interact with another person’s mind. There is a direct connection between how much you read and how much you know and can do, especially with your brain.
And that’s what good conversation is, right? Using your brain to talk about cool, interesting shit. Reading is literally using your brain to absorb and explore cool, interesting shit.
So read dummies. If you want a list of cool books to check out, here’s you go.
Think we’ll leave it there, but the overall point here is that if you don’t live a full, happy, worthwhile life, it’s going to be very hard to do well with girls. For all the practical reasons I described above, but also because women have a sixth sense for guys who “have their shit together.” Surely you’ve seen that on OLD, but all the stuff I’m talking about above is what they mean.
And as I was telling some players in a thread the other day, if you’re fit, make decent money, and manage to be a fun, interesting guy–you’re going to have your pick of the girls.
Much love my brothers!