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What girls should understand about sex and relationships, but don’t.

RP McMurphy
April 17, 2019

So I hear and see a lot of bitching from women online and elsewhere about how bad they have it vis-a-vis relationships. If you’ve seen any of this sort of stuff, you’ll see that the common theme is a complete inability to take ownership or agency for the situation. No, no–someone else needs to change their ways so princess can get the perfect Chad she’s been told she’s entitled to since she was a little girl.

Now the list I’m about to enumerate is no longer my situation (although 1, 5, and 8 still apply, 2-4 are partially true, and 10 is just a fact), but this is what most guys face if they haven’t studied game or swallowed TRP.

Imagine ladies, a world in which:

  1. You always (or almost always) had to be the aggressor–the person asking for permission, access, etc.
  2. Most of the times you try you’re rejected–often in a way that is insulting and capricious–even if you’re reasonably attractive. This is why I argue it’s a numbers game.
  3. On the street, you’re automatically considered a sexual predator, even if you are not one and have no such intentions.
  4. It’s a regular thing to have the opposite sex flake on you or ghost you–not just the one’s you’re especially interested in or want to date, but many if not most, for no apparent reason.
  5. You almost never match on SOD (swipe/online dating) with someone you’re genuinely excited to hang out with or attracted to–again, even if you’re a reasonably attractive person.
  6. You can’t get sex on a regular basis. Or maybe ever. Indeed, for many men, they have no idea when this will ever happen, or happen again. For these guys it is truly getting lucky.
  7. Often it’s the case that even though you can tell a person of the opposite sex likes you and wants to sleep with you, they won’t, for no rational reason.
  8. If you so much as ask for fair treatment or respect–i.e. a reply to a text, a response in a reasonable frame of time, a nod to the fact that you’re a human being who deserves some level of acknowledgment and credence–you’ll be laughed at, treated with scorn, or told to stop being entitled.
  9. Understand among all of this that men can have surprisingly low standards when it comes to women. Yes, some men are still picky–but most of today’s men are so pathetic and have so little game that they’re willing to go way below their SMV for some pussy. This is almost always the case with SOD with the exception of true Chads.
  10. Some percentage of the opposite sex–probably quite a large percentage–is so picky and unreasonable about what they expect that they almost never have sex and will certainly never have a long term relationship or marriage.

I’m not sure what women might think of those facts, but my guess is they don’t care.

The hypocrisy is that they expect us to care. Indeed, society expects us to care. It’s not something that would have ever occurred to me before, but post red pill it’s pretty clear that our society has a lot of expectations for men and very few for women.

For women, basically all we expect is that at some point they get married and that if they have kids they are good mothers (which is actually what would be best for most women anyway). Yes, of course there’s pressure to be pretty and/or fit as well, but that’s just inherent to the nature of being a woman–and in these days of open hypergamy where women only choose to mate with the top 20% of best looking men, I’d argue there’s as much pressure or more on guys to look good, even if most men don’t realize it.

For men, we expect a lot of things, many of which are good and necessary to be a successful person in life, but what I want to get into here is the expectation to “be a good guy.”

Let’s unpack what this means. Basically, “be a good guy” means: if you fuck a girl, you have to stay with her–you owe her something. That can range from paying for dinner to marrying her, but women and blue pill men all have this expectation that her giving you sex means you owe her some level of provisioning. And, if you don’t give it to her, you’re a bad guy–it’s an immoral act.

If you flip this, however, it’s not true for the girl–if a guy is provisioning for her, whether as a sugar daddy on up to a beta boyfriend to a husband, we don’t hold the woman to the same expectation, either with regard to providing sex OR fidelity.

No, if she doesn’t want to have sex then she’s under no obligation to provide it, and if she wants to leave, she’ll find some reason that it’s his fault and her girlfriends and white knights and society will gladly rubber stamp that decision as righteous and justified.

In this way, our society–which claims to want monogamy, marriage, kids, etc.–is basically rendering the whole thing obsolete. Why would any sane, intelligent, reasonable man ever want to get married under such conditions, or even settle down until he’s quite old? Any provisioning he gives to any particular woman is moot immediately under Briffault’s Law, and yet if the fool gets married, the state will likely force him to continue providing for the woman long after she’s gone.

That’s not to say marriage can’t work–some women do have enough self-control not to cheat on their husbands and some guys have a strong enough frame and game to prolong her attraction to him–but it’s a prospect that’s increasingly problematic and dangerous as time moves on.


Because with the rise of smart phones, social media, and dating apps, women–especially the hot ones–are inundated with options for dick, need more validation than ever (even if it’s fake shit on Instagram), and study after study shows that women naturally lose attraction for guys after between 1.5 and 4 years.

Additionally, today’s women are far less feminine than in previous generations–they’ve been told to wear the pants in the relationships and the current model of marriage is a beaten man getting bossed around by his wife, essentially no more than a servant who’s mission is to bend to her every beck and call. There’s no expectation that she care for and love him like in the past–hell, there’s not even an expectation that she fucks him once in a while. No, he’s lucky to be with her. She’s the better half and he can’t even explain why she deigned to marry him in the first place.

The irony: marriage is actually the best arrangement for a woman. If she finds a guy at her peak SMV, she can probably pull a dude who’s a point or two above where she’s at and she can lock him down before she hits the wall and begins that downward slide into irrelevance.

But you can’t tell that to a girl in her 20’s–you can’t even say out loud that women don’t get better looking after 25-30 without people getting pissed off about it, even though we all deep down know this to be a fact.

And so what’s going to happen? The next generation of women are so entitled–so inundated with male attention when they’re young and pretty–that they’re going to blow right past the wall, probably in the midst of one of their serial monogamous relationships, and not realize what’s happened or why?

She’s now 33 and still somewhat pretty (one of my cousins IS this girl, and there are at least another 20 or 30 in this state I see on Instagram or Facebook), but that window is closing faster than she’s willing to acknowledge, and yet she’s grown so capricious of male attention and has done so little to deserve/earn it because she was just born pretty, that she can’t bring herself to date most men. Even worse, she’s not feminine–she’s stoic, standoffish, lacks compassion, and isn’t used to bestowing attention on a man, because she’s been told all her life that she doesn’t have to and he doesn’t deserve it.

As every year passes, the building crumbles: she lacks the vitality and energy when she was young, can’t even bring herself to make an effort in her relationship or forgive a guy for a misstatement or mistake.

And at some point she’s off most mens’ radar entirely: I was at yoga this past week and a woman in her 40’s was talking to me and trying to flirt. I was nice about it, but the truth is she’s invisible to me–I can date hot, young women in their 20’s, probably for another 10 years, and then I can date women in their 30’s.

She was quite petite and still had a decent figure I guess, but she was invisible to me–to most men.

Anyway, my guess is a huge percentage of women fall into this trap in this next generation: they have a few amazing years fucking Chads in their late teens and early 20’s, serial monogamize into 30’s, and then bam, they’re past the wall.

What’s even sadder are the girls who focus everything on their career–I don’t begrudge women for being ambitious and wanting to achieve wealth and/or status in life, but what they don’t understand is no one cares.

Men don’t care: we value women for their beauty, or their relation to us. I care about my mom and sister, my grandmother, cousins, aunts to some degree. And I care about women who are hot. But the rest of the sex doesn’t matter–they’re invisible. So unless she’s a doctor who’s saving my life or a lawyer representing me in court, I just don’t care about a woman’s status or wealth.

And women don’t either. Women don’t measure other women by wealth and status–they measure other women by one of three factors in descending order:

  1. Their man
  2. Their children
  3. Their beauty/how well they fit in with society

Again, I’m not saying a woman shouldn’t strive to have a career, but becoming overly focused on that career, other than wealth, isn’t going to confer to her any real value in terms of how she’s perceived by society–and if you think I’m wrong, consider this:

Suppose there’s a woman who becomes the head of a hospital and buys a mansion on the top of a bluff near the city overlooking the river. She’s extremely rich and successful. She’s also 50 years old, childless, and without a husband or any regular romantic interest. Does anyone really care about this person?

The answer, sadly, is no. She’s invisible to men and she’s alone. So yeah, no one gives a fuck.

Well, that was one hell of a rant. Not sure exactly where I was going with that but I had to get it off my chest.

I guess what I’d say is that as bad as things are for most guys today, it’s still way worse to be a woman, because at least for dudes, time is on our side–and there’s a lot we can do to make ourselves valuable to the women, whether that’s attaining wealth and status, increasing our SMV by lifting, focusing on a mission, or learning game.

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Post Information
Title What girls should understand about sex and relationships, but don’t.
Author RP McMurphy
Date April 17, 2019 8:36 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Blog RedPillDad
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