Alright fellas, I have a bunch of posts in the hopper, but something that’s been on my mind recently is why EVERYONE, not just guys, is a bit frustrated with the state of the sexual marketplace.
For the “muh hypergamy” haters, this post probably isn’t for you–because the reason is hypergamy, relative to what men and women expect.
So, as most of us are aware, women only really want to mate with the best possible male available, and this is completely reasonable, as her offspring require a tremendous amount of time and energy to raise to adulthood. In other words, if she ends up getting pregnant with a lesser male’s child, it has very bad consequences for her offspring and therefore her DNA’s chance to continue as part of the gene pool.
For guys, it’s the reverse: genetically speaking, it behooves us to impregnate as many women as possible, because each child we father gives us one more chance to pass on our DNA. Now, granted, this doesn’t mean men aren’t selective about who we fuck, because it’s still the case that fucking the most fertile, beautiful women to which we have access is our best choice, and additionally, impregnating women who are old and/or unhealthy is a bad proposition for reasons I don’t think I have to explain.
What this means, however, is that men and women have very different levels of standards with regard to who we’ll fuck. Men will usually have sex with women 1-2 points below SMV–sometimes even lower, whereas it’s pretty rare to see women do this. No, for chicks, they’re looking to upgrade: they want guys at least 1-2 points above their SMV. Note the synergy here: guys are willing to date/mate down, but for the most part, women only want to mate/date up.
Todd V has a great saying that to have sex with a girl, she has to see it as a win for her in some form or fashion. This is true, and the reason it’s true is essentially what I’ve described above.
Now, in the past, when monogamy and marriage was far more prevalent, this was less of a problem: the top chicks paired up with the top guys, and then things kinda sorted themselves out. Fast forward to today, however, when fewer people are getting married and having monogamous relationships, and you might start to see why this is a problem.
Because in today’s sexual marketplace, women CAN regularly hookup with guys who fit what they’re looking for in biological terms: +1-2 points SMV. This is especially true with online dating and social media. Why? Well, as I said above, women want +1-2, men are willing to go -1-2, so there you go.
The problem is this: women want that guy to stick around. In our society, the general truth is still that women prefer to be in relationships–it’s more socially acceptable for them, and as far as they’re concerned, there’s no reason to be on the market if they find a guy they like and are sexually attracted to. After all, she can only get pregnant one kid at a time.
For the guy however, in today’s SMP, this makes no sense. Why in fuck’s name would we settle with a chick who’s 1-2 points below SMV–especially when there are lots of them who want to fuck us? A: no smart guy would.
And the higher you go in the SMP, the more this is true. The Chads we all like to talk about–guys who are male 8s, 9s, 10s–have tons of very attractive women who are lined up to date them; especially true if he’s good looking enough to do well on Tinder or other online platforms.
What this all boils down to is a scenario where chicks are chasing guys who generally won’t settle into an LTR, let alone marry them–the underlying sexual strategies of each sex being invariably at odds.
This is where cold approach and game come in–if we have good game, strong frame, and resources, we can meet girls on their level, so that if say I’m a male 7, I can get and attract a female 7, maybe even an 8. The irony of men learning game is that it gives us the opportunity to match up with women we might actually consider for an LTR or marriage, whereas in most other cases, the way women select men means it’s not going to be worth it.
Not sure if anything else needs to be said on this–as mentioned, just something on my mind lately and it’s helpful to get it out of my brain on onto the blog. I guess we’ll see if this changes at all after the coronavirus fiasco.