It might seem arrogant to deem someone as having low value, or low mate value. And, itâs not easy to be the âmeanâ girl, sitting there, evaluating a manâs mate value.
By mate value, I mean the signs that show a manâs overall value as a romantic partner. It also refers to his potential reproductive success. For example, a strong, healthy and confident man would most likely have more reproductive success than an unhealthy, lazy, unconfident man.
I know it seems unfair. But without me even saying it, we all make many (not all) decisions to be romantically involved with, or even be friends with day to day, based on how much value that person presents.
It happens everywhere around the world. And the best thing about it is that mate value can be influenced within ourselves. Our mate value can go up or down, if we want it to, and so can a manâs.
And women owe it to ourselves, to evolution, and to other women around her, watching her as an example, to choose good men. To help you choose a good man, here’s an article I wrote 10 Telltale Signs He is A Highly Evolved, Deeply Masculine Alpha Male.
No need to feel guilty about judging a manâs mate value…
Forget feeling guilty about it. Men evaluate women harshly too – and men understand naturally, that when they invest in a mate (ie: commitment), that she better be freaking good.
This is not our choice. Itâs what we naturally want, when we date: High value for our investment. A good catch, basically.
No man wants to willingly put his emotions, money, time, energy, resources into a woman who wants to show up low value. (By the way, there are exactly 7 signs a woman is Low Value in the eyes of men. Do you know what they are? Find out here).Â
And, women donât want to invest their time, energy, money, resources and emotions in a man who shows up low value.
The world isnât always kind. And thatâs okay.
Itâs okay to talk about mate value, and itâs okay to learn about what makes a human male or female, high mate value.
And, especially when just dating, you are always evaluating a man for his value to you anyway – in the world of love, this is a harsh truth that we cannot escape.
We donât want someone with low mate value, only because it doesnât serve us – and it doesnât serve the future generation.
The author Joe Quirk says something about women, along the lines of.. remember every time you choose a deadbeat you are influencing the future generation – not only in terms of your children, but youâre telling evolution that itâs okay to keep producing deadbeats, because women will take them.
Men evolve traits because women like it that way. Take the penis for example. It evolved to become larger because women picked men with larger penises.
So while you come with inbuilt âlow mate value receptorsâ, it also helps to gain knowledge and skills in the process of evaluating a man.
Now, every woman has different preferences. While one woman might want the leading males of the social group, others want a more submissive, softer male. Either is appealing to different women for different reasons.
(What Is The One Specific Emotional Trigger Within Every Single Man in this World That Inspires Him to WANT to Commit to One Woman, Want to Take Care of Her, Worship Her and Only Her?Â Click here to find out right now…)
What if you donât feel deserving of the highest mate value men?
For some women, they donât feel like they are deserving of the type of man they truly want, so they pretend they donât want him.
This post is here to hopefully help you make an authentic decision about what your body truly wants in a man. Itâs to say…hey, itâs okay to hold yourself as high value and not say: âIâll take any man. Beggars canât be choosers.â
Donât forget that Iâm just one woman writing this, and it is influenced by my own worldview and my research even if I try my best to be objective, so always be open to thinking critically for yourself and your future.
Which man you choose is the most important decision youâll ever make. And that is for the quality of your life!
It will influence your future health and happiness, and consequently, the future health and happiness of all your family and friends.
Disclaimer: a man can exhibit one or two of these signs and still be high value mate. Sometimes, he has a bad day or a bad period in his life. However, if a man continually exhibits two or more of these signs, then it could indicate a chronic problem of being low value.
At the end of the day, donât force a relationship for the sake of it, when you know in your body that you donât trust him. If you chronically donât trust him, chances are, other women wonât either.
Now, to be clear: it requires a good woman, who is not in a fearful state, to interpret properly; whether he truly cannot tolerate your ânoâ. Â
What I mean is, sometimes, we mistake a manâs intentions – and this is the rule for all women, not the exception, because you think with your womanâs worldview, and you see the world differently, acting from a different place than your man would.
This means that you unintentionally put your own meaning upon a manâs actions, and this is an entirely normal, human thing to do. And you could have been doing this throughout all your dating experiences, not realising that there are consequences to grossly misinterpreting menâs intentions. This is why smart women seek to appreciate and understand men first. Also, learn more about what men want from you here.
So how do you really know if he can tolerate your ânoâ or not?
First of all, tell him ânoâ whilst being totally connected to him. Donât do it for the sake of seeming higher value.
As a woman, itâs easy to interpret a manâs response as not being able to tolerate her ânoâ, when we are, in that particular moment, fearful or afraid of truly connecting with him or even just judgmental.
In effect, we think he canât tolerate it, but we pulled away from him emotionally before we could even have a chance to truly feel whether he is willing to accept our ânoâ.
So, what Iâm saying is this: provided you are totally present with a man, and he is totally present with you – and you havenât pulled away from connection or eye contact, and he also hasnât pulled away from connection in that moment with you – if you say ânoâ to being touched or grabbed, or say no to anything else, and he just gets angry at you for not giving him what he wants, then you can be pretty sure heâs being low value.
If, in response to you exerting your boundaries, or saying ânoâ; he wants to bring you down for it, and canât engage lovingly and playfully with you, or even laugh in enjoyment with you when you say ânoâ, then he might well have low mate value.
A self contained, great man will enjoy women saying no to him. Itâs fun. Itâs push and pull. Itâs a feeling of like âfinally, a woman who can push back!â
A man who feels like this is his last chance on earth ever to get some pussy might be more likely to get all upset or angry at you for saying no. Or, even call you names like âfrigidâ for saying no.
Itâs not only silly people like me who say this – scientists say it too. Putting a woman down is an insecure, low value manâs way of trying to keep her chained to him; reducing her self esteem; making her feel like her âother optionsâ in men out there are limited.
The smaller a woman feels, the better for a man acting small. The more a man can make a woman doubt herself, the more likely a small man can make his woman small and close to home, too.
And boom! Heâs secured his reproductive future. As I said, itâs not just me, some of the worldâs most powerful researchers have discovered this by studying humans in the dating market.
Women can get stuck in this situation where a man is often trying to beat down her self esteem because (in general), we tend towards feeling guilty more than men do – and some men sense this about women and can play on it.
They keep you “hookedâ in to relationship with them by inducing guilt in you. Donât play that game. Instead, poke him in the eye and run.
Iâm kidding. Just run.
Whatâs bad about this trait of low value in men is not necessarily that the man has this trait – itâs the fact that many women tolerate it. You get what you tolerate; so be an inspiration, donât tolerate being treated like a piece of shit on his shoe.
Everything is for show. I have trouble trusting men like this; as heâs not self contained and of substance, even if he has the potential to be. And every man has the potential to be.
How can you trust a man who spends more energy painting an image than he spends in his actual business?
How can you trust a man who spends more energy defending himself than he does revealing himself?
To be clear: itâs not a strict THING men do that makes them image focused. Itâs not, say, driving a Ferrari. Some men drive a Ferrari for the novelty of it. Some men go into huge debt or scam people to get the Ferrari for the image.
So itâs the place a man comes from inside when he does something. What’s REALLY motivating him? Often, a man who is image focused, canât stay connected, because heâs too afraid and feels too unworthy to connect. Heâs focused on image, because he thinks that will make him worthy of connection.
Men who spend money they donât have on nice cars, men who start businesses and never commit to it. Men who start a business for the image but drive the business into the ground within 5 years because, it was only ever there for their image, not for serving people. A surprising number of men do this.
Itâs harder for any of us, man or woman, Â to actually care about, and carefully build a business that adds value to its customers.Â
And just be warned. For some men; the business thing is just for show, to try to seem high status and get more sex and more women; but they end up in jail, or old and single.
Iâll be honest. I know of 3 men who have done this. Personally and professionally. One of them I never liked after meeting him at a Tony Robbins event, but he somehow kept showing up in my life.
Let me briefly tell you his story. He was posting images all over facebook with the women he hired at his “modelling agency”, with tag-lines such as “this photo never ceases to make me feel good about myself.” (WTH? Who says that?!)
He was luring potential employees into an “internship” deal, making them think they’d eventually get paid….but they didn’t. It was bait and switch, and he was being very dishonest. Boy, did he get in trouble for that. Eventually people found out. He tried to flee the country, but the police found him at the airport and he was fined and of course his company was liquidated.
And another “businessman” I know of is building a âcharityâ, but is actually on the dole, and living at home at the age of 31, and when you hear him speak about it and you watch the way he talks about women, which I have many times over, it is so obvious…the âcharityâ was a way to lure unthinking women in, because it gives them this image of not only âauthorityâ (owner of a business), but owner of a charity!
Donât we all love a benevolent man.Â
This is not being negative. This is being aware: We are mammals and have survival and sex driving us. Some of us are more driven by these things than others. Some of us are more driven by short-term gratification than others.
Donât fall for the image. Some men will risk almost anything, for sex and for the appearance of status; and status is still for sex; and power.
Look, 90% of male elephant seals die virgins. This is to say, hey, males want to get it in there. For a male who produces sperm and not eggs (like you and I), the feeling is not âthereâs plenty of sex everywhereâ, the default lizard brain (unevolved brain) feeling is that sex isnât that plentiful.
And the men who donât feel they have a lot of options, will approach sex and women as if itâs the last time theyâll ever get it. Ie: Milk the unsuspecting women (who donât see through their BS) of as much as they can, and then run. Thereâs a term for this: âpump and dumpâ.
I know none of this sounds very nice, but it is important that you are aware. With knowledge, you become powerful. As a woman, you naturally hold a lot of power when it comes to relationships, men and sex. Add to that knowledge of men, and youâve got more power than is fair, really.
Many male animals pursue a quantity strategy in mating: inseminate as many females as they can, and leave. Human males donât always do that (especially when they fall in love), but many also do do this.
They have this tendency written deeply into their limbic system. I donât find this a bad thing; itâs just a fact. And because I understand all men have this written in their limbic system; I appreciate that itâs there for a reason.
The good thing is, a lot of men also donât do things this way; there are lots of men out there who are deeply into commitment, and partnership. Â Just because itâs in the limbic system, doesnât mean all men actually operate this way day to day.
But the men who spend most of their resources and energy on their image?
You can see it in the men I just described. For them, it doesnât really matter if they end up in jail ONE day, because theyâll get away with doing what they do for as long as they can; and even if they are jailed, at least having the âimageâ of high value, high status opened up sexual opportunities for them. Opportunities which they took, of course.
Sometimes,Â out of fear, he will chronically choose less than average friends. That is to say that he hangs with friends who are at the same level or below him. Sometimes it is because he feels mediocre, and because of that, his ego feels afraid at the thought of associating with people who are âaheadâ of him.
The key: Look for whether heâs open to opportunities to befriend high value, high status men. The key is his level of openness to befriend other (more successful) men than him.
Just because he has deadbeat friends doesnât 100% mean he is being low value. He could be in transition, from certain friends to new friends, or he could be trying to influence his friends to become better.
There are men out there who purposefully never make friends with men who are better than him; as he doesnât feel good enough, and wants to hide from the reality and the challenge of making something of his life.
The thing is, thereâs nothing wrong with doing nothing with your life. As long as you own that choice. If a manâs direction in life right now is to do nothing, then thatâs at least showing substance. Heâs willing to sit with ânothingâ for now. I think the problem is when you do nothing with your life, yet think thatâs wrong or bad; and pretend you are doing lots.
A man who feels infinite inside yet does so called ânothingâ is still ok. Because a man who feels infinite will naturally add value to the world. A person who deliberately chooses to stay small for their own entertainment (eg: stay small and comfortable, but make everyone else out to be the bad guy), is a worry.
Now if youâve got a really great man, itâs inevitable that at some stage, some of his friends might not be as accomplished or as genuine as he is and thatâs normal; but Iâm talking about a manâs active desire to befriend people who are at a level below him.
Iâm talking about him actively avoiding getting close to, or having conversation with any man who he might perceive as âbetterâ than him.
When we feel like weâre not enough; and weâre happy to settle for that exact feeling in our lives; never striving for more, we want to put others down. And we put others down because we need to; to maintain our place of comfort. To maintain our familiarity with the feeling that âI am not enoughâ.
If instead we brought others up, weâd have to acknowledge that the place weâre at is not ideal…and sometimes, thatâs too painful.
So, criticism, putting others down is the tool of a man who feels scared, who doesnât want change, who likes to stay small, and who sees the world from a place of scarcity. Other peopleâs success is at odds with his own.
I believe a truly successful man (or woman) is willing to learn from others; and knows that if someone else does well, it is an indication of what is possible for him, too.Â
You don’t want a man who is so out of touch that he, not being attuned to your feelings, pours out all his money and lavishes you with gifts – without really knowing you; but attempting to buy your love.
You also don’t want a man who is so un-attuned to you that he seems to withhold everything of value: connection, attention, and money for example.
Ideally, you would have the gift of feeling a man gradually becoming more generous with you. And he’d gradually open up to feeling safe enough to share his resources. But, sometimes we unknowingly get involved with a man who is stingy in general.
This really isnât about money. I know it seems like it is about money. But think about it. If a man is not generous to any degree, what is this a reflection of?
Itâs a reflection of how he feels about the world, the resources available in the world, and itâs a sign that he doesnât feel confident taking charge and being resourceful.
Of course, we can forgive a younger man for this trait, because sometimes it takes time to learn not to be stingy. Unfortunately, some men do hold on to their stinginess. It sticks with them.
A man who doesnât feel very capable will be more stingy. A man who isnât generous keeps himself small. If he is stingy, he may not be a very resourceful man, as well. There are exceptions, of course, and it is contextual. So if a man was once stingy, it doesnât mean he will always be stingy.
Of course, there are degrees/levels of generosity. He doesnât have to pour out his money, attention, time or intellectual thoughts like water out of a tap.
Itâs about his openness to sharing a piece of himself or what he has. Itâs up to you to gage what level of generosity youâre comfortable with.
A woman who is okay with a man being stingy is letting him stay small, and it will also influence you – if you spend enough time with him, you will also stay small and think small.
You want a man so resourceful that he inspires you to become infinite also. This is the thing Iâm most grateful for in my man. I was way stingier than him. He taught me otherwise. Iâm blessed and humbled by him every day (insert 1,000 love heart emojis here).Â
(By the way, I’ve just published my brand new DVD titled “Becoming His One & Only!”… and right now it’s FREE for you to get a copy. Click HERE to find out more details and how you can get your man to fall deeper in love with you and beg you to be his one and only)
Your body doesnât lie. And I donât mean, because he has food in his teeth, or bad breath. No need to stay with a man because your logical thoughts think you should be more âopenâ to the idea of giving more men a chance. No need to be too nice.
Remember, every time you let a man in, thatâs a âvoteâ for what traits will be continued in evolution. Your body knows.
If all else about him is A grade, but you canât sleep with him without feeling sick, then all youâre really doing is trading sex for his resources.
Nothing wrong with that, many women have made it work like that in the past, and then dumped the man.
Just remember though, that mate value for a man includes three umbrella factors: Genetic value, provider value and spiritual value. Now, genetic value includes health, and provider value includes things like social value, generosity.
Either way, a man can have great spiritual value and provider value, and be of below average looks and a woman wouldnât mind.
But if he is a 10/10 in provider value and spiritual value, but your body is closed off to him because your eggs are screaming âno!â to his sperm, then youâre just being dishonest to everybody.
Also, here are 5 Telltale signs he has Crippling Low Self EsteemÂ
That’s all from me today.
As always, love and blessings to you all!
P.S.Â Connect with me on social media
Our new Facebook Group is hereâ¦Â Join the âHigh Value Feminine Womenâ Community using this link
TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog The Feminine Woman.
|Title||7 Burning Signs a Man is Being Low Value|
|Date||October 26, 2016 7:17 AM UTC (7 years ago)|
|Blog||The Feminine Woman|
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