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How to Make Him Miss You in 5 Simple Steps

Renee Wade
August 23, 2020
how to make him miss you

How to make him miss you badly? 

On one hand, this seems like a manipulative question. 

On the other hand, not so much. 


Because if you truly want a man to miss you, it probably means that you want him to be invested in you. 

…And thatâs perfectly normal.

5 simple steps to make him miss you (…Backed by psychology & research examples).

If you see your desire to answer the question âhow to make him miss you?â as a way of making sure that your relationship brings value to his life and yours, then thatâs ok.

If on the other hand you are trying to make him miss you just so that you alone can feel more âsignificantâ or important, that may not work out so well for you.

This is because itâs only about you. When we do things in a relationship to get something for ourselves – thereâs nothing wrong with that per se. But if thatâs our sole focus most of the time, then we do have to pay a price for that.

The price is that when we take too much for ourselves, the quality of the relationship goes down.

What are the two critical elements that will make or break your relationship with a man? These are the two critical elements here.

You have to have the right approach with men. 

With the right approach, you can add value to your man and to the relationship. When you add value to the relationship basket, thatâs when youâll see things go your way.

When you try to extract attention and validation for yourself, because you feel deeply insecure, then you will erode the trust inside of that relationship.

How to make him miss you psychology: Itâs all about your approach

If you approach this as a chance to create mutual attraction and attachment between you both, you will have a much better chance at succeeding at making him miss you badly. 

And he will be thankful for missing you. Heâll be thankful for having you in his life.

Not only that, youâll have a much better chance of sustaining a long-term, passionate relationship (something that doesnât just fizzle out completely after 3-6 months together.)

In this article, I will show you specific, Psychology-backed ways for how to make him miss you.

If you follow these steps, you may just find that your man cannot stop thinking about you!

how to make him miss you

Here are the ways of how to make him miss you, in 5 simple steps.

STEP 1: Create novel experiences together with him

To make a man miss you and yearn for you, there will have to be a component of romantic love and emotional attachment to you, inside of him.

In other words, he will miss you more and pine for you more, if heâs in love.

If a man is not in love with you, then you’re probably not a whole lot different from other women in his life. If this is in fact the case, then itâs going to be hard for him to miss you deeply.

He might miss you as a resource for sex, but he wonât miss the soul-to-soul connection you have.

(Just in case you didnât realise, a man missing you as a resource for sex isnât really missing you. Itâs just him holding onto you as a resource. Of course, that holding on will pass when his one and only comes along.)

You can read more about that in my article “Why Does he Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?”

How to make him miss you psychology: he must be in love with you, not infatuated with you

Now, by âin loveâ, I donât mean infatuation. And I donât mean lust.

A man being infatuated with you is not worth much to you long-term. The feeling of infatuation doesnât make a man commit to you.

Emotional connection and emotional attraction do.

Infatuation is more of a one-way street. Infatuation is defined as âan intense but short lived passion or admiration for someone or something.â

A man admiring you can be more about your radiant feminine beauty or the fascination he has around the things you do that are different to what he does.

Even if an infatuated man tells you “I miss you”, that doesn’t mean he means it.

Many men have gotten very good at using words to seduce women. An infatuated man won’t really miss you because he has any real emotional attachment to you.

Instead, he might just yearn for the feelings he gets when he’s admiring you.

On the other hand, a man feeling romantic love for you is the beginning of a pair bond.

That’s right, romantic love is necessary for a real pair bond to exist. A pair bond is necessary for a man to feel emotionally attached to you (and therefore be liable to miss you badly).

If you would like to learn more about making a man fall in love, then what I would recommend is for you to learn how to become a man’s ‘one and only’ (and not his one of many!).

That’s where all of your answers lie. If you would like to learn the 5 secrets to have any man fall in love with you and BEG you to be his ‘one and only’, you can find out more here in my new program “Becoming His One & Only”.

a genuine pair bond can make him Really miss you

A man feeling romantic love for you is much more reliable than anything else. This is because he is forming a pair bond with you (provided you also love him and itâs not a case of unrequited love).

Donât mistake romantic love for just a passing infatuation or lust.

Yes, romantic love can wane over time. Research shows that romantic love lasts on average 12-18 months.

However, the anthropologist Helen Fisher through her research on the brain in love, has indicated that it can last much longer, depending on the circumstances.

And it lasts longer when there are factors like adversity in that coupleâs life.

Adversity, like external events keeping them apart.

Adversity, like their families not wanting them together.

Adversity, like going through difficult challenges together.

Your job is to have him fall in love, then he will naturally miss you

Since most men have a masculine identity, they are by default more detached than women.

This means that in dating, you canât expect men to be attached like you would be.

If youâre not dating and youâve already formed an attachment with this man, then youâre already halfway there.

If you want a man to miss you, itâs a good idea to focus on the emotional attachment he has to you.

And of course, becoming his âone and onlyâ woman. When youâre the one and only, that means heâs fallen in love with you, and then he has every reason to miss you, and it will be natural, not contrived.

You wonât have to rely on leaving a pair of knickers or a jumper with your perfume on it over at his place, and hope that that will just make him miss you. No.

Because when youâre a manâs one and only, he will invest absolutely everything in you. That is emotionally invest in you, mentally invest in you, physically invest in you and financially invest in you.

This is because youâre different from the others. 

He would want to be with you emotionally first and foremost, not just sexually. In fact, he will be so attached to you that itâs going to be very hard for him not to miss you.

Research has shown that some 78% of men and 83% of women said of their beloved that knowing that their beloved loved them in return was enough for them.

In other words, these men and women felt that being with them emotionally is enough. They donât need to have sex with their lover or romantic interests.

Yes. even men.

How to make him miss you: create elevated levels of dopamine & norepinephrine

Elevated levels of the hormones dopamine and norepinephrine are associated with romantic love.

You may know that dopamine is a hormone that is elevated in our bodies when we get excited or when we do novel things.

When a man is in love with you, he will see you as novel, and different from all the others.

In order to âcreateâ this heightened level of dopamine and therefore increase his feelings of romantic attachment to you, you can do something novel together. 

In other words, you need to build novel experiences with this man.

So, before he goes away somewhere (or you go away somewhere), perhaps you want to do something you have not yet thought of. Or something that you wouldnât normally do.

What would constitute something novel?

Something that involves the perception of danger. Like jumping on some kind of rollercoaster together. 

Walking over a creaky, unstable old bridge together. 

Perhaps exploring somewhere new and foreign to both of you, somewhere youâve never been before.

Build memories together that will be worth missing you for!

âDanger makes the heart grow fonderâ

Have you heard the saying that âdistance makes the heart grow fonderâ? 

Well, researchers have pointed out that danger makes the heart grow fonder, too. This is because danger is related to the production of adrenaline in our bodies.

Adrenaline is closely related to the hormones dopamine and norepinephrine, which are the hormones heavily involved in producing and sustaining feelings of romantic love.

Laboratory experiments have confirmed that feelings of attraction can be increased through doing novel things together.

Something as simple as walking across a creaky, unstable bridge can cause men to feel heightened attraction for women. There was a study on this and you can read more about it in the book âWhy we loveâ by Helen Fisher.

To conclude the first step of how to make him miss you – make an effort to do novel things together. 

Actually allow the feelings of romantic tension and romantic attraction to develop, because you want a man to feel like you are âdifferentâ from all the others.

Remember, to men, you are either in the âone of manyâ woman basket, or âthe one and onlyâ basket. In order to be the one and only, he must feel that youâre different from the others, he must focus on you as if it is effortless for him to devote all his emotional energy towards you.

If you would like to know the 5 secrets to have him fall madly in love with you and make you his one and only for life, check out my program âBecoming His One & Onlyâ. You wonât regret it, I promise!

How to make him miss you

STEP 2: Give his masculine soul the gift of appreciation

Appreciate him as a man. Give him the gift of appreciation for his effort and hard work.

This doesnât have to be hard work related to you. It could be hard work related to his own career, his own goals or just the hard work he puts into anything he is truly passionate about.

Remember that men like to be appreciated more than they like being cherished.

Being cherished is kinda nice for a man (in theory), but it wonât make him feel much for you. 

Heâll feel a lot more attached to you if you could speak to what his soul wants.

And almost every masculine soul needs and wants appreciation.

Most decent men work very hard to try to do the right thing. Yes, I did say decent men. Some men couldnât care less about doing the right thing. (See my article on 10 Seemingly Harmless Signs of A Toxic Relationship

Decent men do care about doing the right thing. They donât typically want to let their family down, or their woman down. They want to be good at making you happy.

In fact, a man who is falling in love will do almost anything to make a woman happy. 

Here are the Two Traits of Women that Men Routinely Fall in Love With.

And that takes a type of physical effort and resourcefulness that women may not directly relate to. 

So, take the time, notice what he works hard at, and be that woman who can give his masculine soul the gift of appreciation.

give yourself the gift of missing him

STEP 3: Allow yourself the gift of missing Him

You may not have expected this one.

But this article is about how to make him miss you in 5 simple steps, right?

I consider allowing yourself to miss him pretty simple. At least the idea of it is simple.

When you want to make someone else feel something for you, you think itâs a one way street. You think that you should only make them feel a certain way.

Not so!

It pays to give yourself the gift of missing him! 


Due to the fact that if you are giving yourself the gift of missing him, then obviously there is some space in the relationship.

With that space, your heart will grow fonder. When your heart grows fonder, (provided you donât live in fear of abandonment or fear in general), you will yearn for him more. 

Hereâs a popular article that might help you: How the Fear of abandonment can Make You More Beautiful.

This yearning you feel when allowing yourself to miss him will inspire a response in him.

It will inspire him to come close to you and become more emotionally attached to you. This is because your soul, your heart and your body, wants his.

You canât just ask one soul to pine for another. You want two souls pining for each other.

And if you donât (if you only want to make him miss you but you never miss him), then Iâm sorry. Perhaps you need to reconsider whether you really want to be that self-centred and manipulative.

This is what creates a truly quality pair bond, and not just some weird relationship where one person is trying hard to just make the other person want them all the time. Perhaps due to insecurity or fear.

Soul-to-soul connection

STEP 4: Give him what other women canât

Think about this for a minute. What can you give the man you love that no other woman can?


Hah. No. 

The simple act of sex isnât too hard to give, and there are women who are available for easy sex if a man tries hard to get it.

What is ONE thing you can give a man that no other woman can?

A soul to soul connection?

The gift of your unique feminine energy? (That will light up his masculine soul)

Your radiance?

All of these things are important.

One thing you can give a man that no other woman can is a soul-to-soul connection.

What is that?

A soul to soul connection is a connection where you feel like someone else knows you, and you know them. Deeply and intimately.

So to do this, youâll have to know and appreciate the differences between masculine and feminine, and youâll need to have a deep understanding of the masculine perspective.

I know a lot of people out there will tell you that you donât need to understand men. That men should understand you.

Yes, of course men should understand women.

However, thatâs not the way to influence a man to give you what you need!

You canât just sit there waiting for everyone else to give you what you want first. Thatâs called time wastage. Itâs also called being small.

Meet him where HE is at

You have to first meet a man where HE is at. Understand why he does things, what he perceives value in, and let him know that you âgetâ him.

Unless of course, youâre in a physically, mentally or psychologically abusive relationship with a man you donât feel safe with.

If youâre with an otherwise healthy man, inside of a healthy relationship, thereâs probably not too many reasons why you canât give him understanding first. 

Remember that smart women seek to appreciate and understand men first. 

This is why you should discover the secrets of the masculine perspective so that you can get through to any man, connect with him heart to heart, and inspire his deepest loyalty and commitment. 

How else can you inspire men to feel a soul to soul connection with you?

Banter! Thatâs right, banter.

Why? Because high value banter is a key for building romantic tension (especially in online dating), and banter is a gateway to deeper conversations with men!

Banter is a way to speak to men on their level, remove their defenses, and get them to open up and connect with you beyond the small talk.

Itâs playful communication. Playfulness is key to building real connection with men. It works because youâre not asking them to commit to a huge in-depth conversation before the conversation reaches that point (or perhaps just because you feel ready for it).

Instead, you give him a chance to feel connected to you before you guys go there.

When you both mutually banter together, it opens doors to the deep connection and conversation that you want as a woman. (I wish Iâd known this earlier. If I had, then perhaps I wouldnât have tried so hard to have deep conversations with men years ago when I was dating!) I think I annoyed at least one of them to the earth and back. 

STEP 5: Actually be authentic

Who do we miss when theyâre gone? 

People who touched our soul. People who are uniquely themselves and who could never be replaced.

People with that quirky but fully authentic laugh that lit up the room (unapologetically).

People whose imperfections are so well etched into their personality that their very existence feels like a work of art. And their presence feels like a blessing in your life.

Donât get me wrong. Weâre all unique. We just donât all express our uniqueness fully, and unapologetically.

Some women and men are pretty replaceable in general, because they donât inspire any deeper connection, respect or trust in others. Theyâre much like any other person who comes and goes from your life.

You feel no need to think about them, yearn for them, or give to them.

Not only that, they also donât show up as the kind of person that other people would easily love and commit to.

How to make him miss you: don’t be replaceable

When dating men, at least with the good men, you donât want to be replaceable.

What are people who are replaceable and who easily come and go from your life? 

People who are always surface. People who canât go deeper, because theyâre always looking for the next bit of instant gratification.

Or perhaps also the people who canât admit to or deal with their insecurities, so theyâre always working hard to hide behind them. This hampers their ability to be authentically themselves.

We all have a unique gift; a unique touch. 

We just donât all embody that, because we are afraid, or we are hiding away. 

Donât hide away. Remove the masks and allow all parts of you to come to life!

It’s ok to let go and allow yourself to be seen. Fully. ð

Donât be the kind of woman who is out to trick men

Another thing that ties into the point of actually being authentic.

Letâs be honest for a moment here. Thereâs a lot of women out there who are out to trick men (and women, in order to be more competitive). 

They want to hide their real selves, their real face, and their real emotions, because they simply donât feel comfortable with them!

I donât blame them. After all, the bulk of us have been through the traditional schooling system. And through the schooling system, we learn that we are not really that great unless we are ârightâ, or unless we fit in.

We are taught to know it all, to “achieve” to get by.

We are forced to fit in with peers (many of whom couldnât give two sh*ts about us). Some peers of whom are also low value and may not be worth it.

So, of course we turn into inauthentic people. Weâve had to cover up so much just to survive!

But honestly? Smart men know exactly when a woman is hiding away. 

Whether that be hiding away her real looks by never having the freedom to take her makeup off (or never going without it). Or hiding away her real emotions by always manufacturing some kind of environment where she doesnât have to feel them.

It is only the men who only want the sex you can offer who wonât mind you being fake. Otherwise, any red blooded, connection-oriented male will nor care for a fake woman.

So stand out and be authentic. Be the woman that your man always remember and feels attached to, for how real you are.

Youâll be memorable not just to your man, but to all men.

Men want what is REAL

Men want whatâs real. They do not like being lied to by women who are trying to fake their way through the mating competition. This is one reason why many men prefer women without makeup, and many women prefer makeup.

Because men donât want to be tricked, but women feel they have to hide, or they want to trick men. Perhaps because they think they can win the competition of getting a good mate that way. 

No matter how hard you try to fake a lifestyle, an emotional state, or a certain look, fake is almost never valuable.

Itâs fun to use makeup and dress up. But itâs really not fun to feel chained to your makeup due to fear of not being worthy of love.

Fake is only valuable to other fakes

Fake is valuable to other fake men.

If you want to know how to be more authentic and know how to be a man’s one and only, let me show you how you can do that here.

To real men who will be liable to form an emotional bond with you, what matters is your authenticity.

Donât be afraid. Be who you really are. Feel what you really feel.

He will connect with you and bond with you. Heâll also miss you because youâre too precious to let go. He will want to hold on whenever youâre apart.

So it’s at this point that many women ask themselves how they can make a man feel that way about her? It’s not too hard at all. There is actually one specific emotional trigger within every single man in this world that inspires him to WANT to commit to one woman, want to take care of her, worship her and only her. Do you know what that is? Find out this one specific emotional trigger here.

How do you make your man miss you? What are your ideas? Share below what has worked for you. The best people we have to learn from is each other!

Thanks for reading. Wishing you all the best.

renee wade

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog The Feminine Woman.

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Title How to Make Him Miss You in 5 Simple Steps
Author Renee Wade
Date August 23, 2020 2:59 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Blog The Feminine Woman
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