How can you test him to see if he cares about you?
Testing is imperative when youâre dating a man, and hereâs why.
Because it is during the beginning stages or the dating stages that men and women have to pass each otherâs tests.
In fact, in the early stages, everything is a test of our value! Man or woman.
This is because a potential mate or partner has to prove to be worthy of your time, effort and energy.
In the beginning, you havenât overcome enough obstacles together yet, and you havenât fully proven your value to each other yet.
It is natural to suss each other out and tp prove your value to each other.
Without tests, you would never know if the other person is worth your investment or not.
In fact, most women donât test enough!
This may seem like Iâm saying that dating is a game.
Well, it is. Itâs actually the love game.
And the love game is natureâs only game, according to some experts on love.
But donât see this as something to worry about. Itâs really not as bad as you think. Just see it as a new piece of information and let it sit with you for a bit.
- Itâs a good thing if you want to test a man…
- How to test him: Use the having a bad day test.
- How to test my potential boyfriend? Hereâs how you test his value…
- Does He Care About Me? How to know if he cares & values you.
Itâs a good thing if you want to test a man…
Iâm saying all this just to let you know that itâs actually a good thing if you want to test him to see if he cares.
Itâs also a good thing if you want to know how to test him to see if he loves you.
Whether heâs your boyfriend already or is just a new date, thereâs likely a good reason why you want to test him.
As long as you test in the right way. The last thing you want to do is test a man in a mean and nasty way (which I trust youâre not here to do).
I will first teach you how to test your boyfriend. This will help you if youâre already in a relationship.
And then, I will show you how to test him in dating, before he is your boyfriend.
How to test him: Use the having a bad day test.
One way is to test him to see if he cares, is to use the âhaving a bad dayâ test.
You tell the guy when youâre feeling unwell, down or having a bad day. And then you ask for his company.
The point of this is to take any sexy talk (or even the act of sex) out of the picture, and see if heâs willing to offer the gift of his emotional presence and company.
Emotional energy and presence is one of the hardest things for a man to offer a woman. Especially for men who arenât serious about you, and the ones who only want one thing: sexual access to you.
Does he have to come over to your house to pass the test?
No, he doesnât.
To pass the test, all he needs to do is give you the indication that heâs willing to give his presence and company (or even advice if you need it), and then follow through with it.
You guys could talk about your bad day over a phone call, video chat, or at your house (if you guys are at that stage).
Yes, this means that you can use this test even if you are in a long distance relationship.
Is he serious about you or just keeping you around?
A man who isn’t serious about you will not pass this test. Hereâs the difference between when heâs serious about you or just âinterestedâ.
A man who just wants sex, approval, attention or validation will not pass this test, either.
How will he show it if he doesnât actually care about you?
Moreover, how will his actions show that heâs not really serious about you?
His actions will tell you he doesnât care when itâs clear that he does not actually give a damn about whatâs bothering you.
A man who doesnât care about you will not care to meet you where you are at emotionally.
In other words, if youâre having a bad day because youâre feeling under the weather, or because something horrible happened at work, and he does NOT show that heâs willing to be on the same emotional page as you, then he doesnât pass the test.
One of the signs he cares deeply about you is that he has empathy for you, or he is willing to try to have empathy for you.
(Not all men are inherently skilled at understanding a woman’s emotions, because they are men and their experience of the world is different to ours. So we have to respect that too, and have some patience.)
A man who cares about you, will have empathy for you. A man who doesnât will find it very hard to give you empathy. In fact, he may actively avoid it.
The best he could do would be to try to fake it.Case study: Learn how Kristin went from being completely burnt out with online dating, sick of getting ghosted and completely exhausted from giving her heart and soul with nothing in return… To having high value men begging for her attention & having the most “electric” date of her entire life.Â (…All by changing one simple strategy.)
How to execute the “bad day” test…
So how can you accomplish this test in action?
Tell him youâre not feeling 100% for whatever reason.
It could be due to a bad work day, an injury, or even illness.
Tell him you just need to share whatâs going on, what happened and ask him kindly if he will listen.
You can also invite him to call you, talk with you or come to your house to just connect with you or be with you (without any sex involved).
Make sure itâs clear that this is about your bad day and not about sex.
Our goal here is to take sex out of the picture and see how he responds.
If youâre unsure whether this guy is actually wanting a relationship with you, I recommend you read my article on the 6 Burning Signs He Doesnât Want A Relationship With You.
This test won’t work in this scenario…
Disclaimer: I also want to put a disclaimer here: if you are the kind of woman who has abused her boyfriend in the past, this test will be harder for you to accomplish.
It will also be harder for him to âpassâ the test.
Women who repeatedly take, take and take value from a man will eventually wear down any feelings of connection and attraction he has for her.
Can you guess what happens when the attraction and connection wears down?
The man will value you and the relationship less. The relationship inevitably breaks down.
If you want to know how to keep your relationships passionate and remain “tight” with a man for the long term, I recommend you check out these 5 must follow rules for dating and relationships for women.
What are the two critical elements that make or break your future relationship with a man? Find out here.
So, this test isnât meant to be another excuse to kind of âabuseâ a guy. Itâs an innocent test that every woman should use, if she actually cares for him, and wants to take her relationship with a guy to the next level.
How to test my potential boyfriend? Hereâs how you test his value…
If youâre just dating a guy, here is how you test him to see how high value he is…
You need to use a concept called high value banter.
In fact, if you currently feel like he is pulling away and doesn’t care about you, here’s a one word phrase you can text him.
This one word phrase will test him to see if he’s willing to show up for you.
Now, more on high value banter…
If you want clear-cut examples that you can copy and paste, get them now from my wonderful husbandâs free high value banter class here.
If you read the part above on how to test him to see if he cares, youâll remember that a man passes the test if he shows that heâs willing to be on the same emotional page as you.
Well, high value banter will work in the dating stages in a similar way…
Here is why high value banter works to test him
Hereâs what high value banter does for you in the dating stages.
It shows you whether heâs a high value man who wants to connect with you, or whether heâs going to be a toxic, abusive man that you need to avoid.
So, it achieves the purpose of testing men to see if they care, even in the dating stages.
Of course we arenât asking them to really care deeply about you, youâre essentially strangers to each other to begin with.
What we are doing, is testing men to see if they care about connection. This is so crucial.
Finding out whether he cares to connection or not, will make all the difference in you figuring out whether he has to potential to commit to you, or whether he’s just a f*ckboy.
Why Test Him To See If He Cares To Connect?
In online dating and real life dating, itâs essential for you to quickly figure out if his intent is to connect or not.
Let me explain simply.
A man who isn’t here to connect will just waste your precious time.
High value banter is a way of communicating with men online and in person.
It is designed specifically for you to form a real connection with the right, high quality men whilst repelling and eliminating the low value men quickly.
Now, a man not responding to your high value banter is a definite red flag.
If he cannot pass the test dished out by you through banter, heâs a bad egg.
The reason for this is that men who donât respond (or at least try to) respond to your banter are not there to connect with you. Period.
And remember what youâre dating for?
Thatâs right! To make a real connection.
Weâre not doing it to pass the time or to fumble around in the dark, all the while tolerating abusive behaviour from men.
Weâre doing it to form a solid sense of emotional connection with a man that will lead to you forming a lifelong, passionate committed relationship with him!
If youâre interested in the top dating red flags you must be aware of, read my article on the top red flags in dating.
What Does High Value Banter Do To Low Value Men?
High value banter works because it will help you put men on their metaphorical back foot, to see how they respond. Especially the low value men.
Low value men will take your banter personally and even attack you back (even though you’re only being playful).
Banter is meant to be playful and build emotional attraction with men.
The high value men will often play along with your banter and connect with you more. These are the men who aren’t hung up on themselves and their ego, and who aren’t abusive.
Narcissistic, manipulative men will fail the test of high value banter miserably, because they need too much control, and take themselves far too seriously.
Hereâs an article on the 7 Signs A Man Is Being Low Value.
You see, every low value man, and every abusive or narcissistic man has a typical pattern through which they date women.
They have somewhat of a manipulative, uncalibrated habitual âscriptâ that they go by in order to âsuck inâ the women who may be feeling desperate.
Their dating habit is designed by them unconsciously or subconsciously in order to suck in women who are willing to be abused and to take crumbs. (And lots of women fall for this particular tactic).
So I recommend you try out playful banter.
If they respond positively, they are a high value man.
If they respond negatively, then thank your lucky stars that you dodged that bullet!
If they care to continue the conversation and banter along with you, thatâs a sign that they value attunement. And that is absolutely priceless for you.
If youâre interested in using high value banter, take my husbandâs free class on high value banter right here. Thereâs plenty of examples in there to help you get started.
Do you know the dark art of âHigh Value Banterâ that helps you quickly weed out the wrong types of men and create emotional attraction with the “BEST of MEN”? CLICK HERE to learn how in this free class.
Does He Care About Me? How to know if he cares & values you.
Hereâs what to do when youâre not sure if he values you or not…
If you are feeling unsure about how committed he really is right now, then listen up.
Itâs important for you to deeply know and feel whether a man values you as a woman in his life, or not.
You see, a man chasing you and a man valuing you are very different things.
A lot of women assume that if a man chases them, that this must mean that he cares.
Just because a man chases you or gives you attention, doesn’t mean that he cares, or that he wants to know your soul.
Men chase you for many reasons. A lot of them can be bad reasons. I cover this in my article “How To Make Him Chase You & Value You: High Value Women Secrets.”
Sometimes, men will chase just in order to not lose you. A man can chase you or show “interest” in you, just because he wants to have you around, whilst putting in the bare minimum of effort.
But that doesn’t mean he values you!
You donât want a guy who just hangs around in your life. You donât want a guy who just simply chases you when you pull back or contact him less.
You want a man who values you. Remember that when a man chases you, he could be doing it to take something from you.
On the other hand, if he actually values you, he will want to know your soul.
Heâll want to devote every last inch of himself to you, forever.
Always remember that men will give everything to their âone and onlyâ woman, and give crumbs to their âone of manyâ woman.
This is because men place women into two categories when they meet them. The category of the one and only, or the one of many.
If youâd like to learn more about becoming his one and only woman (or to see if youâre his one and only or not), check out âBecoming His One and Onlyâ.
Thatâs all for this article. I hope you enjoyed reading it and that you got lots of value from it. Until next time…take care of yourself and be kind to yourself.