Flirting with a coworker creates a private world between you and her.
There is a private understanding that both you and her find each other sexually attractive and that there is sexual tension building up between you and her.
You can flirt with women based on what you say, how you behave and how you use your body language.
In this video, I’m going to give you examples of each of those.
So, let’s start with example number 1.
1. Create a private world between you and her
Back when I didn’t understand how to attract women, I was working in an office.
A new girl started working there.
She was of Latvian descent, so the country next to Russia.
In other words, she was a pretty girl.
She was tall, she had a fairly good handful there and had a nice rear set up as well.
She was a nice package and I was lucky enough that she sat next to me.
Yet, I didn’t understand how to attract women.
Back then, I thought that a woman will like you if you’re good looking enough and if you’re not good looking enough for her, she’s not going to like you.
So, when she sat down and we started to talk, I talked to her in a neutral, professional manner.
I had no idea back then that you can actually make women feel attracted to you as you talk to them.
So, when she sat down and we’re introduced, I was just like, “Hey, how are you doing? Welcome. Where are you from? What’s your name? Blah, blah, blah.”
Nothing that I was talking about was creating a sexual spark with her.
However, my friend, who sat across from me, an Indian guy, he had a different understanding of how attraction works.
Essentially, we were sitting in cubicles, the cubicles separated our desks and were above eye level in terms of height.
So, if you wanted to talk to each other, you had to stand up and say something and then sit back down.
When sitting next to each other, there was the lean back and have a conversation sort of thing.
Now, my friend, who I’ll change his name for the sake of this story and privacy, was Danesh.
Now, Danesh understood how to attract women.
So, instead of talking to this new girl in a neutral way, he started flirting with her right away.
Then, he created a private world between him and her that eventually led to them going out on a Friday night, two weeks after meeting each other and then hooking up, having sex and starting a relationship.
So, what Danesh did is that he stood up and introduced himself to the new girl, but did it in a flirtatious way.
Rather than just being professional and saying, “Oh hi, I’m Danesh. How are you doing? What’s your name? Oh, nice to meet you,” he said something like this (in a confident, but playful manner) instead.
“Hey, how are you doing? I’m Danesh. What’s your name? Nice to meet you. You’ll enjoy it around here. It’s a good place to work at. You seem to be a bit of a troublemaker though. You’re not going to start causing trouble around here, are you? You seem like a bit of a mischievous one. No? Alright, okay. Well, good to meet you. I’m going to get back to work. Talk to you later.”
Then, about an hour later, he stood up from his desk and looked at her and said, “You causing any trouble over there?” and then she had a laugh.
There was a private world beginning to form between him and her that wasn’t just about being professional and talking to each other in a neutral way that had no flirting involved.
In addition to being professional and getting on with doing his work, what Danesh did, is that he continued the playful banter with the new girl at times.
He would add some things in.
For example: A couple of days later, she walked in wearing a new jacket and it looked really cool.
She looked like a stylish, hot girl.
What Danesh did, rather than just saying, “Oh, nice jacket. Wow, that looks nice. How are you today?” is that he sat there at his desk, smiled at her and watched her walk in.
Then, a couple of minutes later, a scrunched-up piece of paper flew over his desk and landed on her desk.
What he had done, is that he’d wrote a note on a piece of paper that said, “Hey…nice jacket. Really suits you. How are you today?”
She then flirted back with him by saying, “Thanks. I don’t like your shirt, though. It doesn’t suit you :P”
They continued the note throwing back and forth and made sure that no manager saw them doing it.
Eventually, it led to this…
Danesh said something along the lines of, “I’m hungry. I wouldn’t mind eating a burger right now.”
She then said, “No, I’d prefer to eat some chocolate fudge. That’s my favorite.”
So, what did Danesh do then?
Two days later, when she walked into work and sat down, he walked over to her desk, didn’t say a word and just placed chocolate fudge on her desk.
It was wrapped in a nice plastic wrapper.
I looked at her at that point and she was smiling from ear to ear and blushing.
That happened to be on a Friday.
That Friday night, they went out for drinks after work, hooked up and then they stayed together the whole weekend.
Now, for me, back then, I had no idea how my friend had pulled that off.
I actually started to think, “Oh well, she must like Indian guys. That must be her thing.”
Yet, later, I found out that he was the first Indian guy she ever hooked up with.
Additionally, when I asked him to show me what they were writing back and forth, when she went to the toilet one time, it really didn’t make sense to me how they would be talking to each other like that in a professional environment.
I didn’t understand how they could actually have that sort of banter and where it was coming from.
I was thinking, “Well, they must have a natural chemistry. This must be their style.”
Yet, what I didn’t realize back then is that my friend had created that dynamic with her.
He had created the private world between him and her by immediately talking to her in a way that included some subtle flirting based on his body language and his behavior.
An important thing to point out here, is that you don’t need to throw notes back and forth between you and a woman to be flirting with her.
Flirting can be very discreet and it can be based on your body language, which I’m going to give you examples of right now.
2. Use your body language to keep the flirting discreet and professional
Flirting doesn’t have to be obvious.
Flirting can happen on a very subtle, discreet level via body language.
So, what you need to do is be confident around her.
When you can see that she is feeling attracted, give her subtle, discreet looks that show your interest in here.
For example: Let’s say that a guy is working in an office environment and there’s a girl there that he wants to attract and flirt with.
How can he do it?
What he needs to do is make sure that he continues to use professional body language, so he still maintains his professional identity in the workplace, but when he’s interacting with her, he also needs to add in some flirtatious body language to make her feel attracted and let her see that he is able to create that private, discreet world between him and her.
When the woman that you’re flirting with flirts back at you, what you can do is level it up by using what I call the Tongue on Tooth body language expression.
This might seem a bit weird to do on camera, but when you do it with a woman that you’re flirting with, it makes total sense and she knows what it means.
So, the Tongue on Tooth body language expression is where you place the tip of your tongue on the second last back tooth on the right hand side or the left hand side on your mouth.
It doesn’t really matter which side you choose.
That type of body language expression is a little bit cheeky and it signals to the woman that you are aware of the sexual attraction between you and her and you are also aware that there is a private world developing between you and her.
In some cases, the woman will smile, laugh and then ask, “What? What does that face mean?”
You can then say, “Nothing. We’re just smiling. Now let’s get back to work.”
What happens then, is she realizes that you’re able to maintain a private world where nothing needs to be spoken.
You don’t actually have to say, “Hey, I like you. Do you like me? Do you want to go out sometime? Are you interested in a relationship? Are you looking for a boyfriend at the moment?”
You don’t need to ask her any of those things.
Instead, you’re using the discrete language of flirting, which women know how to do.
Pretty much every woman knows what flirting is and how to do it and they love it when a guy has the ability to flirt with them and create that sexual tension based on the subtleties of how they interact with each other.
3. Step up the flirting when you’re not in the workplace
When you flirt with a woman and make her feel sexually attracted to you, it builds up sexual tension between you and her.
At some point, the sexual tension needs to be released via kissing and sex.
So, don’t leave it for too long.
In some cases, a man and woman can flirt with each other for many years and end up hooking up.
However, in most cases, if a guy waits too long, she finds another guy.
She hooks up with another guy, gets into a relationship and potentially, he finds another girl and gets into a relationship.
So, if you’re flirting with a woman, there is sexual tension between you and her and you’re not worried about hooking up in the workplace and the consequences of that in terms of your job, then go ahead and meet her outside of the workplace.
That might be at Friday night drinks with coworkers, it might be at a work function that is a bit more relaxed, it might be your friend having a birthday and you invite her along to that because she doesn’t really have much to do on the weekend, or it might be you and her going to a sports game that you both have a mutual interest in.
For example: You and her might be interested in football, ice hockey, basketball, or whatever. Maybe tennis or something like that.
You talk about the tennis match that is coming up, or the football match and then you ask her if she ever goes.
You then say that you are interested in going and invite her out to that as well.
So, you might be talking about the football game coming up and you might say, “Hey, it’s going to be a really good game this weekend. You interested in going or what? We should go. We should go check it out. Go Hawks or Go Tigers” (or whatever team you barrack for or root for.
Then, when she comes to meet you wherever you are meeting her, give her a compliment that includes some flirting, rather than just being neutral and talking to her like a friend.
So, if you met up with her at a football game, rather than her arriving and you saying, “Oh, hi. How are you doing?” or “Oh, hi. You look nice today. I’m looking forward to the game,” and just being a neutral friend, you can give her a compliment that includes some flirting.
“Wow, someone looks pretty today. How are you doing? It’s going to be a good game. High five” and immediately get the physical touch barrier broken between you and her.
Alternatively, if you’re meeting her at after-work drinks, you might need to be a bit careful about openly flirting with her in front of other coworkers, depending on what type of environment you work in.
In some work environments, it’s totally cool for coworkers to hook up with each other, get into relationships and even just casually date each other, whereas in other work environments, it’s a big no-no.
So, you need to assess that for yourself and adapt your approach.
For example: Imagine that you work in a work environment that is kind of okay with coworkers hooking up, but doesn’t want to see it happening in front of them.
In that case, you would subtly flirt with the girl that you like and then, at some point, you would say to her, “Hey, let’s go to the bar and get a drink,” so you can have alone time.
Then, after about 5-10 minutes, you would say, “Hey, let’s go out and get some fresh air,” if there’s a balcony or outside area.
You and her can then go and stand out there, kiss or at least get a little bit physical.
Back when I first started to figure out how to attract women, I actually did that myself.
There was a girl that I was flirting with at work and we went to Friday night drinks with coworkers.
Her and I were flirting back and forth and there was that flirtatious banter.
Then, I said, “Hey, let’s go and grab a drink at the bar,” and we stood there and had a chat and it was just the two of us for about 5 minutes.
Then, I said, “Hey, let’s go outside and get some fresh air.”
Then, pretty much right away, when we were out in the balcony, I stood in front of her, looked her in the eyes, put my arm around her lower back where the small of her back is and she then put her arms over my shoulders and it was on.
We started kissing.
Learn More?
Okay, I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you’d like to learn more, I recommend that you read my eBook The Flow or listen to the audiobook version The Flow on Audio.
The Flow is the easiest way to get laid or get a girlfriend.
It’s a step-by-step approach that you use when you meet a woman to make her feel attracted to you, connect with her and then get to the next level with her.
Alternatively, if you just want to learn about conversation and you want to go deep into the topic of conversation, I have another program called The Ultimate Guide to Conversation.
This program features Ben and Stu as well.
They are the other coaches here at The Modern Man.
We give over 70 examples of how to start a conversation, we give loads of examples of how to keep a conversation going and keep it interesting and we also explain how to attract a woman during a conversation, make her want you, make her love you and so on.
Flirting really is the shortcut to attracting women and making them want you in a sexual way.
Once you understand how to flirt with women and you start doing it, you will realize that most of the women you meet feel attracted to you.
As a result, you then start to feel confident and begin to enjoy your choice of woman because you’re able to attract the kinds of women that you previously couldn’t attract.
What you then realize, as you begin to attract and sleep with higher quality women, is that you have been good enough all along.
It’s just that the approach you were using with women wasn’t actually making them feel sexually attracted and turned on during a conversation.
Yet, when you use flirting and other techniques to make a woman feel attracted to you during a conversation, then sparks start to fly.
You are able to make her feel attracted to you, connect with her and then get to a kiss, sex, date and into a relationship, if you want that as well.
