5 common reasons why a woman will cheat on a man instead of breaking up with him are:
1. She wants to have a replacement guy ready to go, to avoid being seduced back into a relationship with him
If a woman finds herself in a relationship with a man that she is no longer attracted to, she won’t always just come out and say, “It’s over. Goodbye.”
Sometimes, it’s not easy for a woman to break up with a man (e.g. because they live together and he won’t move out, he is controlling and manipulative).
In other cases, sometimes a woman just doesn’t know how to break up with her current man because he always manages to convince her to stick with him by sweet-talking her.
For example: A guy might seduce a woman back by promising her the world and offering her what she wants if she gives him another chance (e.g. to get married, have children, go on a holiday, buy her a ring, do whatever she wants).
He might say to her, âThereâs nothing I want more than for us to be together. I want to marry you, so please give me another chance so we can get engaged. I love you and you love me, right? Letâs not let a silly misunderstanding get between us and destroy what we have. I promise that things will be different from now on. You’ll see. I am going to make you so happy from now on.â
Then, weeks or months later after getting her back, he breaks his promises and reverts back to his old behavior.
At that point, she might have gone through with an engagement party and been congratulated by friends and family, gotten pregnant or committed to him in some other way (e.g. moving in together, getting a mortgage together).
Now, she feels stuck with him and doesn’t know how else to get rid of him than to break his heart by cheating on him and getting serious with the new guy.
In other cases, if the sex between them was always amazing, a guy might use that as a way of getting her man.
He may show up at her house under the pretence of discussing their break up and then seduce her into sleeping with him to make her change her mind.
She has an orgasm, loves being physical with him again and falls back him love.
She then gives him another chance, only to eventually discover that it was a mistake because heâs still stuck at the same level he was at before (e.g. he’s still manipulative and controlling, selfish, unreliable).
So, to prevent that from happening to her, she will find herself a replacement guy before breaking up with him.
In this way, she will have some added protection in the event that he tries to seduce her back.
Another common reason why a woman might cheat instead of breaking up isâ¦
2. She hopes that it will make him hate her and not want to be with her anymore
Sometimes, a woman will know that if she tries to break up with him normally, he won’t accept it and would make it difficult for her to leave him.
For example: If a woman is really soft and finds it difficult to say âNo,â she may fear that if her guy starts begging, pleading or crying and saying things like, âPlease donât leave me! You know I wonât be able to cope without you. I need you. I promise to do better. Just give me another chance,â she wonât be able to leave him.
Alternatively, in a case where a man and a woman own a house together, share the bills and possibly even have a child or children together, she may be afraid that he will try to manipulate her into staying with him by saying things like, âIf you go, the kids stay with me,â or âIâm not going to get stuck with all the bills, so you need to sort out your side of all the payments before moving out.”
So, to prevent herself from being controlled by him, she cheats on him and hopes that he will feel so hurt by it that he will break up with her and demand that she exit his life completely.
Another common reason why a woman might cheat instead of breaking up isâ¦
3. She’s an untrustworthy woman
Some women are just bad people.
The same goes for men.
Most people are good people, but there are some bad eggs out there.
For example: Some women actually enjoy lying to, hurting and cheating on men as they get in and out of relationships.
For a woman like her, the drama and chaos of a relationship is more important and enjoyable to her than being in a committed, loving relationship for life.
So, no matter how great a guy might be, it just doesnât matter to her.
She is going to end the relationship by creating drama at some point or another.
It’s inevitable.
She will eventually put herself in a situation (e.g. going out with her girlfriends, using dating apps, working somewhere where men will hit on her, spending time away from her man) where she can cheat and ruin the relationship.
Itâs just her way of going about life and thereâs not much you can do about it.
The same applies for women who try to tame men who always cheat and don’t want to settle down.
The guy might be faithful to her for a while, but if he comes across an opportunity to sleep with another woman and get away with it, he usually will.
Likewise, if he is getting bored of being with her, he will intentionally put himself in situations where he can cheat and then end the relationship.
So, it’s not that women are bad and can’t be trusted.
Instead, it’s that some people are untrustworthy and you just can’t rely on them to stick by you in a lifetime relationship.
I know this from personal experience too.
I broke up a relationship with my girlfriend after a year because I noticed that she enjoyed lying and creating drama.
I’m glad I left her, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have met my amazing wife who I trust with my life.
Plus, my wife is even hotterâ¦lol.
Anyway, back to you and your exâ¦
If you truly believe that your ex is an untrustworthy woman who will happily stick a knife in your back when given the chance, donât waste your time thinking about her, or looking for ways to get her back.
A woman like her is unlikely to ever change her ways and she will probably always lie, cheat and deceive you no matter how amazing of a man you are.
So, just cut your losses and focus on finding yourself a good woman who deserves a great guy like you.
Another common reason why a woman will cheat instead of breaking up isâ¦
4. She wasn’t really ever committed to the relationship anyway
Sometimes, a woman gets into a rebound relationship (i.e. the relationship she has immediately after breaking up a long term relationship) to make herself feel better, but doesnât intend to actually stick with it for life.
Even though the guy might have serious intentions towards her, she will be thinking things like, âHe makes me feel good after how badly my ex treated me, but heâs not the kind of guy I plan to settle down with. Heâs not really my type, but heâs sweet, so Iâll stick with him for a while until someone better comes along.â
Then, when another guy comes along who sparks her feelings of sexual attraction (e.g. because he’s more emotionally manly, doesn’t give her all the power in the relationship), she doesnât think twice about cheating on her sweet, nice guy, because she doesnât have deep feelings for him anyway.
Alternatively, a woman might simply not like the idea of being single and feeling lonely.
So, rather than going through life alone, she regularly hooks up with new guys who show her lots of love and attention.
In the back of her mind, she is thinking, âHe’s not my perfect match, but will do for now. At least I have someone to hang out with, go to parties and weddings with and even have sex with. I’ll stick with him until something better comes along.â
When another guy comes along who makes her feel more attracted, she simply cheats on boyfriend instead of breaking up with him and moves on without a care in the world.
Another common reason why a woman might cheat instead of breaking up isâ¦
5. She wants him to react in an unattractive way, so she has another reason to leave him
Sometimes a woman hopes that by cheating on her guy, he will then completely lose control of his emotions (e.g. get angry with her, become aggressive or even violent towards her, cry and beg for her to stay, bombard her with desperate text messages).
She can then say to him, âLook at yourself. Are you proud of your behavior? Do you think that’s going to make me want you back? Youâre out of control! You scare me now. You need to leave me alone and get some help. You’re crazy. It’s over between you and me. Never contact me again!â
She’s implying that the break up is all his fault (i.e. because he lost control of his emotions), which then allows her to move on and feel like she made the right decision to cheat on him and leave.
5 Mistakes to Avoid if Your Ex Cheated on You Instead of Breaking Up
If you really love her and want her back, it’s up to you whether you want to give her another chance.
Some guys can handle it, whereas other can’t deal with the fact that she has slept with another man.
It really depends on your relationship, how much you feel like the cheating was your fault and how confident you are in yourself (i.e. you don’t see other guys as being better than you because you are so accomplished in life or a very cool guy, the sex between you and her is always amazing and you know that another guy wouldn’t be as good as you).
So, if you want to get her back, go ahead and do it, but be sure to avoid the following mistakes.
1. Seeking pity from her for how much the cheating hurt you
Trying to make a woman feel pity or guilt for the emotional pain that she has caused you only pushes her away even more.
Why?
A woman doesnât like to feel like sheâs being manipulated into giving her ex another chance, simply out of a sense of duty for having hurt him the way she did.
Even if a woman does feel bad for cheating on him, she usually won’t feel compelled to give him another chance purely based on guilt.
So, if you do still want to get your ex back who has cheated on you, donât play the pity card on her.
To get the best outcome, focus on re-sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you, so she feels drawn to you again.
That way, she will have a reason to give you another chance that feels good to her, rather than feeling like she is being forced into giving you another chance because you feel so sad, hurt and disappointed.
The next mistake to avoid making isâ¦
2. Getting very angry at her
Itâs perfectly normal for you to feel angry and betrayed after being cheated on by the woman you love.
Itâs even totally fine for you to express your feelings to her.
However, getting very angry and losing control of your emotions (e.g. shouting, calling her names, pushing her around or even hitting her) is not going to convince her to come back.
Instead, it will just give her an excuse to use your behavior against you and make you out to be the bad guy instead (e.g. she’ll say that she’s scared of you now, she’ll get a restraining order with the police, she will say that she can’t look at you the same way now that she has seen you lose control and get angry like that).
So, be calm and in control when you express any emotion to her.
The next mistake to avoid making isâ¦
3. Insulting her by calling her names
You might feel justified in calling her a slut, whore or bitch and let’s face it, maybe she even deserves being called that by you.
After all, you’ve most likely been a good guy to her and feel like you don’t deserve to be cheated on or treated in that way.
Yet, as you would know, calling her names isn’t going to get you and her back together.
Instead, itâs simply going to make her see you as a guy who is unable to handle the challenges of life like a man (i.e. you lose control of your emotions, rather than maintaining control when under pressure or in challenging situations).
So, as tempted as you may feel to insult her, just maintain control of your emotions and don’t say it.
Show her (via your actions and communication style), that youâre not threatened by what she did.
You are disappointed, but you’re not seeking pity and you’re not losing control of your emotions by getting very angry.
She did what she did and it is her mistake, not yours.
You’re not the bad person here.
She cheated on you.
So, what you need to do is focus on your good qualities and believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her.
At the same time, if you want her back, be willing to forgive her and make a fresh start with her.
The next mistake to avoid making isâ¦
4. Demanding that she tell you all the details of how it happened
Why put yourself though the mental and emotional pain of knowing exactly when she kissed him, how good he was in bed or if she had an orgasm or gave him a blowjob?
Those are horrible things to be focusing on if she is the woman you really love.
So, if you want her back, I recommend that you don’t focus on that.
Instead, just know that no other guy is better than you in the bedroom.
Believe in yourself and your attractiveness to her.
If you doubt it, you will be insecure, which will make you feel like crap and will turn her off.
So, be confident instead.
Believe that you are the man and that no other guy is as good as you in the bedroom.
Funnily enough, that’s what a woman want you to believe about yourself anyway.
She doesn’t want you to say it though.
She just wants you to believe it, so you can then behave and act in a confident way in the bedroom.
The next mistake to avoid making isâ¦
5. Willingly accepting being cheated on just to spend more time with her
Sometimes a guy just doesn’t want to let go of his woman, even though she betrayed him by cheating on him.
So, he instantly forgives her for the cheating and puts up with her continued bad treatment of him, just to get to spend more time with her.
Yet, giving her that kind of power over him actually makes the situation worse.
Why?
A woman wants a man that she can look up to and respect, not a guy who is willing to crawl around after her, picking up any crumbs of interest she gives to him.
Additionally, if a man is willing to keep putting up with her bad behavior just to get to spend time with her, she will likely cheat on him again.
For example: She may think to herself, âWell if heâs letting me get away with it once, why not do it again? Clearly heâs not man enough to do anything about it, so I will keep him around for now and cheat on him again soon.â)
Donât let that happen to you.
Make sure that you don’t hand over all your power to her, just to hopefully spend a few more hours or days with her.
Be in the position of power.
Make her feel (don’t say it) that she needs to prove to you that sheâs worthy of your love and attention and not the other way around.
How?
When she can see that youâre not going to be a push over with her anymore (i.e. let her get away with how she behaved), she will naturally start to feel respect for you again.
It’s not about being angry, sulking, controlling or overly domineering or anything like that.
Instead, it’s about respecting yourself and not being a doormat for her to walk all over.
Be good to her, but be even better to yourself.
If you do that, she will naturally feel some respect for you for not being a wimp about the whole thing and sucking up to her.
From there, you can build on her feelings for you again and get her back.
Just remember: If you decide to take her back, you will need to completely forgive her so you can move forward together with a clean slate.
If you don’t think that you can do that, I recommend that you sleep with a new woman or two first, so you can even the playing field.
Whatever you do though, make sure that you completely forgive her and let the cheating go, so you and her can have a healthy, committed relationship from now on.
As long as you deepen her feelings of respect, attraction and love over time, she will most likely remain loyal and be even more loving and attentive because you were man enough to forgive her and give her another chance.
