Don’t Save Her – She Does Not Want to Be Saved

The “Damsel in Distress” is a powerful cultural myth

Titanium Vulture is an author, filmmaker, and contributor to The New Modern Man.

Gents, here’s something to think about if you haven’t figured it out already. The Disney fantasy of the female protagonist being rescued by her dashing prince charming is, for the most part, just fiction.  Although many of these tales where inspired by folklore from the history of man, I can’t help but feel there was some kind of agenda to place the women of these stories front and center.

The damsel in distress.

How many times have you or someone you know gotten pressured into helping some dame move her shit up several flights of stairs?  Or maybe she wants a shoulder to cry on.  The princess DEMANDS she be served.

During the days of chivalry, being kind and courteous to a lady was seen as an aspect of the honorable knight.  It was the knight’s responsibility to come to her rescue should danger, be it man or beast, were to transpire against the fair maiden.

Fast forward to today…many males have fallen far from grace.

I say males instead of men because, in my opinion, eager-beaver-dudes ready to save a random chick from a rational thought, the truth, or “the patriarchy” are nothing more than White-Knight Manginas.  They are not men.

The damsel will not respect a mangina.  A nice summary of the mangina definition is quoted below from Urban Dictionary:

Someone who espouses feminism but is really being suckered into a form of chivalry in which women’s interests take precedence over men’s. Unaware that they are merely “useful idiots”, doing what women want in the vain hope of getting laid. When his usefulness is over she tosses him out with the rest of the rubbish.

Yep, we’ve talked about male disposability before.  But its even more insulting when we demean ourselves by willfully going through the trouble of “rescuing” the object of our desire.  The idea that the woman is just waiting for you to ride in on your horse and save her from, well just life really, sounds absurd to me.

Here’s the secret:  she does not want to be saved!

I’m a life-long fan of hip hop music.  One of my favorite artists in recent years is J. Cole.  He’s producer and rapper that talks about the damsel in the song “No Role Modelz.”  The lead-in to the chorus has some interesting insight:

One time for my LA sisters
One time for my LA hoes
Lame (dudes) can’t tell the difference
One time for a (fellow) who knows

Don’t save her, she don’t wanna be saved

Women want the “fantasy” of being rescued by their knight in shining armor.  But in real life it’s actually the barbarian that gets the girl.  While the knight’s armor is rusting in the rain along with wilted flowers, the real man is nailing the damsel upstairs in the tower.

The barbarian does not do shit for the damsel.  Not even a rescue.  He just comes in and fucks her.

I’ve been the white knight.  I’ve been the barbarian.  Having played both of these roles, I’ve come to the realization that chivalry, by and large, is not rewarded in our current society.  I believe in being kind for the sake of being kind.  But if someone fucks with me I don’t take their shit.  That goes for both males and females.

I’ve taken my oath and will now aspire to be a dark knight.  One whose armor, while a little dirty and scuffed, still protects the heart of a king.  I will be kind to people.  I will serve.   But men and women will be treated with the same value.  No more of that Disney bullshit.

Gents, I urge you to do the same.  Peace, and stay focused!