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An Interesting Comment

The Private Man
February 24, 2012

An Interesting Comment

This comment was recently made on one of my older posts. It’s kind of long so I have redacted some of it to get the juicy bits. The phrase in bold stands out as the money shot.

I agree with almost every thing in this blog post, especially with regard to masculine & feminine.

HOWEVER, with regard to the idea of âwomen should give and their men will give back to themâ â¦that has always backfired on me. I am a woman and tremendous giver. It is my natural state to give. I am this way with all my friends, my sister, even strangers. I am a nurturer. However, in all of my relationships, I wind up being a life coach, secretary, housekeeper, social events coordinator, loan officer, mother and resume editor and a whole long list of other âjobsââ¦while the guys give almost nothing back and to top it off are barely ever âin the moodâ. I get sick of begging for âit.â I canât understand how anyone only wants to be physical once a week or less often. Then I get fed up, depleted, exhausted and end the relationships. And they are always like âwhat?!?! Youâre unhappy?!?! Why didnt you tell me?â But the thing is I did tell them, explicitly (as in: I need this, please do itâ¦usually relating to screw me more often or at least letâs go out sometimes or get your life together, I cant keep being responsible for all our decisions and financing them)â¦.but apparently, my being unhappy and telling them how to fix it, didnt bother them. But when I dump themâ¦.then itâs youâre the most amazing woman. Please come back. I am so sorry. I should have treated you betterâ¦.blah, blah, blah. But by that point I cannot imagine being with them as I am so thoroughly done.

The other one (5 yrs older than me) was never in the moodâ¦I think he just had low libido from what he told me about his past relationships.

I am very often the essence of âtoo niceâ and all I get for it is taken advantage of (financially, emotionally), neglected or taken for granted. Now, none of these guys ever yelled at me or hit me or cheated on meâ¦but I still wasnât treated âwellââ¦I was always giving, desperate for their attention (physical or verbal).

So I am honestly asking PM and the men of this boardâ¦.please decode this for meâ¦I have a long history of I give, they takeâ¦how is the âbe giving and he will give backâ idea going to work for me?

This one is actually pretty easy. She was being giving and supportive in order to receive attention. A good man would recognize that and would not exploit her desperate need for attention.  But she’s picking the wrong guys. She finds guys who do exploit her need for attention. Hell, she’s in New York City, an exploitative place.

This is one where she needs to be more open to different types of men.  Actually, she needs to be less giving. Oh, the irony!

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Post Information
Title An Interesting Comment
Author The Private Man
Date February 24, 2012 12:57 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Blog The Private Man
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/The-Private-Man/an-interesting-comment.26791
https://theredarchive.com/blog/26791
Original Link https://theprivateman.wordpress.com/2012/02/23/an-interesting-comment/
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