I had a joyous Yule, and I hope you did, too.
Among my favorite gifts this year was this magnificent coat.
It’s a replica of Captain Jack Harkness’ coat from the Doctor Who spin-off, Torchwood. Captain Jack is a 51st century bisexual (omnisexual) immortal stud who will happily bang anything that moves. Male, female, transgender, alien, inanimate, you name it. He also has a delicious sense of style. For those of you looking to up your visual Alpha presentation without resorting to plaid flannel hunting shirts or teardrop prison tattoos, allow me to recommend considering . . . The Captain’s Coat:
The classic gray looks good on anyone. The shoulders broaden you, the length makes you look taller. It’s a rayon/polyester blend that looks like wool (still Dry Clean Only, but so worth it). The classic 1940s styling (it’s modeled after a WWII-era RAF officer’s coat) screams unapologetic masculinity while at the same time providing an imposing fashion statement.
You feel like The Captain when you’re wearing this.
This isn’t a sporty little jacket . . . this is a Man’s Coat, double breasted, serious, adult, and dripping with teh Sexy. Spacious outer and inner pockets provide a haven for your valuables, gadgets, and weaponry, while the shoulder epaulettes give you an air of authority and command presence.
And people look at you. A ten-minute trip around the grocery store on Christmas Eve made me the object of female attention, and I could have gotten laid at least twice if I’d had time, inclination, or freedom to do so. Mrs. Ironwood can’t keep her hands off me. I can barely keep my hands off myself.
Pair it with a gray or black scarf and gloves, or add a dashing grey fedora (wide-brimmed, high crowned) to complete the look. My kids look at me with new respect. People are more polite to me. It makes me act more Alpha when I wear it, because people treat me more Alpha. When you say something wearing this coat, you expect people to listen to you.
But damn, it’s sexy
. If you’re looking for a quick, fairly inexpensive way to up your Alpha presentation, this is worth six months of manicures or three weeks of gym time. You can’t help feeling dashing in this coat.
It’s a +1 Sex Rank on a hanger.
Just a suggestion – but for the full effect, skip the geeky t-shirt and go for a button-down shirt, no tie, and suspenders.
And the sunglasses. Don’t forget the sunglasses.