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Breaking Beta: Step Up And Take A Stand

Ian Ironwood
May 10, 2013
To be BETA is to be afraid.


Fear is what keeps your ass in the seat and your mouth shut.  Fear of upsetting the applecart, of going against the stream, of creating a ruckus and getting yourself "in trouble".  BETAS act out of fear, moderating their behavior to fit within expectations.  BETAS don't rock the boat, they don't fight city hall, they don't go against the grain.

BETAS don't want to put themselves and what they have at risk.  They don't want to stick their necks out, because they fear the consequences of their "deviant" actions.  BETAS operate under the principal that attracting attention is a bad thing.  They fear retribution for even the attempt to take a risk.  Their fear paralyzes them into inaction and apathy, allowing the world to pass them by while they huddle down, nose to grindstone, making another dollar for the Man.

It's not that they don't want to take a risk.  They crave it, in actuality, and indulge in endless daydreams of what they WOULD have done, if only . . . and then their hamster kicks in.  There are a million perfectly good reasons why they didn't . . . do anything.  And every single one of those reasons, when you hold them up to close inspection, can be reduced to fear.  Fear of failure.  Fear of embarrassment.  Fear of losing status.  Fear of losing money.  Fear of losing your woman.  Fear of humiliation.  Fear of arrest.  Fear of what other people say.  Fear of what Authority, whomever that might be, will think.  Fear of defeat.

For many, if not most BETAS, that primal fear is that of a domineering mother.  With no legitimate authoritarian father figure to fear, testosterone-a-testosterone, then his fear revolves around that of a disapproving, shaming mother.  Their fear is not the legitimate fear of a young man who has an appreciation of his father's power and mastery approaching awe, but a fear of disappointing his mother and subjecting himself to shame and humiliation.

Men who are raised by strong mothers and weak or absent fathers don't learn the positive masculine trait of calculated risk-taking; female values punish risk, not reward it.   Women who raise boys tend to resort to shame, humiliation, and severe disappointment.  Men who are raised to endure such social controls adopt feminine, not masculine values in their interpersonal relationships.  They are trained against their nature to seek consensus and cooperate, not lead and compete.  That leaves them frustrated, in constant fear of forces that are, in actuality, far weaker than they are.

They just don't know it.  They've been told for so long that they're all but convinced that what they need to fear more than anything is the disapproval of women, not the disapproval of their fellow men.  Lack of paternal oversight has engendered a sense of disregard and disrespect for men in their minds.  They see the social and cultural weakness of masculinity, and while they yearn for a real, authentic taste of the power implicit in it, their fear of maternal rejection is far more powerful.

Betas are emotionally retarded.  The basic shame complex used as a necessary social control in childhood lingers long past its expiration date, leading to the programming that capitulates to the feminine imperative by default, regardless of his personal interest in the matter.  The result is an immature masculinity, an "extended adolescence  that can lead to permanent and often bitter BETA bachelorhood or a frustrating marriage to a gal "just like mom", in which he has transferred his social control from his mother to his wife.  All too often the BETAS think so fondly of the happiness they experienced those first few years away from Mom but before the Wife came along that they spend the rest of their emotional life in a vain attempt to recapture it.

Later in life it leads to the passive-aggressive frustration that culminates in an affair, or acting out in other "mid-life crisis" sorts of ways.   The decades of fear eat away at the remnants of his masculine soul, until the yearning for the years he lost in frustrated loneliness make him, one fateful day, weigh the cost of inaction higher than the price of action, and . . . he snaps.  The looming fear that guided his every breath since childhood grows wearisome until he cannot bear existence under its psychological oppression, and sometimes a violent or unexpected psychological trauma results: an affair, life changes, depression, suicide, or worse.  When the BETA capitulates to the feminine imperative  he capitulates to his own fear.  And when the BETA finally falls, in the end, it is often because he became a victim of his own fear.

Fear keeps the BETAS quiet.  Fear keeps them docile and controllable.  Fear keeps them . . . BETA.

ALPHAS, on the other hand, also feel fear, every bit as much as a BETA.  The difference is, they do not capitulate to it.  They see fear and risk not as warnings and punishments, but as challenges and adventures.  They live their lives not seeking to avoid discomfort and acrimony, but by consciously establishing enough adequate security and control over their lives that it limits discomfort and acrimony in the first place.


ALPHAS are not fearless, or even fear-light.  ALPHAS understand fear for what it is, and consciously choose not to be affected by it.  They understand the trap of fear and know how to avoid it.  They know the value of fear, as it is a foil by which to measure the limits of the masculine soul.  Without fear, there is no courage.  Without courage, no valor.  Without valor, there is no glory.  And we eat that glory shit up.

ALPHAS are not born, usually, they are the result of a man making the active decision to take control over his life.  "To know thyself is the ultimate form of aggression", and the ALPHA makes self-awareness the sword at his hip.  The ALPHA defines and then refines his inner Will, understands his inner-self, his strengths and weaknesses, and his potential.  The ALPHA sees opportunity in fear, not danger.  The ALPHA knows that sometimes you have to step up to the plate, take a stand, cowboy up and do what needs to be done because you know it needs to be done and you, as a conscious matter of will, make the determination or recognition that you, alone, bear the responsibility for ensuring it gets done because . . . honestly, there just isn't anyone else to do it.

You aren't born an ALPHA.  You make the decision to be ALPHA, and once you feel the sting of that commitment on every XY chromosome in your body, the rest will proceed accordingly.  That doesn't mean abandoning fear of the consequences.  That means accepting the consequences and understanding that fear is a necessary part of the process.

All this sounds lovely, truly inspirational, but it doesn't mean jack shit without a couple of real-world demonstrations of men who stepped up and took a stand when it put them at risk.  "Show me how to break my BETA!" I get in emails all the time.  I've explained to you the difference between ALPHA and BETA and their approach to fear.  Here are two examples of men who were presented with an opportunity, and instead of capitulating to fear like a BETA, they stepped up and risked themselves because they saw it as their personal responsibility to do so.

The first is this man, the neighbor who violated the usual "good fences make good neighbors/MYOB" attitude of the usual working-class neighborhood and took the risk of breaking a social taboo when he saw a little white girl trying to get out of his neighbor's house.

Charles Ramsey could have ignored it.  After all, it wasn't his business.  BETAS understand that crossing boundaries and breaking social taboos holds great risk, and they often refuse to do it even when action could mean life or death, so great is the power of that restriction.  He knew it was probably a domestic dispute, and getting involved with those is almost never a good idea.  But Ramsey allowed his intuition and his instinct guide him, and instead of folding to the fear of upsetting a neighbor, he took the risk to kick down a door, and lives were redeemed as a result.

(In the aftermath, solipsism begins to rear its ugly head already: unwilling to let the spotlight of glory shine on the dude who did the rescue, feminists have already started making this about women and domestic violence, not a man's heroism.

“In many times and places, a line like that [about domestic violence] has been offered as an excuse for walking away, not for helping a woman break down your neighbor’s door,” Amy Davidson wrote in the New Yorker on Tuesday. “How many women have died as a result? They didn’t yesterday.”
And she continues to downplay Ramsey's assistance, playfully diminishes his role by dwelling on his more "folksy" working-class idiom, and tries to focus more on the heroism of the girls.  I'm not downplaying the fortitude and patience they needed to take the opportunity -- but they were in distress.  Ramsey was not . . . and only the masculine impulse to act, and not capitulate to the feminine fear of impropriety, allowed him to act.  But I digress.)

That's worthy of note . . . and of course absent from the feminist accounts, which are starting to bring up Ramsey's own colorful history with the law.  Sorry, Cupcakes, this dude rocks, no matter how you try to spin it, and he doesn't rock because of domestic violence or the sanctity of womanhood, he rocks because he was a fucking MAN who did what needed to be done.  Feminism doesn't enter into it, and any attempt to make it fit is opportunistic and disingenuous   Ramsey even wants the reward money to go to the victims, speaking even more highly of his character.  I admire that, and I encourage anyone so inclined to add a little reward to his glory can donate to a fund to benefit him directly, here).

The women rescued are not the only ones saved -- their families, who have lived a tortured existence for the duration of the crime, are now free from the dread of hearing about their daughters' remains being discovered in a ditch, someday.   Because Charles Ramsey was willing to cowboy up, overcome his fear, and put his big-ass boot through a door, the ripples he creates will touch the lives of hundreds, if not thousands.  All because he saw it as his personal responsibility to overcome his fear, summon courage, and act ALPHA.

We don't encounter such horrific situations every day, but when we are presented with the opportunity to act in the face of fear, how we react defines the scope of who we are as men.  The BETA turns his head and keeps walking, rationalizing away his fear as a civil desire not to get involved in other people's problems.  The ALPHA recognizes the situation for what it is, sees himself in a position to affect change, and is willing to challenge his fear and even his own notions of his capabilities to own that opportunity.  He acts.  Usually from long practice, he allows his instincts and his intellect to conspire to inform his body what the hell to do . . . and he does it.  Boot.  Door.  Damsels rescued.  Charles Ramsey Stepped UP, broke BETA, and is hailed as a hero as a result.  As well he should be.

But sometimes the challenge of fear isn't whether or not to act, but whether or not to speak.  The Left calls this Speaking Truth To Power, but in essence it is the very Red Pill impulse to state the observable truth of a situation, regardless of the consequences.  BETAS fear this almost more than a physical confrontation.  BETAS keep their mouths shut, their ass in the seat, their head down, next problem, next question, maybe they won't see me if I'm quiet enough.  BETAS prefer hiding or running to confrontation, and those who have been habitually emotionally abused by domineering women in their childhood have been trained to do just that.

They are highly susceptible to shame and disgrace, and strongly encouraged to hand their sense of moral guidance and personal responsibility over to the nearest convenient woman.  That's very hard programming to overcome, whether you're in school, in an office, or in a relationship.  The BETA fears retribution, judgement and rejection . . . so he is willing to submit to nearly anything in an attempt to avoid it.  The last thing a BETA wants is to call attention to himself by calling attention to a problem, much less volunteering to fix it.

ALPHAS don't have that problem.  They understand that they are agents of change in the universe, limited only by their will and their situation.  They actively seek power and control, and they do not hesitate to use it when appropriate or prudent.  They learn how to use their Voice, how to assume command or control of a situation, and do not hesitate to call attention to problems that need to be addressed out of fear of retribution.

ALPHAS not only possess the self-awareness and instinct to know when and how to act, they also possess the understanding that they have the power to be a potent force in the universe, if they have the will to do so, and they assume the authority for that power along with the responsibility.  ALPHAS don't "bitch", they point out obvious and sometimes blatant flaws in the way things work.  In the absence of a legitimate structure to disseminate Authority, they assume that authority themselves, and do not hesitate to use it until a demonstrably superior Authority supersedes it.

That means that ALPHAS take a stand.  They ignore or overcome the fear of the retribution, shame, humiliation, and rejection they might suffer in taking such a bold risk.  ALPHAS are dominant in life because they are presented with situations that they deem unacceptable, and they call attention to it until it is fixed.  That is rarely popular with the established Authority, particularly if that authority has lost credibility and respect for failure to perform.  Authority without efficacy and respect is tyranny and control, nothing more.

ALPHAS speak Truth to Power, even when it could mean their ass.  That's just who they are.  That's just who this kid is. Two days ago, Duncanville, Texas high school student Jeff Bliss overcame his BETA instincts to docilely be subject to the brutal banality of his high school educational system, and instead of grumbling about it passive-aggressively on Facebook and then doing it anyway out of fear of retribution, Jeff found his ALPHA.

Jeff spoke Truth to Power, and did so mindful that the consequences could be -- personally -- dire.  When Jeff was presented with a situation he felt was unfair and ineffective, he took a stand and said what needed to be said . . . and thanks to the ubiquity of smartphones, his words have sparked a viral firestorm over the event.

Check out the balls on Jeff:

That young man needs a full ride to the college of his choice, and then a TEDtalk afterwards, as a reward for his courage and valor. He is a young man who recognized his own weaknesses, having dropped out of school for a year and experienced life as an adult without an education, and then he passionately went back once he understood its value. And when he ran up against a lack of performance, he held his teacher accountable.  He did not sit down and shut up.  He said his piece and he boldly left for the principal's office.  Now he's an internet star, and as well he should be.

Charles and Jeff both found ways to break their BETA and act.  The Red Pill recognizes the importance of action over words, but in Jeff's case his words were, in effect, actions.  Both men took responsibility for what they did, and both men are being rewarded for their courage and boldness with the glory of renown.

Of course, either situation could have ended very differently, with different variables.  But I feel that both men would have done the same thing without the cameras rolling.  Character is what you do when no one else is looking, and both of these men demonstrated their strong characters with the full knowledge of the risks, and little hope of reward.  Yet they rolled the dice anyway, took a shot to end injustice and tyranny, and found their ALPHA.  (Oh, and Jeff?  My Niece thinks you're like WICKED hot.  Just sayin'.  ALPHA = Damp panties, always).

If you want to break your BETA, that's how it's done: by embracing your fear and proceeding anyway, not fleeing it.

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